I am currently considering my options. There are people going iceskating now and Im wondering if I should hop into my dad's car and join them. But if I go, I will most likely end up in Jurong Library borrowing a lame book and read watching the others. I have not recovered from that DEADLY trip wen yao caused me in the Sanctuary on Christmas Eve. My knee caps are still black blue, and it ain't getting any better. Any contact still sends me in frenzied pain and silent shrieks of, well, arghs. How nice it would be to have spontaneous regeneration. pttf...
I am currently quite constantly buffeted by waves of fatigue which cumulated and snowballed from couple of nights of partying. And I heard there were several people coming over here for a countdown tonight. Nubcake man!
I guess in those ancient shows people lie on ice and it heals their internal energy. Perhaps the gelid environment in the ice skating rink will help boost my energy levels, or at least cure me of my eternal fatigue that has plagued me for a very long time.
I will blog more about the past few days and the maelstrom of events, that diluted the line between night & day, sanity and insanity. I am currently laggging horribly now. if you would excuse me, I would
like to change and leave for Jurong east right now.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
The fading heart beat of 2007
It's been some time since Ive blogged. The last one was some random emo, but right now I am going to blog about more, well, hopefully, significant matters. I am sure, our ever sensitive inner ears can now feel the vibes and cries of the fading heart beat of 2007, and alongside, the deadly clings and creaks of machine operated ropes ready to unleash all devilish stored energy and haul us all back to school.
Ouch.
I guess that's one, really ridiculous and farfetched lamearse attempt. But well.
The days that go by, the days that made me feel happy, the days that made me feel sad. 2007 has been a wonderful year I guess. Though it was really a sinusoidal adventure, ups and downs, highs and lows, just like tides. Well, I guess life is just like this. Gained big experience, causing me to level up several levels up the level ladder, and obtain several new abilities on the way. Well, I am not going to spoil what I have installed for the 31st december post. And coincidently and wow-ly, 31st december is my dad's birthday.
Well, Ive been watching this series, Heroes. Which was, well erhm reccomended by some church friends. The theme is well, as it's name suggests, Heroes. People who are special, with unique abilities (some really l33t, some really not very useful, but still, it's cool). and thousand and one complications that revolve around these special abilities. Trust me, this show gets confusing after awhile, and I have been watching it in a probably 500X500 pixel online website which gets me really, well, dizzy after awhile. Not good for the brain, but it's a good show for the intellectual, it makes you think.But still, this show suggests and reinforces (or probably inversely opposes it, depending on how you see it actually) the Evolution theory. (which is so dead wrong). But it's great entertainment, I don't suppose anyone would really believe anything out of such a show. It's like superman or batman, but with a darker, and also, mysterious feel to it. Integrated in this show are other themes like friendship, love, family. A story which tells many stories at one go, with multifarious elements....and a confusing plot. but still, very very very entertaining.
Sometimes, it's just one big mess.
Ecstasy.
I never felt such thrill before. Hearing alone is a pleasure, and yet, exploring is just another totally different thing. My heart yearns for more, the forbidden fruit. And probably something which is still beyond my control.
Fantasie Impromtu.
Ouch.
I guess that's one, really ridiculous and farfetched lamearse attempt. But well.
The days that go by, the days that made me feel happy, the days that made me feel sad. 2007 has been a wonderful year I guess. Though it was really a sinusoidal adventure, ups and downs, highs and lows, just like tides. Well, I guess life is just like this. Gained big experience, causing me to level up several levels up the level ladder, and obtain several new abilities on the way. Well, I am not going to spoil what I have installed for the 31st december post. And coincidently and wow-ly, 31st december is my dad's birthday.
Well, Ive been watching this series, Heroes. Which was, well erhm reccomended by some church friends. The theme is well, as it's name suggests, Heroes. People who are special, with unique abilities (some really l33t, some really not very useful, but still, it's cool). and thousand and one complications that revolve around these special abilities. Trust me, this show gets confusing after awhile, and I have been watching it in a probably 500X500 pixel online website which gets me really, well, dizzy after awhile. Not good for the brain, but it's a good show for the intellectual, it makes you think.But still, this show suggests and reinforces (or probably inversely opposes it, depending on how you see it actually) the Evolution theory. (which is so dead wrong). But it's great entertainment, I don't suppose anyone would really believe anything out of such a show. It's like superman or batman, but with a darker, and also, mysterious feel to it. Integrated in this show are other themes like friendship, love, family. A story which tells many stories at one go, with multifarious elements....and a confusing plot. but still, very very very entertaining.
Sometimes, it's just one big mess.
Ecstasy.
I never felt such thrill before. Hearing alone is a pleasure, and yet, exploring is just another totally different thing. My heart yearns for more, the forbidden fruit. And probably something which is still beyond my control.
Fantasie Impromtu.
Monday, December 24, 2007
And once again, Emo
Actually, I would usually refrain from posting such posts. But I am Emo right now, and the worst part, I have no idea why! And perhaps, one main task of this post is to explore and find out why and how I am exactly feeling emo.
It feels as if everything I do, seems totally boring, and meaningless. I find no excitement in anything. I find myself very alone, very unaccompanied and even with respect to things I do. There is nothing to excite me, there is nothing to make me feel entertained. And once again, I find myself lacking the resolution and strength to induldge in self-entertainment. Perhaps words can never express feelings because words are merely the definition of feelings and ironically, definitions only pinpoint but never elaborate a feeling. They distinguish. But in my case now, sadly, I think searching for it's definition will be a good enough victory.
All of a sudden, I feel I am on a different frequency as everyone around me, and even the things I do.
I can't help it but feel very detached from everything. From people, from the things I do, the things I enjoy, my family. Why is it that I feel such a draconian sense of detachment. Why do I feel so unhappy doing the things I usually do. I really have no understanding at all.
It seems like I am in a state where I dread everything, even the things which I used to enjoy. And even things that make me sad, are on equal standing with things that make me feel happy.
And seriously, am I again, on a mood swing. I am not particularly upset over anything, nothing's bothering me.
Maybe it's just my happy program in me not functioning well, and it takes time to be back up again.....
It feels as if everything I do, seems totally boring, and meaningless. I find no excitement in anything. I find myself very alone, very unaccompanied and even with respect to things I do. There is nothing to excite me, there is nothing to make me feel entertained. And once again, I find myself lacking the resolution and strength to induldge in self-entertainment. Perhaps words can never express feelings because words are merely the definition of feelings and ironically, definitions only pinpoint but never elaborate a feeling. They distinguish. But in my case now, sadly, I think searching for it's definition will be a good enough victory.
All of a sudden, I feel I am on a different frequency as everyone around me, and even the things I do.
I can't help it but feel very detached from everything. From people, from the things I do, the things I enjoy, my family. Why is it that I feel such a draconian sense of detachment. Why do I feel so unhappy doing the things I usually do. I really have no understanding at all.
It seems like I am in a state where I dread everything, even the things which I used to enjoy. And even things that make me sad, are on equal standing with things that make me feel happy.
And seriously, am I again, on a mood swing. I am not particularly upset over anything, nothing's bothering me.
Maybe it's just my happy program in me not functioning well, and it takes time to be back up again.....
Sunday, December 23, 2007
One big mess
A maelstrom of events happened over the past few days, or rather one and a half weeks. I believe I never blogged about the Youth camp, as well as the mission trip. But bear in mind, what I will be posting in this post will be Christian related, and for people out there who do not like reading such stuff, you can choose not to read. but if you still want to find out how much fun I had in camp and Thailand, you can read on.
Draconian fatigue is settling in from this long endeavour, but still I am persevering, keeping alive and typing this. And probably my frangible concentration will cause all parts of my body to enter standby mode except my fingers which will go on frenzy autopilot and type rubbish. So, please, give me at least 1 night of sleep before I revisit my blog, and do a quality check.
I would first like to bring across a point that, though camp and trip was both different events (and totally different events, though their theme had various obvious intersects), they were both not connected by anything close to a break. I only had a couple of hours of rest at home, (not sleep, but just a short nap), after camp and then I had to do the packing of my luggage. I know others, Qi heng, nic all had it worst. And perhaps I should feel guilty for complaining so much.
First and foremost, camp. Youth camp is something that I was looking forward to, like since the time I was in Europe, I anticipated, and was pretty excited. I knew about several games, my group members like 1-2 days before, and I was delighted because I knew my group leader, Dom as well as Wei Song is in my group, I felt safe and sound. I don't recall much but here I am going to give a brief overview. As well as a general rate of this camp.
Camp Site 2/10
Perhaps I have been pampered and spoilt by the likes of kuo chuan presbyterian (our camp site last year), this year's venue was totally horrible. If not for the massive and extensive area cleaning efforts that me and some other people had been doing on pre-camp day, the area would be alot worst, and even after all that cleaning efforts, there were still rampant complains and sighs of dissatisfaction. Horrible camp site. Toilet was one stink bomb, bathing was a chore (and most people, I believe, generally felt hesitant about bathing). The school was rather small, congested and lacked pretty facilities. In addition, it was rundown and I believe that there aren't really much schools worst than this. Dunearn secondary, was a horrible choice. Probably a good, decent price, but still, the camp site plays a big role in Camp experience. But looking on the brighter side, it is in the most horrific, the peak of dirtiness and the stepping out of the general comfort zone that bonds people together. Despite the lack of a nice conducive environment, I believe the camp went well, and that is why it didn't get a big fat zero, and once again I believe I have been rather harsh on this segment of my overview. The hall, was rather decent and cosy, in my opinion, though.
