Sincerely

To those who still believe in me. Thank you.

In fine fettle I shall be.

ZZZ

My ponning spree was apparently stopped. I got called back to go to school. The reason I am still at home now is because I have to cut my hair first, before reporting to school, for maybe a lesson or two. I've been mugging, really.

I don't know what to say, but apparently finishing the math TYS (with the exception of statistics in general and complex and binomial theorem which apparently I am too lazy to do), does not level one up much. I shall go to school and see what stuff they have to offer. Crap, I feel my chem is noob, I'm really noob. Crap, say(5-(2/7)) weeks left
.

The reason

for this post here at this time is because I am not at school. Figured my hair is too long to stay in school, I will get caught at every corner, I believe. Better to be safe than sorry, goes the wise saying. I'll cut, sooner or later. But there is a distinct palpable fear that I might have to infiltrate in order to gather and pillage whatever resources the school might have as a bait which I might require in gearing up for A's. Again, sadly, whether I like it or not.

To mitigate guilt is nothing simple. Either I study, study more, or resign to the shackles of never ending guilt.

I spend the morning watching Heroes, season 3. (I'm slightly on the slow side). Kah Seng told me about it yesterday. A not so lively, not so jocund introduction into the plot, we see the coming of new characters, and the partings of some veterans in the series. Halfway through episode one I was still half confused, but I could see great potential for this season. The devices that are used are still the familiar ones. It's just the same, "show the future->tease the audience->and mitigate a disaster". As simple as that, but strangely the simple save the world now becomes more complex. In episode two, we are introduced to the butterfly effect, which basically means that if something is sensitive to it's initial conditions, it might have a ripple effect on subsequent matters which in this case, refers to the future. A small change now, might have unpredictable effects on the distant future, suggests this theory. Interestingly enough, I spend my morning reading these crap on wiki! (again!)

I'm going to study soon, I hope.

Invest

I'm investing in waking up later so that I have more energy for the day. I had a series of rather stupid dreams recently. Last night and two nights ago.

Dream #1 (two nights ago).

I was at this mall with a friend (won't state who), but apparently there was a vending machine, or rather a toy dispensing machine with soya bean/milk in it. And then apparently we came up with a plan to steal all the milk. (cool?). I was hesitant, but my friend made me, by some weird coercive methods. So we decided to DRILL a hole in that machine, and then suck all the milk out. We did that in broad daylight, in a totally public situation, but we were discrete. At least, tried to. So while we were transferring all the milk into a container we got busted. There was this auntie selling clothes by the side and she saw through our sinister plan! Then I insisted it was my friends idea, and then somehow I felt so much like blaming my friend who forced me into all this. And then, somehow the police came and then by the next conscious pulse of that dream, i found myself on a unicycle cycling along the road down a hill trying to escape. Then I cycled, cycled cycled and then I crashed. I woke up. Stupid dream.

Well, I guess the drilling a hole thing came from Prison Break season 4 episode 5 which I just watched. And the milk probably came from the melamine incident. So guess dreams DO have relevance, but ultimately, the way it pieces things up amuses me.


Dream #2

Okay this one is going to be weird, very weird. I found myself in a RPG game. Whereby I was wait, some spring like, bouncing warrior who can use leaps, jumping to attack enemies. I was bonded to a clan, who had a evil clan leader who (I was supposed to be intimidated by and wanted to kill). He had this bodyguard fellow clan made who had this staff, long staff (which now, upon recalling information I suppose his a mage). He was yellow in colour, and then remember there was this system of battle whereby if you want to attack someone you have to issue him a "ticket", and one has limited number of tickets. Then everyone had this weapon and staff thingy where could be forced into a "bigger mode" ( think bankai ). Apparently, everyone, except me. So in this dream, I had no weapon and only springs attached to my legs. And then I had to avoid every single person that issued me tickets. Jumpin jumping jumpin. It was sure tiring.

Eventually I jumped, and landed in some lava pit. Then I woke up. Again, stupid dream.

What a stupid post anyway

??

