Raindrop

So strange. It's drizzling, Im listening to Chopin's Prelude 'Raindrops'. Ahh.

The feeling of being stranded in school is one of a kind. I dislike it. Really dislike it. You want to be home, yet you can't find a way that you can reach home unwet. Rain. I love the rain when I'm in doors. Cooling breezes and stuff. But no, walking in the rain is not a very pleasant thing to do for me. I get sick when I get exposed to rain, I don't know why. It's just some glitchy immune system I have.

School passed pretty quickly today. infact, I don't really remember sitting through any lessons. Ah well. I spent math lecture trying to catch up with Music theory, which I had Daniel screaming at me, all the time for not knowing how to do....=X. Gp lesson was gPW instead and we filed out group file. Pw, is like the main focus and also Chinese alevels.

I won't say that I dislike Pw. Who likes Pw? I know the girls in my group put in alot of effort. But compare our group to the other groups, we are like doing way much more and putting in alot more effort than the others. Don't threaten just because I'm late for submission for one day. (and I also did inform)...Compare us with other groups, we (me and daniel) are already doing more than any typical guy in our class.

It's late. After being stranded in school, I arrived home at 4 plus. Did the speech for OP and then I have to head to Thai class soon. I shall do my music theory after I reach home around 11. Look, exams are over, but hey, Pw isn't my life. I have other stuff going on. I have preperations for a mission trip, an upcoming music theory exam (hey I wanna take my grade 6 practical next year okayy). I know school work takes piority, but it's hard to juggle so many stuff like that.....but still, I think the bare minimal is sufficient. Exams have ended, but life doesn't stop there. I am not as carefree as people may think.

Though I know my 'rotting at home' is an abstract composition of emoing, piano mugging (lots to catchup). I don't really dota nowadays. I do have things I have to complete, task undone. Pw, is just a small part of life, and a small subset of school which is also sits alongside other uncompleted tasks. Doesn't mean exams over means I must go Pw mugging. I know it's important, but being late for one day is excusable, especially when I DID inform and also, when it's an internal dateline.

Do not judge people just based on the little fragment of impression you know about them. (I think this is like a ripoff from a quote in wr's blog.) it's quite true. and i'm not even talking about facts, knowledge, it's just an impression.Infact, even in our minds, do not judge, unless it is nessecary. It's quite a shocking thing that the human mind can even judge by their own impression of another thing/person/object. Wicked.

Digressing....

Life isn't horrible now. Life is actually quite okay for me if I look at it with an optimistic perception. It ain't that bad. It ain't horrible. I think about it, why haven't I been keeping myself busy. Why do I let my thoughts run wild. Why, so many whys. Infact, moods and feelings are governed by our thoughts. When we recall pleasant memories, we feel happy. When we recall unhappy ones, or nasty happenings, we feel sad, depressed. Thoughts actually control how we feel. Call it self-delusion, but I think the art of controlling one's own mind (and thoughts) is a skill very valuable. but one should only use it wisely and not excessively.

Emo you would say. But I think emo-ing is part of developing one's characer. But of course, thoughts must not be suicidal. When we think the unthinkable, we are indulging in fantasy.

Emo, overly used but vaguely defined. IMO(in my opinion), emo (no slight-pun intended), means feeling emotional (as emo is abbreviated from emotional), in a melancholic way. Emotional sometimes may be in a positive context, yet Emo only refers to the negative aspects of Emo. Everybody has their hardtimes, their bitter memories, their bad experiences, unsatisfaction with anything. All such emotions are embedded within them. Sealed (think Naruto here..), tightly. But as our mood changes, situations may force them out or it might be because of changing of moods thats why we feel Emo all of a sudden. Usually a triggering factor will cause emoness. (a single random thought that was brought about by some random spacing out), when we start thinking about dissatisfactions, regrets, fear, and terrible things that are ALREADY WITHIN US to begin with.I consider that Emo. (Though we can feel emo about things that are happening). There aren't Emo people. Just people who get Emo more often.

Besides, I don't really consider the act of cutting and "people who have a problem with their own wrists " (along those lines, quoted from wenpu's friendster), a part of the emo behaviour. People can feel emo, but the don't take action. The act of indulgence in negative feelings is what defines "feeling emo"....

Cutting , is more of psychotic behaviour.

I know no history of how 'Emo' is being derived. Emo culture (like appearances). But what I have just defined is what I refer Emo to. Everyone has different perception, varies from people to people and I have stated mine. Have your own? Keep it to yourself. Or post it on your own blog, don't disturb mine. Im happy with it. Oh by the way, my hair is long and unkempt. Not emo.

I have more to add. But since i need to go out soon, I shall get ready. Post again when I get back. (look forward to picture post).