Games/Activities 9/10
I would say that this time round, I am rather impressed by the games. They were rather creative and they did a good job in making sure sporty powerhouses don't dominate, giving the less enthuiastic or atheletic to excel. I remember last year where there were a rampant of games like captain ball (which IMO, sucks). The games this year were more intellectual-based, several puzzle-like stuff, or involves getting dirty (which IMO, is not that bad, and ironically, adds to the fun). I don't want to list games here, but there were games which I really enjoyed by self, and there weren't really much sucky/lousy games around. Overall, the activities were generally interesting and usually keeps me motivated throughout the camp. The 2nd day we went to Ubin for an adventure, it rained like crazy. The sky spammed us with rain, but still, I believe that it was in such harsh conditions that people bond. Dirty, dirty, but still, fun, fun.
Sermon 3/10
I know some are going to disagree with me on this. But personally I found the speaker very poor. I am not refering to content of the speaker, but more of style. It hurts my ears and mind to hear someone talking like a TEACHER, or worst still, a principal. I could even remember the person rephrasing a point many times, like we're little children or kids in a school. It is totally annoying to hear a sermon like they're instructions, or rather, in such a commanding or authoritative tone. Perhaps this is what I feel because I know of a teacher that talks exactly like the speaker and it was a great turn off for me.
The theme this time was evangelism, and I believe is one aspect that is lacking in most of us. It was useful but still, there was a couple of other talks in YF, or other activities and seminars about Evangelism which I have attended and alot seemed so repititive to me.
This is my point of view, perhaps all in all, this was the most sensitive part to comment about.
People 6/10
I wouldn't say I am greatly impressed by my fellow group members. My general comment was "okay, good enough to get by the few days". Though there is a certain member of my group which I found disturbingly irritating after awhile, the rest were okay. Dom was a great leader, but could be greater. He lead the team well but I think he didn't really do much in terms of bonding the team together. At the end, the group was, I believe, not united, not at all, I believe. Most of us were just being together in a group and co-operating because we know it was just a short 4 day camp. I don't see much interaction after camp (or maybe it was because I was away, overseas). I see other groups facing the same problem too, the lack of enthuaism.
X-factor 4/10
This camp totally lacked the x-factor. I wasn't touched at all, it didn't feel exciting. It didn't keep me thinking "ah it was a great camp". My most positve comment I ever given was a "not bad". And I believe this camp certainly lacked alot of factors that could make a camp feel successful. I believe the lingering effect of camp spirit, group spirit is what constitutes the "x-factor", along with an array of other ingredients that varies from perception to perception. This x-factor could have been way worst, without "heart of worship" which was the last, but most satisfying event.
Adding on, the games and activities, though really satisfactory, did add an immense toll on the health, and fatigue levels of the people, which had severe effects on people. This caused us to be restless, and generally unaatentive during sermon and during the final "sharing session".
Sacrifice, perhaps.
Overall, I am going to do a no-brainer sum up of scores 24/50. Could have been better, an E grade for camp this year. Though I know that such things aren't really arithimetrically measurable. I believe, that it was a passable (as the score suggests).
I will blog about my time in Thailand another time, my concentration died on me.
Time to rest. Ahuu
Draconian fatigue is settling in from this long endeavour, but still I am persevering, keeping alive and typing this. And probably my frangible concentration will cause all parts of my body to enter standby mode except my fingers which will go on frenzy autopilot and type rubbish. So, please, give me at least 1 night of sleep before I revisit my blog, and do a quality check.
I would first like to bring across a point that, though camp and trip was both different events (and totally different events, though their theme had various obvious intersects), they were both not connected by anything close to a break. I only had a couple of hours of rest at home, (not sleep, but just a short nap), after camp and then I had to do the packing of my luggage. I know others, Qi heng, nic all had it worst. And perhaps I should feel guilty for complaining so much.
First and foremost, camp. Youth camp is something that I was looking forward to, like since the time I was in Europe, I anticipated, and was pretty excited. I knew about several games, my group members like 1-2 days before, and I was delighted because I knew my group leader, Dom as well as Wei Song is in my group, I felt safe and sound. I don't recall much but here I am going to give a brief overview. As well as a general rate of this camp.
Camp Site 2/10
Perhaps I have been pampered and spoilt by the likes of kuo chuan presbyterian (our camp site last year), this year's venue was totally horrible. If not for the massive and extensive area cleaning efforts that me and some other people had been doing on pre-camp day, the area would be alot worst, and even after all that cleaning efforts, there were still rampant complains and sighs of dissatisfaction. Horrible camp site. Toilet was one stink bomb, bathing was a chore (and most people, I believe, generally felt hesitant about bathing). The school was rather small, congested and lacked pretty facilities. In addition, it was rundown and I believe that there aren't really much schools worst than this. Dunearn secondary, was a horrible choice. Probably a good, decent price, but still, the camp site plays a big role in Camp experience. But looking on the brighter side, it is in the most horrific, the peak of dirtiness and the stepping out of the general comfort zone that bonds people together. Despite the lack of a nice conducive environment, I believe the camp went well, and that is why it didn't get a big fat zero, and once again I believe I have been rather harsh on this segment of my overview. The hall, was rather decent and cosy, in my opinion, though.
Games/Activities 9/10
I would say that this time round, I am rather impressed by the games. They were rather creative and they did a good job in making sure sporty powerhouses don't dominate, giving the less enthuiastic or atheletic to excel. I remember last year where there were a rampant of games like captain ball (which IMO, sucks). The games this year were more intellectual-based, several puzzle-like stuff, or involves getting dirty (which IMO, is not that bad, and ironically, adds to the fun). I don't want to list games here, but there were games which I really enjoyed by self, and there weren't really much sucky/lousy games around. Overall, the activities were generally interesting and usually keeps me motivated throughout the camp. The 2nd day we went to Ubin for an adventure, it rained like crazy. The sky spammed us with rain, but still, I believe that it was in such harsh conditions that people bond. Dirty, dirty, but still, fun, fun.
Sermon 3/10
I know some are going to disagree with me on this. But personally I found the speaker very poor. I am not refering to content of the speaker, but more of style. It hurts my ears and mind to hear someone talking like a TEACHER, or worst still, a principal. I could even remember the person rephrasing a point many times, like we're little children or kids in a school. It is totally annoying to hear a sermon like they're instructions, or rather, in such a commanding or authoritative tone. Perhaps this is what I feel because I know of a teacher that talks exactly like the speaker and it was a great turn off for me.
The theme this time was evangelism, and I believe is one aspect that is lacking in most of us. It was useful but still, there was a couple of other talks in YF, or other activities and seminars about Evangelism which I have attended and alot seemed so repititive to me.
This is my point of view, perhaps all in all, this was the most sensitive part to comment about.
People 6/10
I wouldn't say I am greatly impressed by my fellow group members. My general comment was "okay, good enough to get by the few days". Though there is a certain member of my group which I found disturbingly irritating after awhile, the rest were okay. Dom was a great leader, but could be greater. He lead the team well but I think he didn't really do much in terms of bonding the team together. At the end, the group was, I believe, not united, not at all, I believe. Most of us were just being together in a group and co-operating because we know it was just a short 4 day camp. I don't see much interaction after camp (or maybe it was because I was away, overseas). I see other groups facing the same problem too, the lack of enthuaism.
X-factor 4/10
This camp totally lacked the x-factor. I wasn't touched at all, it didn't feel exciting. It didn't keep me thinking "ah it was a great camp". My most positve comment I ever given was a "not bad". And I believe this camp certainly lacked alot of factors that could make a camp feel successful. I believe the lingering effect of camp spirit, group spirit is what constitutes the "x-factor", along with an array of other ingredients that varies from perception to perception. This x-factor could have been way worst, without "heart of worship" which was the last, but most satisfying event.
Adding on, the games and activities, though really satisfactory, did add an immense toll on the health, and fatigue levels of the people, which had severe effects on people. This caused us to be restless, and generally unaatentive during sermon and during the final "sharing session".
Sacrifice, perhaps.
Overall, I am going to do a no-brainer sum up of scores 24/50. Could have been better, an E grade for camp this year. Though I know that such things aren't really arithimetrically measurable. I believe, that it was a passable (as the score suggests).
I will blog about my time in Thailand another time, my concentration died on me.
Time to rest. Ahuu
been away
Ive been away in Thailand, Chiang mai for about 7 days. Again, another disappearing act. And this time I am back not to blog about it. As my experience is a very personal one, if you wish to find out, please ask me about it, personally. It is not any holiday, not a field trip, but a mission trip.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Bugging me not
Ants has been invading my room, bugging me. To that extent where I cannot leave edibles lying around for even a few seconds. The ants, which track that object (which is most likely edible, to us humans), and then sprint there with great haste. I never knew ants move so fast. Or were they always in stealth mode and remain invisible till some food is being detected. I am more inclined to believe in the former.
I never liked ants, but these few days, when my room was no better than a garbage dump, I have learned to led a life, one that is and being okay with ants. Now I wonder why my mum will shriek and scream at the top of her voice whenver she sees an army of ants invading one corner of the table. That was my first and initial series of reactions, but I think Im already numb to seeing such a disgusting scene. Disgusting, afterall, is only a matte of perception.
Another big mistake. I forgot, I spilled Coke on my Zinc bag on the plane and when I reached home, I carelessly placed the bag on the bed. And then, the bed got infested with ants. And, and, I slept on that bed. There were at least hundreds of them to the extent that you could see them clearly from afar. And I slept peacefully without much of a disturbance at night. Of course, if I see an ant trying to invade my privacy or getting too close, I will not hesistate to PWN it. I slept well, none of them tried to disturb me. Perhaps, I am too unsweet?
Even seeing a platoon of ants crawling all about the table, sometimes it amazes me why I can stand there calmly, and decide whether to do something about it. More often than not, nowadays, I just leave them alone. So what? They're just insects, They don't harm. I can live with them. Why is it human instinct to go HOOHHA about these little creatures and their first standard procedure is to grab a tissue and go on a killing spree. I just let them be, but the downside is, they don't go away on their own, don't they?