The early morning shower is certainly a good enough reason not to turn up at school. Fortunately they did not release physics as they promised to. I get my weekends in peace. E for math, after moderation is something which I should be neutral with. With almost half the cohort failing, I'm sure it was a tough paper. The paper was difficult, and to add on, I counted, and I made about 20 marks of careless mistakes on both papers together (out of 200%), because of the lameness of little or no error carry forward. As usual, statistics slaughtered most of us. The seemingly easy, underestimated portion of H2 math turned out to be the most furious, most minatory of all. I am left thinking, is there hope in my math? I'm halfway through the orange TYS (it's been about a week, due to school, other reasons whereby I have halted doing the TYS, until today), and TYS seems so much easier than prelims.

Awwwwwwww

I was just reminded of my priorities right now. And after being so, I have no choice but to go and sleep and try to leave that reminder preserved for tomorrow. The thing is that the guilt never stays. It erases itself, diminishes with sleep.

Didn't get back much papers today. School was a blatant waste of time. Physics was beneficial actually but assembly was *_*. Hilarious. Three stories whereby 2 out of 3 were not really successful one. People who made it "indirectly", and someone who truly made it. There was no theme, there was not organization but just three random people. Two who were hardworking did badly in their A levels, one probably due to incompetence and the other due to complacency. I don't really know the details. The last story was a crazy cheesy story. A guy who had a girlfriend when he had twelve lost his girlfriend to an accident. His girlfriend had a wish to study in NUS, and so after his girlfriend died in the accident he resolved to enter NUS in the place of his dead girlfriend. So mushy! So cheesy! And so "no link". Okay, well, there was bonus points with the audience because of the unique speech, unique story, and best of all, inspiring finale. (Apparently due to his promise to himself, his girl, like say SIX years ago), he managed to uphis DEE in prelims into AAA in actual A'levels. Well it's not impossible. Because I personally feel DEE in prelims already shows some competency.

Prelims will be a big mess, a myriad of nauseating results. I only got back one paper today which was physics paper 1. Heard that Math suffered a 55% failure rate. That is certainly something to be worried for. Anyway tomorrow will be dooms day, but this setback whether I like it or not, either way, has to be a driving force. Push!

It's time to put everything aside. Everything irrelevant has to be placed in a time capsule and opened some other time. For now, it's only mug. Ty, go!

To bed. Sleeping time.

Inherent difficulties

It's late again. The bewitching hour, the twilight hour, the mugging time, or whatever you might like to call it. I'm morphing into an owl, my eyes don't get bigger but as time increases, the number of careless mistakes in my math gets more and more. My eyes grow smaller (as counter intuitive to how I could evolve into an owl). Perhaps evolution suggests that man can morph into owls because A'levels force them to mug into the late hours (no pun intended). Hours or owls man. Yes I'm mugging now because I woke up at twelve noon today.

This is going to turn out to be another filler-oh-i-have-nothing-to-say desultory post. I am however, under the effect irascible temperament, vertigo and adrenaline rushes, (though I admit some may be negating with respect to another). Weird, yes. weird. There is a deep craving to play FF tactics at such a condition, perhaps I shall play a little before I go to bed. I have almost totally stopped piano practice. It's too draining. Playing a few quests on tactics seem much more like a break to me. Piano is just, draining and before I know it, I am bereft of energy, and then the paucity of alertness brings about a chain reaction which saps more energy. More and more, till I am left to rot when I'm put before my books.

Priority comes into play, and that is definitely one important order in any form of tactics. Though it has never been close to being my forte, I will try. Inherent difficulties lay evident.

What a night. I spent much of my night doodling actually. I was intrigued by this recent hype about the chemical Melamine in milk powder. Consume and be stoned to death! (internally). I suggest that the hype is overrated. What is consuming few grams of M&Ms? Though I will definitely try not to, it's certainly believe it's bad for health, but not life threatening I believe. Babies can die because they have a diet based on milk, but we as grown ups should have more than that amount of resistance (are we still level one noobies hello?). And Melamine has a really cool structural formula.

And crap, I have been reading a lot out of syllabus stuff to satisfy my curiosity. And then I left my book open at the same page, at the same question for hours.

Ramifications

The distant future cannot fail to seem bleak. I find myself sandwiched between excess choices. A myriad of choices that diverge and converge at the same time into one hobson's choice. The do or die scenario is never new, however it does seem to induce more of that, that, that adrenaline rush. Or bluntly putting, pressure.

Yesterday marks the end of my aimless, wandering, aloof me. And today marks the very beginning of this 42 day adventure. An adventure where protagonist ideally is bereft of distraction. Enters his super zone mode, and pulls out his very own Excalibur that impales the rocks.