So the point here is. Why are people so scared of ants? Red ants or those that bite are a different story. I think ants are only as dirty as our floor. They have probably microsophic shit. And definitely not worth getting a sore throat over...
I think I am going insane. I find myself seeing an "ant invasion" as something spectacular. On a scale of well, as spectacular as lets see, a shooting star perhaps?
Speaking about sore throat, the reason for this ant invasion was a sweet (strepsils), which was left opened in my pencil case. Yes, I have uneaten and unwrapped sweets in my pencil case....And I wonder why. Man, im dirty.
Okay, enough of all these ant rubbish. Insects don't bug me as much as what I am going to narrate this morning.
I slept late last night so I wanted to sleep in this morning. Well, it was cooling, partially sunny, dark clouds I presume, and it was about to rain. I was tucked in my blanket, and there were no ants, (mind you), and everything was so fine, I was not emo, my mood was in perfect synch with all the conducively relaxing environment. I was half-awake, half-asleep. Imagine if you can, you're sleepy, but you're not exactly very sleepy. You want to sleep, but you can be awake at thi moment. The feeling of just wanting to stay in bed and enjoy and savour every moment of keeping your eyes closed, and thinking about nothing. Priceless.
And then...
I recieved a call from this retard survey company. I thought it was an important call or someone I know. She spoke in Chinese, (which irritated me futhur. it sounded china-ish to me). I hanged up immediately. I turned away from my phone. And then few seconds later, my phone burst into eccentric vibrations.
It was no survey company. It was a girl's voice. I thought it was someone I knew. And the person looked for someone called Tommy.
The only Tommy I have encountered in my life in fiction or reality is either a 1)TOY or 2) A 1st generation power ranger.
I highly suspect a prank call, but it didn't seem like. It was more likely a wrong dail. Great, several minutes of precious sleep gone. It's not the time that mattered. It was the mood, atmosphere which was disrupted. Damnit. They stole my tranquility. And such conditions of the heart and mind, cannot be compensated.
You see, there are thousand and one things that can be more irritating than ants. In this case...I didn't blame the person that called the wrong number, I really felt super irritated by the survey. I know it is unthinkable to be still sleeping at like say 11am. But please, for once, consider that some people might be having a jet lag!!!
Anyway it's weekends but it ain't making any difference. Im craving for some tennis and the weather is actually making me feel sleepy and tired.
I'll blog again later, when more comes to my mind. If you noticed, I typed this post in a very heck-care manner, because I am actually feeling exponentially more sleepy every second. And perhaps at a power of 3. I will collasp soon.
I never liked ants, but these few days, when my room was no better than a garbage dump, I have learned to led a life, one that is and being okay with ants. Now I wonder why my mum will shriek and scream at the top of her voice whenver she sees an army of ants invading one corner of the table. That was my first and initial series of reactions, but I think Im already numb to seeing such a disgusting scene. Disgusting, afterall, is only a matte of perception.
Another big mistake. I forgot, I spilled Coke on my Zinc bag on the plane and when I reached home, I carelessly placed the bag on the bed. And then, the bed got infested with ants. And, and, I slept on that bed. There were at least hundreds of them to the extent that you could see them clearly from afar. And I slept peacefully without much of a disturbance at night. Of course, if I see an ant trying to invade my privacy or getting too close, I will not hesistate to PWN it. I slept well, none of them tried to disturb me. Perhaps, I am too unsweet?
Even seeing a platoon of ants crawling all about the table, sometimes it amazes me why I can stand there calmly, and decide whether to do something about it. More often than not, nowadays, I just leave them alone. So what? They're just insects, They don't harm. I can live with them. Why is it human instinct to go HOOHHA about these little creatures and their first standard procedure is to grab a tissue and go on a killing spree. I just let them be, but the downside is, they don't go away on their own, don't they?
So the point here is. Why are people so scared of ants? Red ants or those that bite are a different story. I think ants are only as dirty as our floor. They have probably microsophic shit. And definitely not worth getting a sore throat over...
I think I am going insane. I find myself seeing an "ant invasion" as something spectacular. On a scale of well, as spectacular as lets see, a shooting star perhaps?
Speaking about sore throat, the reason for this ant invasion was a sweet (strepsils), which was left opened in my pencil case. Yes, I have uneaten and unwrapped sweets in my pencil case....And I wonder why. Man, im dirty.
Okay, enough of all these ant rubbish. Insects don't bug me as much as what I am going to narrate this morning.
I slept late last night so I wanted to sleep in this morning. Well, it was cooling, partially sunny, dark clouds I presume, and it was about to rain. I was tucked in my blanket, and there were no ants, (mind you), and everything was so fine, I was not emo, my mood was in perfect synch with all the conducively relaxing environment. I was half-awake, half-asleep. Imagine if you can, you're sleepy, but you're not exactly very sleepy. You want to sleep, but you can be awake at thi moment. The feeling of just wanting to stay in bed and enjoy and savour every moment of keeping your eyes closed, and thinking about nothing. Priceless.
And then...
I recieved a call from this retard survey company. I thought it was an important call or someone I know. She spoke in Chinese, (which irritated me futhur. it sounded china-ish to me). I hanged up immediately. I turned away from my phone. And then few seconds later, my phone burst into eccentric vibrations.
It was no survey company. It was a girl's voice. I thought it was someone I knew. And the person looked for someone called Tommy.
The only Tommy I have encountered in my life in fiction or reality is either a 1)TOY or 2) A 1st generation power ranger.
I highly suspect a prank call, but it didn't seem like. It was more likely a wrong dail. Great, several minutes of precious sleep gone. It's not the time that mattered. It was the mood, atmosphere which was disrupted. Damnit. They stole my tranquility. And such conditions of the heart and mind, cannot be compensated.
You see, there are thousand and one things that can be more irritating than ants. In this case...I didn't blame the person that called the wrong number, I really felt super irritated by the survey. I know it is unthinkable to be still sleeping at like say 11am. But please, for once, consider that some people might be having a jet lag!!!
Anyway it's weekends but it ain't making any difference. Im craving for some tennis and the weather is actually making me feel sleepy and tired.
I'll blog again later, when more comes to my mind. If you noticed, I typed this post in a very heck-care manner, because I am actually feeling exponentially more sleepy every second. And perhaps at a power of 3. I will collasp soon.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Opposing nature
t's 2:22am. and it feels so afternoon right here, within me. Even if I wanted, I can't sleep. Jet lag is really horrible. You know you should be sleeping, yet you can't. And then you have to indulge in really time wasting activities (or rather, stallers), to keep you company till 'bed time', which is, ironically, now.
Okay, so Ive had enough of Dota, had enough of surfing the net, had enough of blogging (ironically, once again), had enough of almost everything and had a very satisfying dinner of Frog Leg and Rice with fab chilli sauce, (at 9pm, which is like lunch to me, yum yum). Even if I wanted, I can't go on the piano because I would be seriously and horribly disturbing to neighbours....
And then.
*poof*, i got the most insane, magical, awesome idea. I was kinda feeling emotional (and I would stress that emotional and emo are defined pretty differently). Started to pick up a drawing block and sketch. I drew 4 emo pieces. And then, I crumbled all of them. Wrote abit of poem on it, and prose. I guess it's a good way to vent our emotional stress and pressure bottled in within. Drawing, and art, is really a good way to spend time, as well, as relax. Though ironically, I find myself concentrating when drawing or sketching.
Then, I did something stupid...
I drew myself.
Of course, with a mirror.
I wonder how much resemblence there is, but there certainly is (according to people Ive asked). You be the judge. I am maladroit at expressing myself with pens and pencils, seriously. but still, I believe I managed to produce something decent for a first timer. I didn't draw those pimples and unshaved hair though. (who would! lol).
I tried sketching Tayye's face, and i Failed SO HORRIBLY, then I am too embarassed to post the picture here.
I guess I feel so influenced. Art is actually very fun, all sorts. Literature, poems, music, drawing, sketching all of them. It's an endeavour, and exploration in the cave of emotions. If music is what emotions sound like, then art is what they look like. But that is for abstract art, I have not reached a level to appreciate such art. But still, I feel so inspired.
And did I mention there was this visit to Picaso's museum at Barcelona. Fab, I can only say fab. He could even draw the transparency of a wedding dress and accurate paintings of the light's reflections. What can I say, genius. I stood before that gigantic painting, in awe. I was "oh my gosh" how did he do that? that guy, the way he saw the world, his eyes, are not normal.
Of course, we ordinary human beings, and of course, like me, someone with no flare for art at all, no talent in it (sighs), will never be able to experience as an inhuman and magnificant perceptions or what I would call "an eye to decompose what we see and build them back again on paper". That is so brillant, it's like magic, or rather visual alchemy. How could some people even do this? Perhaps one would have to take a look at the picture itself to do it. I don't believe such talent is learnable.
And yes, I did chance upon a documentry on the plane, about cellphones. Or rather, more commonly known as our HPs. You know what, the radiation from our cellphones when we talk on our hps are very hazardous. A employee whose job was to test mobile handsets developed a brain tumour after 3 months of work. To add on, the tumour was developed at where the mobile phone was actually most frequently used. I didn't catch the whole show, because of the depth of it (it was complicated to my weak, sleepy mind in the middle of a 15 hour flight, mind you). I was taken aback. I knew it was harmful, well, I thought to a small extent, but headaches could be developed due to overuse of our handphones. Im not talking about SMSing, smsing is probably harmless (and guys do take note, I think there is certain amount of damage receiving too much msg with handphone in our pants, Im serious), taking one or two calls aren't going to give you cancer. But i guess calls that extent to hours, could be cut down. And i seriously worry for people who spend most of the time on the phone, and worst, on the handphone.
And still, I have no solid evidence, you want, ask the experts. I am conveying the gist of what is trying to be conveyed. Don't take my words for it, they may be inaccurate. but still, this is what I have gathered.