Sadly, I am inflicted with a status commonly known as a bad sore throat. However, I had chilli for lunch and chilli for dinner again. I finally suffer under severe miscalculations. Even several dosages of throat medicine and strepsils could not ease much of the pain. I find myself stubbornly believing that fighting fire with fire, is a workable plan.

Oh yes. (seriously, I don't know why am I blogging in such a tone tonight).

Yesterday was spent at Benita's birthday party at this mansion. Everything was okay just that I perhaps have been too much of a spoil spot falling asleep (deliberately or not, you decide) in the middle of all that ecstatic pandemonium. Majority found themselves hanging around the main living hall where the same regulars take turns playing what I call, " a bore".

A game seemingly called "Rock band", which I myself don't see the point to it. It captivates to a certain extent by creating a chance for people to think they're doing music. What is emitted is nothing more than pure noise. The game seemed like a variation of rhythmic games (which family includes O2 Jam, DJ max and so on and so forth). You press the buttons as the screen seemingly perpetually loops and spawns new patterns for one to engage in battle with. A nice concept which was good while it lasted. There were drums, but I have never been a fan of drums, let alone electric or bass guitars.

Inane it may seem to me, I cannot fathom the thought of how everyone could remain glued and hyped about such a game. I gave it one hour to reach it's saturation capacity. It did not. one and a half, everyone still remained in their excited states (same old people though). Not everyone got a chance to play, I never wanted to defile my hands.

My opinion probably is obscure in the eyes of many. Like I said, to each his own, and Rock band is certainly not within the ken of my interests. I will not obtrude, I will not try to implore. but merely state what I feel is right, and what I stand for.

Perhaps I was sincerely tired.

Back to reality. I feel noob, I probably am. I feel that demoralization is actually motivation. How ironic. The more I don't know now, the more I will, when I find out.

With wings.

So many things are fighting for my attention right now. I feel so polar. I planned to do work today, but my gusto was negated by the logical deduction that one should take a rest after prelims. And then I was severely affected by it's reaction force, which could be said to have exerted some guilt upon me. Not very ideal. Either way, my first dungeon includes several math problems organized in a form of a yellow orange book which is deceptively thin. Restore to full health, TY, because there is no save point. None at all. Resolves to finish math TYS in a week.

And so yes what is grabbing my attention. I suddenly (and randomly, or not) received some prompting or rather inspiration, or maybe some inclination to go read bleach and naruto manga. Been a year? Guess about one hundred chapters will be out!! Oh well. 6 more weeks, and 100 chapters should be fine, OR NOT. What the heck.

And then I just downloaded a few games on my DS. And I plan to play them tonight. Crap. Then I still have my revolutionary etude and la campanella to play.

And then I start getting guilty about not studying.

I was reading my previous blog (2006 posts) where I was taking O levels. I realized I was totally unprepared at the point 23 days before the first paper. If something has changed, it would be the calmness. I feel myself slightly pressurized, (looking at prelims), enough to displace my calmness. I feel disorientated. I need to start doing work, but lost at where to begin. How, and why I could remain so calm during Olevels and pull off a 50% reduction in points for the actual thing. If there is something I should learn from the past me, it would be confidence.

There is no doubt that I want and aim for battery grades. But to do so, it's not about scrambling, staggering or fighting for the last yoctosecond. But more of the strategy and tactics I use to achieve my sinister plans.

And just to gather that amount of tactics. I'm playing Final Fantasy Tactics on DS.

And now, we see rationalization at it's best.

Congrats Ty. one more step down the noobscalator.

I hope

chem MCQ~ p(x<20)=1

CRAP. prelims are goners. now it's on to the real thing. mugging begins now, (real one). Snap out of all that illusion. All you have done is nothing but a mirage. Snap out of it and start the real action!

6 weeks. countdown begins next Monday.

Bus incident was well awkward. Thinking back, it has this ticklish irking feeling to it. Don't like it. Anyone wants to know can ask me personally. It will entertain you, I'm certain.

5 days of 'break'.

I'm gonna start mugging today. ROAR (without break)

(I hope.)

-.-

So in a few hours time prelims will officially end. Ty will begin mugging for real. 6 weeks.