I know this is slightly random. I would like some Gp-imbal freak, Engyian, Wenpu, whoever, to answer my question in prose format or gp-styled essays. Though I do think this genre of questions are very unthinkable for exams. But still, here it is, "Is being emotional nessecarily good or bad for a person in modern society". Attempt it please. But drop me a note if you think there is something to clarify about this question.
And did I say something about being emotional just now. Emotional versus Emo. To me, (I have my own array of strange, incongrous definitions, so bear with it). Emotional, is being overwhelmed by emotions, both in positive and negative context, Yet emo, is being overwhelmed by only Bitter, negative, sad emotions. Feeling emo, involves matters, for example, regret, hate, bitterness. While emotional, can be just be feeling nostalgically emotional, slightly melancholic, or it might be bittersweet. This is how I define these, and so when I say emotional, I am not going to drop dead into my bed to cry, it's more of sitting by the window, sipping some coffee and glazing into the horizon. But emo, makes me feel like diving into my bed, sinking my head into the pillow and sulk, sulk sulk, till I get tired of it. Either way, it's an invasion of emotions.
Somethings it makes me ponder. For example, one thing brought up by my piano teacher. Why is it that these hands BELONG to us, but they don't listen to us, they don't obey our instructions. It's the same with sports, all sorts. Why is it that this body, which belongs to us, which shells our souls, which lives with us, are not 100% under our control. Why is it even our brain, mind and heart betray us? Emotions, come into the picture here.
Most crimes, mistakes, happen because we are unable to control ourselves. In the case of manslaughter, it might be the failure to control rage. In the case of murder, it is the unability to restraint and control our mind from the most devilish thoughts. Throughout our lives, growing up, we learn to control our emotions. Infact, we have to.
In the house of emotions, Anger, and love, are probably neighbours. (they cause alot problems) More often than not, majority of the people are able to control their anger, they do feel anger, but yet they are able to refrain themselves from doing something stupid. This is because anger has visible, and REAL consequences. But as for love, people go ahead with their mistakes because the consequence are less obvious, but scars as deeply as the former.
If we can control our anger, why not love?
I have come to a conclusion, love, just like other emotions, anger, pride, hatred, happiness are all animalistic. They radiate from the core of our human nature, and our hearts. But the challenge is controlling them, oppressing them and maniupilating them to suit us and for the greatest benefit of ourselves. The cause of the thousand and one problems around us is the failure to control our emotions.
Therefore, Love is a choice. The reason why people cannot get out, or people fall deeper in, is because they keep telling themselves that they like the person. If we perserve and tell ourselves otherwise, the feelings will go away with it. Our brain works alongside our heart. An earthquake in the heart will cause tremors in the brain and vice versa. (but still, actually, both sources of feelings and thoughts come from the same source, but our mind is soooo adept at confusing us, but this makes me wonder who they are confusing, infact, they're confusing themselves) Oh wow.
And them, if problems can be so easily solved by digging and solving from the root of the problem itself, then life would be bliss and happy. but it makes me ponder again, what is the end of this ultimate "emotional control". Will we become robots? or is even perfection in this aspect totally impossible. And we would melt just like a space shuttle far from even having hopes of getting closer to the sun.
It's really a challenge, to think, and to introspect from a third person's perspective. That is virtually impossible, but yet the solution to thousand and one problems. And once again, introspection, from a third person's point of view, is another serious oxymoron.
But still, it makes me wonder again. Sometimes it is so true that we look at ourselves as if we don't exist. From a third person's perspective. When you look back, the you, is never you, it's like someone else which you have taken over. I would make a very provoking point here, are we ourselves at only this second. We constantly change, change, change.
And once again, perhaps emotional discipline could be the solution to many of our soceity's problems.
Well said, but it is indeed an extremely uphill task to carry out this 'emotional discipline" even to the slightest extent.
Ive been talking too much
1646 word blog post. congrats
Okay, so Ive had enough of Dota, had enough of surfing the net, had enough of blogging (ironically, once again), had enough of almost everything and had a very satisfying dinner of Frog Leg and Rice with fab chilli sauce, (at 9pm, which is like lunch to me, yum yum). Even if I wanted, I can't go on the piano because I would be seriously and horribly disturbing to neighbours....
And then.
*poof*, i got the most insane, magical, awesome idea. I was kinda feeling emotional (and I would stress that emotional and emo are defined pretty differently). Started to pick up a drawing block and sketch. I drew 4 emo pieces. And then, I crumbled all of them. Wrote abit of poem on it, and prose. I guess it's a good way to vent our emotional stress and pressure bottled in within. Drawing, and art, is really a good way to spend time, as well, as relax. Though ironically, I find myself concentrating when drawing or sketching.
Then, I did something stupid...
I drew myself.
Of course, with a mirror.
I wonder how much resemblence there is, but there certainly is (according to people Ive asked). You be the judge. I am maladroit at expressing myself with pens and pencils, seriously. but still, I believe I managed to produce something decent for a first timer. I didn't draw those pimples and unshaved hair though. (who would! lol).
I tried sketching Tayye's face, and i Failed SO HORRIBLY, then I am too embarassed to post the picture here.
I guess I feel so influenced. Art is actually very fun, all sorts. Literature, poems, music, drawing, sketching all of them. It's an endeavour, and exploration in the cave of emotions. If music is what emotions sound like, then art is what they look like. But that is for abstract art, I have not reached a level to appreciate such art. But still, I feel so inspired.
And did I mention there was this visit to Picaso's museum at Barcelona. Fab, I can only say fab. He could even draw the transparency of a wedding dress and accurate paintings of the light's reflections. What can I say, genius. I stood before that gigantic painting, in awe. I was "oh my gosh" how did he do that? that guy, the way he saw the world, his eyes, are not normal.
Of course, we ordinary human beings, and of course, like me, someone with no flare for art at all, no talent in it (sighs), will never be able to experience as an inhuman and magnificant perceptions or what I would call "an eye to decompose what we see and build them back again on paper". That is so brillant, it's like magic, or rather visual alchemy. How could some people even do this? Perhaps one would have to take a look at the picture itself to do it. I don't believe such talent is learnable.
And yes, I did chance upon a documentry on the plane, about cellphones. Or rather, more commonly known as our HPs. You know what, the radiation from our cellphones when we talk on our hps are very hazardous. A employee whose job was to test mobile handsets developed a brain tumour after 3 months of work. To add on, the tumour was developed at where the mobile phone was actually most frequently used. I didn't catch the whole show, because of the depth of it (it was complicated to my weak, sleepy mind in the middle of a 15 hour flight, mind you). I was taken aback. I knew it was harmful, well, I thought to a small extent, but headaches could be developed due to overuse of our handphones. Im not talking about SMSing, smsing is probably harmless (and guys do take note, I think there is certain amount of damage receiving too much msg with handphone in our pants, Im serious), taking one or two calls aren't going to give you cancer. But i guess calls that extent to hours, could be cut down. And i seriously worry for people who spend most of the time on the phone, and worst, on the handphone.
And still, I have no solid evidence, you want, ask the experts. I am conveying the gist of what is trying to be conveyed. Don't take my words for it, they may be inaccurate. but still, this is what I have gathered.
I know this is slightly random. I would like some Gp-imbal freak, Engyian, Wenpu, whoever, to answer my question in prose format or gp-styled essays. Though I do think this genre of questions are very unthinkable for exams. But still, here it is, "Is being emotional nessecarily good or bad for a person in modern society". Attempt it please. But drop me a note if you think there is something to clarify about this question.
And did I say something about being emotional just now. Emotional versus Emo. To me, (I have my own array of strange, incongrous definitions, so bear with it). Emotional, is being overwhelmed by emotions, both in positive and negative context, Yet emo, is being overwhelmed by only Bitter, negative, sad emotions. Feeling emo, involves matters, for example, regret, hate, bitterness. While emotional, can be just be feeling nostalgically emotional, slightly melancholic, or it might be bittersweet. This is how I define these, and so when I say emotional, I am not going to drop dead into my bed to cry, it's more of sitting by the window, sipping some coffee and glazing into the horizon. But emo, makes me feel like diving into my bed, sinking my head into the pillow and sulk, sulk sulk, till I get tired of it. Either way, it's an invasion of emotions.
Somethings it makes me ponder. For example, one thing brought up by my piano teacher. Why is it that these hands BELONG to us, but they don't listen to us, they don't obey our instructions. It's the same with sports, all sorts. Why is it that this body, which belongs to us, which shells our souls, which lives with us, are not 100% under our control. Why is it even our brain, mind and heart betray us? Emotions, come into the picture here.
Most crimes, mistakes, happen because we are unable to control ourselves. In the case of manslaughter, it might be the failure to control rage. In the case of murder, it is the unability to restraint and control our mind from the most devilish thoughts. Throughout our lives, growing up, we learn to control our emotions. Infact, we have to.
In the house of emotions, Anger, and love, are probably neighbours. (they cause alot problems) More often than not, majority of the people are able to control their anger, they do feel anger, but yet they are able to refrain themselves from doing something stupid. This is because anger has visible, and REAL consequences. But as for love, people go ahead with their mistakes because the consequence are less obvious, but scars as deeply as the former.
If we can control our anger, why not love?
I have come to a conclusion, love, just like other emotions, anger, pride, hatred, happiness are all animalistic. They radiate from the core of our human nature, and our hearts. But the challenge is controlling them, oppressing them and maniupilating them to suit us and for the greatest benefit of ourselves. The cause of the thousand and one problems around us is the failure to control our emotions.
Therefore, Love is a choice. The reason why people cannot get out, or people fall deeper in, is because they keep telling themselves that they like the person. If we perserve and tell ourselves otherwise, the feelings will go away with it. Our brain works alongside our heart. An earthquake in the heart will cause tremors in the brain and vice versa. (but still, actually, both sources of feelings and thoughts come from the same source, but our mind is soooo adept at confusing us, but this makes me wonder who they are confusing, infact, they're confusing themselves) Oh wow.
And them, if problems can be so easily solved by digging and solving from the root of the problem itself, then life would be bliss and happy. but it makes me ponder again, what is the end of this ultimate "emotional control". Will we become robots? or is even perfection in this aspect totally impossible. And we would melt just like a space shuttle far from even having hopes of getting closer to the sun.
It's really a challenge, to think, and to introspect from a third person's perspective. That is virtually impossible, but yet the solution to thousand and one problems. And once again, introspection, from a third person's point of view, is another serious oxymoron.
But still, it makes me wonder again. Sometimes it is so true that we look at ourselves as if we don't exist. From a third person's perspective. When you look back, the you, is never you, it's like someone else which you have taken over. I would make a very provoking point here, are we ourselves at only this second. We constantly change, change, change.
And once again, perhaps emotional discipline could be the solution to many of our soceity's problems.
Well said, but it is indeed an extremely uphill task to carry out this 'emotional discipline" even to the slightest extent.
Ive been talking too much
1646 word blog post. congrats
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Been some time
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
-> "The person who created this survey is a retard"
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
As if it will ever enter cyber space...
3. What was the last thing you watched on TV?
News in Spain, and again, in Spain.
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
Oh 2:33Pm noon.
*slaps myself* im in SG.
5. Now look at the clock. What’s the actual time?
9:34pm
Woo 1 minute passed.
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Fan spinning. And churning lots of air along with it. But I still feel warm.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Erhm. To play badminton today.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
The piano->the stairs->my room
9. What are you wearing?
Space suit
Shirt and pants.
10. Did you dream last night?
I don't remember anything.
12. What is on the walls of the room you’re in?
Gravity! get it gravity! If you mean the floors, then it's a different story.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Your face perhaps?
14. What do you think of this quiz?
Stupidity killed the cat, but it won't kill me. :p
15. What was the last film you saw?
I don't think movies works using film anymore.
16. If you become a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I don't know. Depends on the depth of the keyword here-"multi". Either way, I don't think I have much to buy. I will feed all the beggars along the streets. (of course, geniune ones).
17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
I can't believe this survey is talking to me. WOhoo.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Newton's laws. Wohoo.
19. Do you like to dance?
Nope.
20. George Bush?
Im neutral.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl. What would you name her?
Sodium Hydroxide
I seriously don't know? I like Jpn names but that depends on my future wife, because I don't make the decision alone.
22. Imagine your first child is a boy. What would you name him?
Zzzzzzzz Potassium Hydroxide then.
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Nope. If you travel more, you will realize how good SG is.
And there are stupid whinners that complain about SG, go see the world.
24. What do you want God to say when you reach the pearly white gates?
No comment
25. 6 people who are tagged!:
Whoever who want to do, just do.
-> "The person who created this survey is a retard"
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
As if it will ever enter cyber space...
3. What was the last thing you watched on TV?
News in Spain, and again, in Spain.
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
Oh 2:33Pm noon.
*slaps myself* im in SG.
5. Now look at the clock. What’s the actual time?
9:34pm
Woo 1 minute passed.
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Fan spinning. And churning lots of air along with it. But I still feel warm.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Erhm. To play badminton today.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
The piano->the stairs->my room
9. What are you wearing?
Shirt and pants.
10. Did you dream last night?
I don't remember anything.
12. What is on the walls of the room you’re in?
Gravity! get it gravity! If you mean the floors, then it's a different story.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Your face perhaps?
14. What do you think of this quiz?
Stupidity killed the cat, but it won't kill me. :p
15. What was the last film you saw?
I don't think movies works using film anymore.
16. If you become a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I don't know. Depends on the depth of the keyword here-"multi". Either way, I don't think I have much to buy. I will feed all the beggars along the streets. (of course, geniune ones).
17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
I can't believe this survey is talking to me. WOhoo.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Newton's laws. Wohoo.
19. Do you like to dance?
Nope.
20. George Bush?
Im neutral.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl. What would you name her?
I seriously don't know? I like Jpn names but that depends on my future wife, because I don't make the decision alone.
22. Imagine your first child is a boy. What would you name him?
Zzzzzzzz Potassium Hydroxide then.
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Nope. If you travel more, you will realize how good SG is.
And there are stupid whinners that complain about SG, go see the world.
24. What do you want God to say when you reach the pearly white gates?
No comment
25. 6 people who are tagged!:
Whoever who want to do, just do.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
And so the story continues
Jet lag, airplanes. Facing the most deadly veterans of sophorific stimulation, I find it hard to keep my eyes open. I will clear my jet lag in one day. Everyone is sleeping. Even the air is sleeping. In this overly somniferous environment. I can only perservere. No matter how much I want to close my eyes. I cannot.
And now the story continues. 2 weeks, just ding ding dong dong.Over. If time is an asset, then where have I wasted it? Perhaps waste is not a word. Travelling is certainly not a waste of time, but I find myself strongly believing that I am not a "natural-borned" traveller. Many people have expressed cries of envy. Going to europe, is like a dream to some people. I know this is not going to sound very nice but yes, I am appreciative that I am given a chance to tour and travel with a carefree heart, but I must say, I am maladroit at such endeavours. Deep down in my heart, I just know it. I dislike travelling. I must be blunt. No, I am not taking things for granted. I do know how to appreciate the fact that I am given a chance. But still, travelling, is not my cup of tea.
But still, it was a good experience. Though what my eyes have chanced upon was not that much of an enlightenment, the satisfaction that tags along the ownership of a memory of one's feet that once stepped upon those grounds and one's existence that explored these monuments and architecture masterpieces, makes it all worth the hassle. Travelling, is not exactly carefree. Neither is it painless, or relaxing. A holiday overseas, is more of a learning journey, it is more tiring than school, more taxing than sports. and we are often placed in many uncomfortable situations. Are those breathtaking scenery or art pieces of a hundred years of history worth all these hassle?
Maybe. Only maybe.
That is my point of view.
And now I have one week of time before Yf camp begins. And then as Yf camp comes to an end, I will be flying to Thailand. What a busy holiday. I don't think I ever did have a holiday this packed in my life before.
Ah and then one more week or so, we will be once again warped into school life. This time, in boss stage. But surprisingly, I am looking forward to school life without project work, as well as chinese. I can imagine school hours begin significantly shorter. Hopefully.
I am starting on a nocturne, scrapping my revolutionry etude. And closing in to completly my Rondo (well, perfecting it, at least trying to..). But since with all that camp and trip thing going on, i can't really be practicing much, so I guess I will have to take on some sidequest. I decided to go make a detour and learn some pop songs, (chinese ones)....
Okay that' all for now. Zero revision this hooliday. BUt it's okay,I always have my bankai for next year. zzzz
And now the story continues. 2 weeks, just ding ding dong dong.Over. If time is an asset, then where have I wasted it? Perhaps waste is not a word. Travelling is certainly not a waste of time, but I find myself strongly believing that I am not a "natural-borned" traveller. Many people have expressed cries of envy. Going to europe, is like a dream to some people. I know this is not going to sound very nice but yes, I am appreciative that I am given a chance to tour and travel with a carefree heart, but I must say, I am maladroit at such endeavours. Deep down in my heart, I just know it. I dislike travelling. I must be blunt. No, I am not taking things for granted. I do know how to appreciate the fact that I am given a chance. But still, travelling, is not my cup of tea.
But still, it was a good experience. Though what my eyes have chanced upon was not that much of an enlightenment, the satisfaction that tags along the ownership of a memory of one's feet that once stepped upon those grounds and one's existence that explored these monuments and architecture masterpieces, makes it all worth the hassle. Travelling, is not exactly carefree. Neither is it painless, or relaxing. A holiday overseas, is more of a learning journey, it is more tiring than school, more taxing than sports. and we are often placed in many uncomfortable situations. Are those breathtaking scenery or art pieces of a hundred years of history worth all these hassle?
Maybe. Only maybe.
That is my point of view.
And now I have one week of time before Yf camp begins. And then as Yf camp comes to an end, I will be flying to Thailand. What a busy holiday. I don't think I ever did have a holiday this packed in my life before.
Ah and then one more week or so, we will be once again warped into school life. This time, in boss stage. But surprisingly, I am looking forward to school life without project work, as well as chinese. I can imagine school hours begin significantly shorter. Hopefully.
I am starting on a nocturne, scrapping my revolutionry etude. And closing in to completly my Rondo (well, perfecting it, at least trying to..). But since with all that camp and trip thing going on, i can't really be practicing much, so I guess I will have to take on some sidequest. I decided to go make a detour and learn some pop songs, (chinese ones)....
Okay that' all for now. Zero revision this hooliday. BUt it's okay,I always have my bankai for next year. zzzz
Home Sweet Home
Just a short summary of the cause of my dissappearing act for approx 2 weeks. I went to Europe again! But visited different place (of course). It was a more concentrated visit this time, (but still, sigh, extremely normadic). It was a circuit around Spain with a detour to Portugal. Due to the complications of each state name, which adds on to the repititive visit of Cathedrals, as well as the limitation of places of interest in Spain, gives me a very dry and limitedc ontent to blog about. Mainly because it was cold, I was sleepy, and I was half asleep most of the time. Also, there ain't much interesting things in Spain.
Maybe there's this contrast effect. Central Europe last year with all the big & bad states/countries. Extremely famous landmarks last year. Let me tell you I visited nothing really spectacular this year. It was just Europe again, but nerfed. Yep, nerfed, to a very astronomical extent. I wouldn't say it was boring, but it was the contrast effect. The damn contrast effect that made everything seem so unimportant and ungrand and unglam (and anything, you name it) compared to last year. Well, comparisons usually breeds unhappiness. So just let's say this was a decent trip, a different place and a totally foriegn land where most people speak Spanish (like duh)....and most of the time we have to do a sign lanquage game inorder to order our food. But it got really easy in the later part of the trip.