Chem MCQ later. I have to get >30. My concept is generally relatively weaker and I am inherently careless. It doesn't really console that ultimately what decides your score in MCQ is not your thought process nor your working nor your method but that one freaking letter that is shaded into the OAS. Quite sad, but inversely, it could work out for the better. I don't think I'll be able to pull off a "collineesque" performance later, just wish me all the best. I need all the marks I can gather.

I've been slacking for the past 2-3 weeks. Never studied much right before the papers. I think it was because I was burnt out from all that night study crap and long days at school. Exam period is relatively relaxing. I should take this time, relax, do the papers, and most importantly brace myself for the results. I do not want to think. Get out of my head!

I've been taking the bus home from church these two days. It is so ridiculous how I could stand right in front of an empty seat when the person refuses to move in and let me sit. I don't know, but it seems like common sense. Once in awhile, when the situations reverse and an excess of people march up the bus, I tend to move inside so that people can sit. Though there is a high level of awkwardness if you move in and yet the person whom you offer the seat to doesn't want to sit down. Awkward as it is, however, not giving the seat up is awkward as well. And wait, it's not about giving up the seat. It's about moving your butt several inches to the right so that I can sit on the outside. Where's the common sense? To avoid awkward situations, I sit by the window every time I get the chance, so I am never faced with this dilemma. Why can't people think ahead?

Been such a long time since I took the bus. Bus ethics is so intriguing. The way people choose their seats tells us a lot about human nature. Okay, let's say there was this girl who was sitting with another lady. Then a seat frees up in front (no one on the two seater). Some people who choose to stay on the seat they are in, some people who prefer seating alone might actually shift to the free space so that they could seat alone. I didn't. Because it was quite obvious that the people on the bus is not a constant. More people will get up and eventually someone will sit at that place. Shift? Not worth it. If I recall, that girl was rather attractive, and it was quite unwise to shift because a blanga went to sit beside her. Not to be racist or whatsoever, I would definitely prefer an old chinese man to a blanga. Her reaction was priceless. Man, it was like, "c,mon go behind, don't sit with me".

Another situation when people don't think. They just simply don't think ahead.

I can't really think of what to blog. Im feeling really fatigued. I slept near 0300 this morning. Can't sleep!

Okay. TY has to read some chem before MCQ later. I will attempt to change blogskin this weekend.

Oh crap

Now I dread prelim results. Oh crap.

Last fragment

This is the last fragment of what's left in prelims. Much of our prelims has and had been decided. What is left is a small tiny fragmented chance to redeem ourselves. Paper 1, as many call it, is a paper which is based merely on concept, sheer luck and not much preparation has to be done. It weighs little, but it is our only hope in hopes of redeeming the mess one had made in earlier papers.
And.

Random but. PRISON BREAK SEASON 4 EPISODE FOUR is out. Can't wait! loading it now. And tomorrow is physics paper 1.

I really have to bankai after prelims. I may have improved, but perhaps still not stable nor sufficient. I. By A levels I will be on wings, tenfold my strength, in strong fortified magic armor. Till then, it will be under the rapids and waterfall.

Can't wait for marking days. I shall be a good boy and mug during those days.

The worst way to die

Physics today I assume was an okay paper. But I wasn't in the right state of mind. I blew away so many marks. Misreading questions, assuming weird stuff which wounded my marks pretty badly (bad enough to be consider murder, or suicide for this matter). I knew some formulas but I had to make sure and I went to derive the formula, to double check. I double checked wrongly which resulted in using the wrong formula which killed more marks. The horror of the exam condition. The only way to redeem myself now is Paper 1. Prelims are gone, most of it, in both ways. Thus, the worst way to die is do something you know how to do wrongly.

Crap I'm just not going to study for chem tomorrow. Crap. I got to erase all carelessness in me, all instability. I'm just...just...not stable.

BOOM

I have nothing to do, that's why I'm blogging. Again, this has been the top in list of reasons why I blog.

Basically this week is a pseudo holiday. With papers mainly in the afternoon, waking up late is something I've never experienced in awhile. I slept in this morning. To hell with physics. It's just paper 2 and it's going to be a 1 hour 15 min scramble against time. *psyches myself up*.

Refreshed, rejuvenated and revived. The three R's that form the essentials to anti stoning.

Crap. after all. I don't have much to blog about.

The moon

There is nothing much to this post. I am suffering from a slight sore throat, I don't know why. I just ate chilli. Fight fire with fire perhaps? (maybe not).