14 days this round. Overall a short trip, as after deducting deparature and arrival days we are only left with 11 days (which is really really short), but still the urge to go home was still strong.
And yes this brings us to the subject of food. The food there tasted initially very good. But the standard (or maybe the perception of the food, by our tastebuds) exponentially declined heavily after a few days. Breakfast was a good example. The first day we were greeted by an array of fanciful tarts, crossiants, breed, and interesting unique Spanish delicacies (I was hungry mind you so I gobbled them before I could ask them their name!). Beautiful breakfast! But as the day past, we find ourselves eating the same old garbage again and again. First day was sweet, yumyum, Second day was Umm not bad. and by the fifth it there was this irking sensation to puke. I wasn't savouring my food, I was DRINKING my breed. (we were kinda in a rush every morning as soon as the "sensational breakfast" or the affection for 'delicious' breed wore off). We grew sick and tired. Lunch was so-so. Most of the lunch were eating in Service stations (like petrol koisks and along toilet stops). Some were decent (standard white food), Pasta, Meet and stuff. Some were horrible and I recall eating the worst meal ever in this trip in a service station which pasta tasted worst than water. Besides that, there were several optional lunch/dinner included which included a local delicacy "paila" (seafood rice), [my eye lighted up because I thought that was FRIED rice at first but there was slight resemblence as a consolation]. and also the pork there was so tender that you could chop it with a plate. Chinese dinner for most nights, not wonderful, but decent.
Service station reminds me of the long and 'gruelling" bus rides. Yes, tour guide Sam told us that we had to travel 4400 KM of route (just city to city) ALONE for the entire trip.Trust me, that is a long distance. Imagine if you can, if the bus would to be travelling even at a considerable fast speed, 100Km/hr for instance. That would amount to 44 hours of butt torture for the entire trip. Which averages (if you divide by 11 days) to 4 hours per day. And more often than not, the bus was travelling at a considerably lower speed than hundred, so it was almost about 5 hours of bus ride PER day. There are days when morning/afternoons were spend totally in the bus.
Not much of sightseeing from the window. and I was smart or economical enough to chop the back row. That turned the tables. It turned out that I enjoyed bus rides the most because I have a flat 'bed" to sleep on everytime we board the bus. thanks to that I didn't listen to much 'history' or explanation.
I took pictures this time round, alot more. will be posting more. And updating slightly more. this is just a summary, jet lag is killing me. Gotta sleep!
Maybe there's this contrast effect. Central Europe last year with all the big & bad states/countries. Extremely famous landmarks last year. Let me tell you I visited nothing really spectacular this year. It was just Europe again, but nerfed. Yep, nerfed, to a very astronomical extent. I wouldn't say it was boring, but it was the contrast effect. The damn contrast effect that made everything seem so unimportant and ungrand and unglam (and anything, you name it) compared to last year. Well, comparisons usually breeds unhappiness. So just let's say this was a decent trip, a different place and a totally foriegn land where most people speak Spanish (like duh)....and most of the time we have to do a sign lanquage game inorder to order our food. But it got really easy in the later part of the trip.
14 days this round. Overall a short trip, as after deducting deparature and arrival days we are only left with 11 days (which is really really short), but still the urge to go home was still strong.
And yes this brings us to the subject of food. The food there tasted initially very good. But the standard (or maybe the perception of the food, by our tastebuds) exponentially declined heavily after a few days. Breakfast was a good example. The first day we were greeted by an array of fanciful tarts, crossiants, breed, and interesting unique Spanish delicacies (I was hungry mind you so I gobbled them before I could ask them their name!). Beautiful breakfast! But as the day past, we find ourselves eating the same old garbage again and again. First day was sweet, yumyum, Second day was Umm not bad. and by the fifth it there was this irking sensation to puke. I wasn't savouring my food, I was DRINKING my breed. (we were kinda in a rush every morning as soon as the "sensational breakfast" or the affection for 'delicious' breed wore off). We grew sick and tired. Lunch was so-so. Most of the lunch were eating in Service stations (like petrol koisks and along toilet stops). Some were decent (standard white food), Pasta, Meet and stuff. Some were horrible and I recall eating the worst meal ever in this trip in a service station which pasta tasted worst than water. Besides that, there were several optional lunch/dinner included which included a local delicacy "paila" (seafood rice), [my eye lighted up because I thought that was FRIED rice at first but there was slight resemblence as a consolation]. and also the pork there was so tender that you could chop it with a plate. Chinese dinner for most nights, not wonderful, but decent.
Service station reminds me of the long and 'gruelling" bus rides. Yes, tour guide Sam told us that we had to travel 4400 KM of route (just city to city) ALONE for the entire trip.Trust me, that is a long distance. Imagine if you can, if the bus would to be travelling even at a considerable fast speed, 100Km/hr for instance. That would amount to 44 hours of butt torture for the entire trip. Which averages (if you divide by 11 days) to 4 hours per day. And more often than not, the bus was travelling at a considerably lower speed than hundred, so it was almost about 5 hours of bus ride PER day. There are days when morning/afternoons were spend totally in the bus.
Not much of sightseeing from the window. and I was smart or economical enough to chop the back row. That turned the tables. It turned out that I enjoyed bus rides the most because I have a flat 'bed" to sleep on everytime we board the bus. thanks to that I didn't listen to much 'history' or explanation.
I took pictures this time round, alot more. will be posting more. And updating slightly more. this is just a summary, jet lag is killing me. Gotta sleep!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Leaving soon
Im leaving tommorow for Europe!
1am flight, which means, it's actually Thursday
I will be back on 2 wednesdays later, 4th December.
Wohoo!!!
And tommorow will be packing. Loads of things to settle
1) Clothes and stuff ( i still have not enough of my OWN clothes because most of the time, more often than not, I borrow from my bro..so yeah, u get the idea. I don't have much clothes that are mine..)
2) Ipod packing. Okay this is going to sound ambitious but I want to fill up the 8Gb of my Ipod with Content, and decent content. Which will be relevant, not some stuff that I will not bother about...
3) Face stuff. bear with me, don't laugh, I need to buy a functionable SHAVER as well as buy some new wax/gel.
That's about it.
1am flight, which means, it's actually Thursday
I will be back on 2 wednesdays later, 4th December.
Wohoo!!!
And tommorow will be packing. Loads of things to settle
1) Clothes and stuff ( i still have not enough of my OWN clothes because most of the time, more often than not, I borrow from my bro..so yeah, u get the idea. I don't have much clothes that are mine..)
2) Ipod packing. Okay this is going to sound ambitious but I want to fill up the 8Gb of my Ipod with Content, and decent content. Which will be relevant, not some stuff that I will not bother about...
3) Face stuff. bear with me, don't laugh, I need to buy a functionable SHAVER as well as buy some new wax/gel.
That's about it.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Was tagged
I was tagged by dexter to do this, and dex, your posts cannot be highlighted and copied. (woohoo?), so I had to be resourceful and find the actual source to copy from. But it's okay, this is the only thing I am going to complain about.
Instructions
1. Do the following WITHOUT complaint.. alrite.. fine..
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours.. i'm thinkin.. 5 ppl..?.. waste my time siah..lol
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged.. isn't that e obvious?
4. Start your post with; I have been tagged!.. wierd?.. isn't it.. u tagg others but say i have been tagged.. haha.. funny arh..
Favourites
Favourite colour: Grey (I did elaborate on a few posts back)
Favourite food: No comments
Favourite Movie: Secret,Death Note and World Trade Center
Favourite Sport:Badminton duh. Nothing else comes close
Favourite Day of the Week: Used to be friday, but now I say saturday
Favourite Season: Summer?
Favourite Ice Cream: I eat anything.
Currents
Current mood: Light
Current Clothes: Boxers shorts and normal t-shirt. (im AT HOME)
Current deskstop: Manga site, Itunes, Windows Live, Wc3, MSN convos, downloads.
Current time: 12:08pm
Current surroundings: a very "nocturnal mood"
Current annoyances: my dad in the room
First Best Friend: Never had one, I dont believe in best friends
First Crush: to be very honest, it was a girl when I was p3 (same class), and I forgot her name
First Movie: Independance day (Yawns, i fell asleep)
First Lie: I don't remember.
First Music: How would I remember?
Lasts
Last Drink: Plain water
Last Car Ride: I forgot.
Last Crush: Never had a crush for a long time already
LASt phone call: Not obliged to answer this. but i think it was a girl.
Last CD Played: who needs CDs when you have Itunes.
Have you evers?
Have you ever dated one of your best friend? Never had a calender
Have you ever broken the law ? I guess, by downloading?
Have you ever been arrested? Nope, no chance man.
Have you ever been on TV? Nope
Have you ever kissed someone you don't know? Nope.
Random 5 things you are good at:
1. Brainage calculations
2. Emo-ing
3. Blogging
4. Impromtu
5. Typing fast
4 things you've done today:
1. took a bus
2. tapped my ezlink card
3. sat down
4. got down the bus
say W-O-A-H
3 things you can hear right now:
1. Itunes playing "wu ding"
2. Nothing else besides that
3. Nothing else...Seriously
5 people to tag: Whoever who want to do, just do.
Very meaningless questions, guess it's been a long time since I did anything quiz like. I am currently considering if I should continue blogging about today.
The torrential rain, was a total turn off. Rain is at it's finest when you're at home, sheltered and protected. But when you're out, I realised an umbrella doesn't help much when the rain is too strong...
Random.
The blade
It took sometime to find,
the blade that lies within.
The curtain of within and behind
spawns million of fiends.
As an envoy of sadness it seiges,
Countering is a choice,
Ignoring is a temptation within reach
Determines tears borned or destroy
In one swift movement we should,
ruin these deadly fiends.
one by one, as they surface from it's root.
picking up the blade, light or desperate.