I am refraining from blogging about how fatigue-struck I was. But I would gladly claim that Ty is now officially rejuvenated.

The Mid Autumn musical at church was awesome. I know awesome is such a superficial word. I enjoyed myself a lot and the humor kept me wide awake though I was already at the peak of tiredness. Laudable effort, and even results that transcend beyond that. I regret going for tennis after that. I literally felt so much like sleeping halfway through. All my timings, shots all went haywire. (see, everything is controlled by the damn brain). It felt so much like shutting down. shutting down....

I played for at most about half an hour, then I found a spot to rest. By the time I reached home, instantaneously the moment of contact with my bed was the moment of deep sleep. (of course, I got myself clean first).

I should have stayed for all the moon cakes. The moon is really defined. But the moon is nothing but a geostationary satellite. It was certainly evident how ancient people did not study physics. Chang Er could not possibly have overcome the gravitational force from the Earth. Or did she take a shuttle up there? I highly doubt so. Would someone enlighten me about the story because apparently I am ignorant about it.

Anyway, happy Mid Autumn festival. It serves a good enough reason to be playing the Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven. Maybe Beethoven ate too much moon cakes. Wait, there wasn't globalisation then and there. Germany and China are still very far apart.

The inevitable

What we're facing right now is the inevitably ineluctable. Fatigue! Fatigue is a plague. It plagues the mind of he who thinks too much. Like I said, Coffee is the only reason why I am awake. Borrowed, borrowed and more borrowed energy. I live on borrowed energy. I had better escape this chain reaction, lest the fatigue snowballs into eternity. I'm going to rest full health tonight.

TY.bot *recharged* by tomorrow. That shall be my goal of tonight. A healthy, warm, and satisfying night that will rejuvenate.

I am already feeling oh so sick of prelims. That monster!

Today I was suffering from some prison break withdrawal symptoms. Ty is so noob. Just three episodes of season four and he is craving for more. I knew that Episode 4 is not out yet, and yet I had to desperately search for it over Google when I jolly well know that I won't find it. I think I'm going crazy.

This afternoon was one hellish afternoon. I was too fatigued. but yet somehow I refused to sleep. My indecisive nature led me to drink a few sips of coffee (to be exact, half a cup). And then I later decided that coffee was going to keep me "awake" but not energized. Which was being super tired, fatigued and not able to sleep. Occasionally, it filters and numbs off the fatigue, but at this point, where I am using coffee to the such abusive extents, I doubt it can do anything about my severe critical condition of my body's energy level. I did everything to no avail and I was tired, and not able to sleep.

What a weird feeling.

ANYWAY all of you whom I tagged, go do the quiz! No one has done yet (I think!).

Muahahhaa

Things I did today.(chronological)
1) Chem paper 3 in the morning ( Exam in school)
2) Played piano. About 1 hr (too tired so I gave up)
3) Doodle around
4) Watch first 2 episodes of Prison Break Season 4
5) Random surfing of internet
6) Walk around the house.
6.5) One more episode of prison break
7) Studied about 2 hours of Math. (mainly reading...)
8) Played about 1.5 hours more of piano.

And to think I'm in the middle of prelims.

Crap prison break s4 is so tense. And now it's breaking in, not breaking out. Kinda cool.

I'm getting brain tension and fatigued from playing piano. I'm just too tired and somehow I've been living somewhat a energetically sustainable life using coffee. and pills that supposedly boost your concentration. Without those I think I'll be sleeping like a pig right now.

YESSS. 7th page of La Campanella!

Don't dao me

I suddenly remembered some conversations on Tuesday mainly involving Alan.

Alan : U know...iphone iphone yada yaada..something something
Ty: Ya it's imaginary.
(math was after that)

Collin : The don't know what girl hollow bankai forever one. (talking about Bleach)
Alan: Cannot. Conversation of energy.

Since I'm rather pissed with chem paper 3 I shall attempt to do a quiz which I was tagged to do. It's long over due. but heck.

1. The person who tag/pass you is?
Megan

2. Your relationship with him/her?
Between strangers and friends. Undefined.

3. Your five impression of him/her?
1. Entropic
2. Impetuous
3. Occasionally Inert
4. Whimsical
5. Noob


4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you?
Hmmm. Cannot be disclosed. But not exactly for me though

5. The most memorable thing he/she has said to you?
I can't remember a single thing.

6. If he/she become your lover, you will?
Never will

7. If he/she became your lover, he/she has to improve on?
Lameness

8. If he/she became my enemy, you will?
Be indifferent

9. If he/she became your enemy, the reason will be?
Making me do this quiz

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her is?
Nothing

11. Your overall impression of him/her is?
Is this a summary question?

// there's a break of questions pertaining to the tagger

12. How you think people around you will feel about you?
Inspired by lameness

13. The characters you love of yourself are?
If you mean traits, probably spontaneity.

14. On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are?
Pride. But yet I cling so tightly onto it.

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Myself with hollow bankai.

16. For people who care and like you, say something to them.
Benzaldehyde does not react to Fehlings!

17. Pass this quiz to 10 person that you wish to know how they feel about you.
[Since majority of my friends in PJC do not have blogs, and do not care. They are all busy mugging Statistics now. I shall include only church friends. ]
1) Aaron
2) Tanya
3) Joan
4) Shantelle
5) Samantha
6) Michelle
7) Jasmine
8) Small Dom
9) Wen Yao
10) Vanessa

This is all I could think of (people who have blogs). And somehow most of it are girls.

18. Who is no.6 having a relationship with? (michelle)
I don't think anyone, but I don't know.

19. Is no.9 a male or female? (Wen yao)
male under standard condition of 298K and 1 ATM.

20. If no. 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing? (Jasmine and Vanessa)
Somehow I know the ratio is going to cause problems.

21. What is no. 2 studying about? (Tanya).
I don't know?

22. When was the last time you had a chat with 5? (Sam)
Quite long ago

23. What kind of music band does no.8 like? (Small Dom)
For assumption. Conduction band, valance band and rubber band.

24. Does no. 1 has any siblings? (Aaron)
Crap I don't know. Don't have right?

25. Will you woo no.3? (Joan)
Cotton Wool

26. How abt no.7? (Jasmine)
Same answer applies.

27. Is no.4 Single? (Shantelle)
I don't know.

28. What is the surname of no.5? (Sam)
Lun.

29. What's the hobby of no.10? (Vanessa)
Mugging. >_<

30. Does no. 5 and 9 get along well? (Sam and Wenyao)
I don't know but I think so.

31. Where is no.2 studying at? (Tanya)
scgs.

32. Talk something casually about no. 1. (Aaron)
His name has 2 A's. So when you find the number of possibilities of forming arrangements with his name you get 5! / 2!

33. Where does no.9 live at? (Wenyao)
I KNOW! Singapore!

34. What colour does no. 4 like? (Shantelle)
I don't know.

35. Are no.5 and no.1 best friend? (Aaron and Sam Lun)
Maybe?

36. Does no.1 have any pets? (Aaron)
I don't think so?

37. Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world? (Jasmine)
I haven't seen the whole world.

38. What is no. 6 doing now? (Michelle)
Probably at school?

//end

This quiz is nubbish.
I feel like coming up with my own one. Stay tuned

The horror of the exam condition

If preparedness < difficulty of paper.

Stress will increase.
Time taken for doing any one average question will increase.
->Time constrain increases.
->Number of questions left blank will increase.
->Increase of number of questions left blank will decrease morale.
->Decrease in morale will increase difficulty in processing information.
->Impaired processing will lead to inevitable stupid mistakes and getting tricked.
->Stupid mistakes results in inability to continue a question. (getting stuck).
->Getting stuck increases confusion.
->Confusion further decreases morale.
And the cycle repeats, snowballs. Until you lose all the marks you can.

I lost my organic deductive due to one stupid mistake which snowballed into that whole 7 marks. Stupid Tollen And Fehling, it got me AGAIN.

Beneath the great wall

Tired. Sleepy. Crappy.

Chem tomorrow. I want the hall! air con is so nice.

Oh yes I forgot to blog about what happened yesterday.

Apparently the canal behind house (route which I walk home by) has been blocked by some construction work. Not exactly blocked by they used this barricade to block my house from the canal. (one whole long great wall of PJC). The road is still accessible, just that I can't use it because I have to walk like another 20 minutes to make a big round round the barricades.

By right, the canal behind PJC is not accessible mainly because construction is going on. They blocked the road to the entire path but there was a tiny door for the workers and people involved to go in and out ( no use trapping themselves in right? ). I sneaked in when they are not looking and apparently I set myself off on the path which was half bulldozed. It was a stinky fifteen minutes walk home.