Determined, I will never be sad ever again. I never want to feel sad again. And thus, I set off as a swordsman, with a blade in hand, and I will decapitate sadness in whatever form it appears before me. Because happiness is a choice.
I never want to be sad ever again. Aiming for a second, then a minute, then a day, then a week. a month, a year.
Anti-emo.
Instructions
1. Do the following WITHOUT complaint.. alrite.. fine..
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours.. i'm thinkin.. 5 ppl..?.. waste my time siah..lol
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged.. isn't that e obvious?
4. Start your post with; I have been tagged!.. wierd?.. isn't it.. u tagg others but say i have been tagged.. haha.. funny arh..
Favourites
Favourite colour: Grey (I did elaborate on a few posts back)
Favourite food: No comments
Favourite Movie: Secret,Death Note and World Trade Center
Favourite Sport:Badminton duh. Nothing else comes close
Favourite Day of the Week: Used to be friday, but now I say saturday
Favourite Season: Summer?
Favourite Ice Cream: I eat anything.
Currents
Current mood: Light
Current Clothes: Boxers shorts and normal t-shirt. (im AT HOME)
Current deskstop: Manga site, Itunes, Windows Live, Wc3, MSN convos, downloads.
Current time: 12:08pm
Current surroundings: a very "nocturnal mood"
Current annoyances: my dad in the room
First Best Friend: Never had one, I dont believe in best friends
First Crush: to be very honest, it was a girl when I was p3 (same class), and I forgot her name
First Movie: Independance day (Yawns, i fell asleep)
First Lie: I don't remember.
First Music: How would I remember?
Lasts
Last Drink: Plain water
Last Car Ride: I forgot.
Last Crush: Never had a crush for a long time already
LASt phone call: Not obliged to answer this. but i think it was a girl.
Last CD Played: who needs CDs when you have Itunes.
Have you evers?
Have you ever dated one of your best friend? Never had a calender
Have you ever broken the law ? I guess, by downloading?
Have you ever been arrested? Nope, no chance man.
Have you ever been on TV? Nope
Have you ever kissed someone you don't know? Nope.
Random 5 things you are good at:
1. Brainage calculations
2. Emo-ing
3. Blogging
4. Impromtu
5. Typing fast
4 things you've done today:
1. took a bus
2. tapped my ezlink card
3. sat down
4. got down the bus
say W-O-A-H
3 things you can hear right now:
1. Itunes playing "wu ding"
2. Nothing else besides that
3. Nothing else...Seriously
5 people to tag: Whoever who want to do, just do.
Very meaningless questions, guess it's been a long time since I did anything quiz like. I am currently considering if I should continue blogging about today.
The torrential rain, was a total turn off. Rain is at it's finest when you're at home, sheltered and protected. But when you're out, I realised an umbrella doesn't help much when the rain is too strong...
Random.
The blade
It took sometime to find,
the blade that lies within.
The curtain of within and behind
spawns million of fiends.
As an envoy of sadness it seiges,
Countering is a choice,
Ignoring is a temptation within reach
Determines tears borned or destroy
In one swift movement we should,
ruin these deadly fiends.
one by one, as they surface from it's root.
picking up the blade, light or desperate.
Determined, I will never be sad ever again. I never want to feel sad again. And thus, I set off as a swordsman, with a blade in hand, and I will decapitate sadness in whatever form it appears before me. Because happiness is a choice.
I never want to be sad ever again. Aiming for a second, then a minute, then a day, then a week. a month, a year.
Anti-emo.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Heat
Hot, hot hot. Seriously, the environnment I am in is not fit for any sane human to survive. And despite all that, I am braving all that heat to blog. Firstly because I am bored, insanely bored and secondly, almost al gadgets are with my brother at church now. I find myself sevrely handicapped without my Itouch or my DS, but still I have my trusty PC, but who wants to use a PC when you have a beam of 3 oclock noon sunlight directly shining at you (and heating you up rapidly in the process). I really hate the sun, I really hate the bad positioning of my room. unfriendly sun, and windows do nothing against it. And my aircon puts up not much of a defense against the relentless heat. I am pespiring like crazy and I have to take another bath again, SOON.
Okay, lets get on with the post proper. Yesterday, was a fine day. (I mean, which day isn't fine). Morning, lurked around at home for awhile and then appeared in church for Jump. It's the last session of the year and we took photos. Mainly it was sharing but all I could say it was a chance to look back at this year and how we have grown spiritually. For me, an exponential leap I believe. After that we hanged around a little while with Nic and the rest, and we took a video of nic "weird bowling stance", and it was like super funny, and I will get it uploaded soon, to youtube, as well as my Itouch. Ended the day with pool, and I got to stress that I am maladroit at such activities, or what you would call, "sub sports". Wait, I am naturally bad at sports.
A little digress. No, that was supposed to be the gist of this post. Whatever, it's been awhile since I added informal, casual, a "touch of casual life" styled narration in my post. Introspection has died off slowly. And I finally understand the importance of living a happy life. Afterall, one must be happy alone. Never rely too much on other people, and put your happiness in other people's hand. And that is when things get suicidal, things get out of hand because one is giving others the control of oneself. (which is, pretty foolish). But still, striking a balance is still the best alternative, and disappointment ,when things don't turn out good is the greatest extent one should fall. Friends, Love, are the crux of the problem in many people's lives, and the reason lies within overdependance of others. Never let others determine your identity. Sometimes, solitude gives strength. And one should strive to make company a presence, and not an absence when we find it lacking.
The heat subsided. It's cooling now, and it looks like it's going to rain.
Okay, lets get on with the post proper. Yesterday, was a fine day. (I mean, which day isn't fine). Morning, lurked around at home for awhile and then appeared in church for Jump. It's the last session of the year and we took photos. Mainly it was sharing but all I could say it was a chance to look back at this year and how we have grown spiritually. For me, an exponential leap I believe. After that we hanged around a little while with Nic and the rest, and we took a video of nic "weird bowling stance", and it was like super funny, and I will get it uploaded soon, to youtube, as well as my Itouch. Ended the day with pool, and I got to stress that I am maladroit at such activities, or what you would call, "sub sports". Wait, I am naturally bad at sports.
A little digress. No, that was supposed to be the gist of this post. Whatever, it's been awhile since I added informal, casual, a "touch of casual life" styled narration in my post. Introspection has died off slowly. And I finally understand the importance of living a happy life. Afterall, one must be happy alone. Never rely too much on other people, and put your happiness in other people's hand. And that is when things get suicidal, things get out of hand because one is giving others the control of oneself. (which is, pretty foolish). But still, striking a balance is still the best alternative, and disappointment ,when things don't turn out good is the greatest extent one should fall. Friends, Love, are the crux of the problem in many people's lives, and the reason lies within overdependance of others. Never let others determine your identity. Sometimes, solitude gives strength. And one should strive to make company a presence, and not an absence when we find it lacking.
The heat subsided. It's cooling now, and it looks like it's going to rain.
An apple a day...
I know I haven't been blogging for a couple of days. Laziness have set in, (and I have no idea why. A maelstrom of events happened over the past few days and amongst which, the most prominent one is probably the arrival of my Apple Itouch, which was two days ago.
Let me recall what happened, and explain my absence for the interval of days from thursday till today which is a good 3 days (which is so unlike me not to blog about anything).
Thursday
Oh yes, me and Tay Ye went to church to help pack and sort the donations in the Yf room. Mainly we were sorting the books into "okay" and "not-okay", we were acting as a filter paper for these books and after which we had to pile these books into boxes (and in addition to that, tape all the boxes and their joints to make sure they don't fall apart from that heavy load) according to size, big to small and stuff. It wasn't exactly very tiring, nor was it unbearable, but it was the lack of breakfast (if i recall correctly), and the dusty, hazy atmosphere in the room (probably caused by the stack and stumps of old,dusty books)....that was the crux of the problem which we faced. Aside from that, I feel that we were productive, pertaining to how much we acheieved and I feel rather proud of ourselves, but this brought about somewhat of a gastric attack to me and my brother.
Mild. Fortunately, a mild one and we induldged ourselves in Chee Chong Fan, from the market after that which was so pleasing and satisfying. But still, I find it displeasing to try to eat these from a plastic bag. Perhaps it is because I never really trained or mastered wielding a chopstick in my hand and tackling food at a weird angle.
Friday
Seriously, I never experienced such a "rot-at-home" day before for sometime. I spend this day indulging in Naruto Manga (which easily my chapter count rose dramatically after this day. talk about significance, ironically), as well as doing other lame stuff like playing my DS, piano.
Im about to finish all the avaliable chaps of Naruto and I find Naruto extremely exciting. Perhaps to the extent that I find it arousing (not in the wrong way). I confess, there are times I actually get up, squat on my chair and have two fingers in my mouth as I manually flip these online pages, in awe, astonishment and amusement.
Don't mistake Naruto for a downright shonen "beat the baddies' series, because it gets more complex than it seems. Naruto (the series itself) can be quite emotional, (if you let your emotional side sway as you read), there are emotions in Naruto, there are an array of different characters, ambitions which could be closely analyzed.
OH yes, finally the gist of the post is going to be unveiled. On friday night, my dad arrived home with my Apple Ipod touch. I was elated, excited (but at the same time), hungry and guilt-stricken. Never ever once in my life have my pockets chanced upon such a powerful standalone (and expensive) gadget. Perhaps expensive is variable relative to perspective. However, 500 singapore dollars is something I would never spend on a mp3 player. The price was hefty, but after purchasing it and trying it for a while, I find that it's totally worth it. And by the way, I got the 8GB version and an addition of 200 dollars to morph into a player with double it's size is probably totally unworth. Is it just me that finds 8GB sufficient. And my old creative mp3 player had 4Gb and it's not even full.