Imagine if you can, I was walking along this pathway which leads to my house. And this pathway is being surrounded by a barricade. Somewhat or another, I expected that there should be another mini door somewhere along the path where I could go to the other end of the barricade and have access to my house. But freaking wrong I turned out to be, there was none.

I had several options. First thought was how long would it take to get across by a detour. Say 15 minutes more? That's is 100% of the initial time, not worth an investment. I begun to contemplate climbing over. seems feasible initially until I realized there were pins on the wooden shelves that support the barricade. It was so intimidating that I let go of that idea.

Then it came to my attention that there was this approx 25 centimeter gap consistently beneath the wall. (it's not barricaded entirely top to base) After all, it wasn't really a full fledged barricade. I could see under it. I tested waters. stuck my whole foot in and it could go in. It was about the height of my crumpler bag standing in average position (average puffiness). My feet could go in, so I assumed by head could fit in. I tested, it could. I started worrying about my butt and shoulders. but apparently I decided to crawl through the tiny gap.

And guess what, I was partially stuck. And then some joggers on the opposite end had priceless expressions and some were waving at me. I looked like a fool but I was determined that I was being creative. And granted, I got through in no time. Within a minute of squeezing. My shoulders did hurt a little. and there was a tiny hole (due to the friction) on my uniform. (the bottom of the barricades are kind of rough).

That was how I saved 15 minutes. It was no easy feat. I'm no skinny man, and definitely I was feeling so good when I crawled through. Sense of accomplishment?

Tomorrow I hope to get transported home. So that I do not have to risk my life walking by an under construction road, and crawling to gain access to my own house.

Priceless memories.

My msn wouldn't sign in for some reason.

I'm really tired.

LALALA

So not good.

Physics I made some stupid errors. Didn't know how to do quite a lot of stuff. >_<

Math was a tough paper. Crap.

Let's bring back the p(x<45)=1.

Fatigued

Last night for some arcane reason I suffered insomnia. I couldn't sleep till 4am.

Crap. Gp was fine, essay had a tough choice between music (again!), and education (which I have stuff to write about). Music (arts in general) is a harder topic, but I think it's going to be boring to write it again. Paper 2 was fine. Crap, I could have gotten full marks for vocab. Summary was heavy and that's so not good. I think, and I hope for a B, at most.

Geog. Well the paper I studied nothing about. Halfway through studying during the break I sorta gave up and went to the piano instead. I thought of taking MC for this paper but end up it turned out to be ok. Do-able, and if I studied, it would have been easy. Hope I can pass. But i don't think so. (likely U though. that always happens, when I never touch my notes at all).

Crap. I'm tired.Sleep deprived.

Isolation mode ends.

Oh no

My full unleashed mode is a surprise kept for A levels. For now, it's about halfway there. Prelims is not even worthy of being a testing ground. Exams force us to study even more, and that is an inevitable fact. I'm finally beginning to understand things which I never did, beginning to dive into the sea of weakness. Trust me, there is much greater energy required to overcome one's hatred, negative energy or repulsion against a particular topic of a subject. For now, with my half baked armor and my broken sword, I charge forward. Whether I return wounded or victorious, I shall stand firm as the battle for now is nothing but a mirage. Broken sword, yes. Maybe an branch from the nearby tree.


Ty. Bankai!

In a few hours

Got to really check my status here. I think I'm just going to flop, falter and fry to the prelims. I was too lazy to study geography. (mainly because I have no notes!), and I have to rely on that 3 hours break before geography paper after GP tomorrow. C'mon, hope I can pass.

I've been flying kites the past 2-3 days. Really no motivated to do any work. I think physics, chem and maths are equally leveled. I wanted to study GP for once but I think I'll be lazy to get my A and settle with a D-B grade. I have vague aims for prelims. I may do well, I may crash and go rock bottom again. Simply because I have no idea how much I've done and how much high these will take me in the hierarchy of grades. I think I should be fine, I hope. After all, crash prelims and worry about A levels.

A levels to prelims. Play an easier game against tougher opponents. Woah this could potentially make it a lot harder.

Remind me

Remind me.

That if I want to be at the same point. I'll have to be first at the same line. And before that, the same plane.

Level me up, please.

resuming the uphill task

Today was well, more productive at night as I attempted virtuosity in physics and I'm getting closer and closer to understanding quantum so yea, that's progress. So basically I had another dose of coffee and right now I am supposed to feel wide awake and energized, but it's effect is wearing off. I finally am able to muster enough determination to get down to do work. The prey is physics.

And finally I'm resuming my voyage on la campanella. A perpetual uphill climb! A piece endued with technical challenges. Albeit, I am going to climb up. It gets progressively challenging, I'm already starting to face some difficult stuff (and real difficult) in the 6th page. 4-5 thrills comes into the picture, and finger independence is being tested to it's limits.

It's the same for everything. I find myself helplessly attracted by challenges. It seems so ironic how the frequency of practice is inversely proportional to the distance from prelims. Wow!

I don't like how the future looks.

Random

What a restless day indeed. I told Larry I won't be going to school for mock math if it rains. And viola it did NOT until the paper ended. (or halfway through it I believe). I've been relying too much on coffee buffs and sugar rushes to survive the days. and the future ahead seem bleak. In the past, one cup of coffee (maybe half) would suffice to keep me high and alive. Now, I require two at least to keep me from falling asleep. I would say this just sucks. Sugar is something I am experimenting right now to the extent that I may contemplate taking red bull before (or into!) exams. I would gain 2 notches in cow sense! I just ate prata with sugar, a jelly which logically speaking is sweet and sugary, a pack of barley (which is sweet too). I'm feeling energized. Anyway back to the point. ah yes I dread LT3 not it's not green when it should be and where's the supply of oxygen (haha) ; but because it violates human rights to make us do tests which could potentially break out necks at the end of one and a half hour. The questions were fine, doable, just that my neck was ridiculously strained afterwards.

Again, I have been watching TED Tv this entire afternoon, it's approaching noon and there's nothing much I have accomplished.

I'm finally going to change my blogskin. Ideas anyone? And my tag board is officially dead. I know I have gone in hiding, but this is too cruel to my tagboard. Right.

And just to end of

When someone tells you thank you, do not, ever ever ever say np because that's mean!

To those who get it, laugh along. To those who took >0.1 second, glad you realized. To those who still don't get it, find a wall nearby.

At null deflection

I have no mood to do anything. I went to school this morning whereby I was supposed to study with Jlam. Yes, physics. The bane of all problems. I do not hate physics that much anymore, just that I found it extremely annoying to have deal with what I consider the more troublesome topics of physics. Whenever I pick physics up, something irks me. It tells me to (for once), go learn your current and d.c circuit. ( which I know absolutely zero about ). then each time I say that, I find myself diverting my attention to another topic. Thus and hence, till today, I have no idea of how to do d.c circuits which may potentially (no pun intended) come out a 10 marker on us. I don't like the idea of circuits, I don't like current that ain't black. I have zero sense about electrical circuitry. Neither do I want to be electrocuted by one.

And I said it, I was supposed. The keyword! Ping bong! Supposed is a great word. I spent my time doodling and eating, and significantly playing the piano. Did I mention there are times when I feel vexed, disorientated and annoyed because of the sound my piano produces. A lot of extra noise from the keys, uneven tone and heavy touch (which makes my hand go numb 20 minutes into revolutionary etude, but it's fine training though). The room makes it even worst. In school, I had this entire hall with space for the sound to amplify, and a grand piano with decent keys (though it gets cranky at time). The grand is still a baby, but the sound it produces is much pleasing to the ears as compared to the one I have at home. (due to all factors, acoustics, cranky mechanics and stuff).

It was irresistible. I think we played one, no two or three hours right Jlam? Trying to studying in the hall by the piano is like trying to slim down while eating ice cream. Bad analogy, but yea you get the point.

I still find myself lost in the world of circuits. Facing one's weakness is certainly something daunting and is no easy feat. I still live by the 'make your weakness your strength' motto. It has worked for me, so far. (hopefully).

Life's pretty meaningless nowadays. I was mentioning that holidays don't feel like holidays. But indeed, mugging is what we are supposed to do now. At November>T>August, we are all fated to do this crap. We're avengers on a tight rope. Again last minute work will save the day.

Somewhere between reality and dreams I like to ponder about the future. Sometimes, the future looks bleak, and sometime it shines. Maybe it's nothing more than a mirage.

Time to doodle away. Till I find some will in any form to study some more.