Perhaps I should scrap the idea that it's just a Mp3 player. Because, nowadays revolutionarised mp3 player can view videos,photos And this Itouch of mine works as a portable Internet (and youtube) as well with Wifi. I tried viewing websites infront of my com, and I was able to surf my blog, surf the blog of others with ease. And the loading times surprised me, it was alot shorter than I expected. However, Youtube was a let down. I never tried it around hotspots (like Macdonalds), but certainly the videos take ages to load and I don't reccomend anyone to wait like5 minutes for several pixels to load and play and then the cycle repeats and warps into endlessness and it's stupid user sit there staring into the "loading movie" for many many minutes. And If im not wrong,not every video on youtube can be played. A disappointment, but it isn't that bad. It's not everyday and everywhere when you get to hang around a place with decent wireless network.
That was mainly the more exotic features of this latest gadget. I would say I went Woah and was totally impressed with it's interface. The touch screen was the main plus point to this gadget. It's just too flashy, really flashy. And this is something one would have to experience himself to actually get an idea. It's probably an iphone, without the phone.
Im not going into the interface details or sound quality (because i do not really know how to elaborate). I will post pictures soon, I hope.
Im lazy to post about yesterday....Shssshh. Perhaps later.
Let me recall what happened, and explain my absence for the interval of days from thursday till today which is a good 3 days (which is so unlike me not to blog about anything).
Thursday
Oh yes, me and Tay Ye went to church to help pack and sort the donations in the Yf room. Mainly we were sorting the books into "okay" and "not-okay", we were acting as a filter paper for these books and after which we had to pile these books into boxes (and in addition to that, tape all the boxes and their joints to make sure they don't fall apart from that heavy load) according to size, big to small and stuff. It wasn't exactly very tiring, nor was it unbearable, but it was the lack of breakfast (if i recall correctly), and the dusty, hazy atmosphere in the room (probably caused by the stack and stumps of old,dusty books)....that was the crux of the problem which we faced. Aside from that, I feel that we were productive, pertaining to how much we acheieved and I feel rather proud of ourselves, but this brought about somewhat of a gastric attack to me and my brother.
Mild. Fortunately, a mild one and we induldged ourselves in Chee Chong Fan, from the market after that which was so pleasing and satisfying. But still, I find it displeasing to try to eat these from a plastic bag. Perhaps it is because I never really trained or mastered wielding a chopstick in my hand and tackling food at a weird angle.
Friday
Seriously, I never experienced such a "rot-at-home" day before for sometime. I spend this day indulging in Naruto Manga (which easily my chapter count rose dramatically after this day. talk about significance, ironically), as well as doing other lame stuff like playing my DS, piano.
Im about to finish all the avaliable chaps of Naruto and I find Naruto extremely exciting. Perhaps to the extent that I find it arousing (not in the wrong way). I confess, there are times I actually get up, squat on my chair and have two fingers in my mouth as I manually flip these online pages, in awe, astonishment and amusement.
Don't mistake Naruto for a downright shonen "beat the baddies' series, because it gets more complex than it seems. Naruto (the series itself) can be quite emotional, (if you let your emotional side sway as you read), there are emotions in Naruto, there are an array of different characters, ambitions which could be closely analyzed.
OH yes, finally the gist of the post is going to be unveiled. On friday night, my dad arrived home with my Apple Ipod touch. I was elated, excited (but at the same time), hungry and guilt-stricken. Never ever once in my life have my pockets chanced upon such a powerful standalone (and expensive) gadget. Perhaps expensive is variable relative to perspective. However, 500 singapore dollars is something I would never spend on a mp3 player. The price was hefty, but after purchasing it and trying it for a while, I find that it's totally worth it. And by the way, I got the 8GB version and an addition of 200 dollars to morph into a player with double it's size is probably totally unworth. Is it just me that finds 8GB sufficient. And my old creative mp3 player had 4Gb and it's not even full.
Perhaps I should scrap the idea that it's just a Mp3 player. Because, nowadays revolutionarised mp3 player can view videos,photos And this Itouch of mine works as a portable Internet (and youtube) as well with Wifi. I tried viewing websites infront of my com, and I was able to surf my blog, surf the blog of others with ease. And the loading times surprised me, it was alot shorter than I expected. However, Youtube was a let down. I never tried it around hotspots (like Macdonalds), but certainly the videos take ages to load and I don't reccomend anyone to wait like5 minutes for several pixels to load and play and then the cycle repeats and warps into endlessness and it's stupid user sit there staring into the "loading movie" for many many minutes. And If im not wrong,not every video on youtube can be played. A disappointment, but it isn't that bad. It's not everyday and everywhere when you get to hang around a place with decent wireless network.
That was mainly the more exotic features of this latest gadget. I would say I went Woah and was totally impressed with it's interface. The touch screen was the main plus point to this gadget. It's just too flashy, really flashy. And this is something one would have to experience himself to actually get an idea. It's probably an iphone, without the phone.
Im not going into the interface details or sound quality (because i do not really know how to elaborate). I will post pictures soon, I hope.
Im lazy to post about yesterday....Shssshh. Perhaps later.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Colourful day
Another colourful day of painting in church for props. Firstly, I apologize for being such a slacker, such a lousy painter. Afterall, I am maladroit at such nittygritty things. I can't even handle a toothbrush properly, not to mention a bigger, buffed version, and with colourful ink on it's tips.
What made me think, was not about the whole colouring event. Today we had to mix grey from black and white. Something I still am confused about, is grey obtained by the whitening of black or the blackening of white? The same? Probably. But not very the same if you think carefully enough.
Why is it, that when you mix every colour with black, you get black. If you pour a huge quantity of white into a relatively small quantity of black you don't get white. But inversely, if you did it the other way round (lots of black, little white), all the white transforms into black.
We had to paint this wall, with bricks. And it was a very 'brown' day because mainly we were using brown pain, it was fun, but after awhile, it becomes boring. And kudos to people like Nick and christina who perserved on, while others (like me) started to slack...zzz. real sorry. I can't help but feeling useless at such things. I'm just plain lazy.
Tommorow I have to wake up early to go church to sort the books for donations and we'll have to start packing.
And I'll be leaving for Europe (again) next wednesday.
Nothing to blog about....
What made me think, was not about the whole colouring event. Today we had to mix grey from black and white. Something I still am confused about, is grey obtained by the whitening of black or the blackening of white? The same? Probably. But not very the same if you think carefully enough.
Why is it, that when you mix every colour with black, you get black. If you pour a huge quantity of white into a relatively small quantity of black you don't get white. But inversely, if you did it the other way round (lots of black, little white), all the white transforms into black.
We had to paint this wall, with bricks. And it was a very 'brown' day because mainly we were using brown pain, it was fun, but after awhile, it becomes boring. And kudos to people like Nick and christina who perserved on, while others (like me) started to slack...zzz. real sorry. I can't help but feeling useless at such things. I'm just plain lazy.
Tommorow I have to wake up early to go church to sort the books for donations and we'll have to start packing.
And I'll be leaving for Europe (again) next wednesday.
Nothing to blog about....
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The root
Today and yesterday passed really swiftly. Indulging in little meaningless matters. Reading manga has been one of the greatest time waster of all. Prince of tennis, is definitely a good read And again, I must stress that Prince of Tennis is an absolutely must read, whether one is a tennis fan or not. The tennis moves are really chimerical (and that can be a plus, or minus point), characters are well developed and even through manga, you can feel every character's emotions, personality, and devotion.
Though these few days have been dedicated to woolgathering and major time wasting activities (which include, Dota, Manga-reading, mindless walking around along the corridor), I have been thinking deeply into several issues. I have been in awe, and atonished because the first time in my life is realise what my favourite colour is, guess what? Grey. Grey is my fav colour, I just noticed it.
This brings us back to the root question, "how do people normally know what is their fav colour", is it something that they have decided, or is it the colour appeals to them somehow. For me, I have not experienced the feeling of being "electrified mystically" by colors. But why is it they can make a decision, yet not knowing why they like the color? is it because they are (like I said), just naturally attracted to the colour? And why of all colours (if all colours have equal appeal). Don't people question themselves why is that one colour their favourite colour? Or are such unorthodox questions not favourable amongst the shallow?
Colors are everywhere, we shouldn't neglect them. And for once, I decided to embark on a mission to be observant. It's time I consciously pay attention to colors. Because more often than not, colors appeal to our subconscious inner being, but do we even take time to pause and notice it's hue, it's shade? More often than not, no. In this hasty busy life, where have art gone to? where has appreciation of the most basic things gone to? All vanished, all effaced, along with all the distractions.
Grey. It is probably rare to find someone that will like the color grey. Ive noticed that grey is a strike of balance. A point of equipoise between black and white. Grey, to me, is a colour of compromise. If black and white (opposing personalities) would to clash, Grey, is a colour that will signify the coexsitance of black and white. Grey, has alot of meaning to it, but why is it that more often than not, Grey is put in a negative context. Is it the mood that it gives? Or is it simply the biasness of human perspective. Why is it that grey is always associated with something bad, a bad premonition (grey clouds..), or negative aspects. Can't we do some reflection. Why have human biasness, have been extented into the realm of colors. Aren't putting tags on people bad enough, even colors are not spared. Grey may be dull, but there is certainly beauty within grey, and that amplifies the definition of beauty.
Colours can be paradoxical. For example, Green a mixture of Blue and yellow. Imagine if you can, Blue represents the cooling seas, while Yellow symbolises warmth. Green, is a contradictory color as well as a balance point between cool and warmth. Perhaps that is why green is choosen for a color for nature. Now, does equilibrium (no matter in what aspect), depict peace and vice versa? I am more inclined to agree.
It makes me wonder "are all colors equal?". I believe so, and again, human perspective makes everything unequal.
I don't know why am I going on this long, uncalled for journey to elaborate every single detail on colours which I have been silently discussing with myself. It's something so arcane, I still don't get it. I think, sometimes, we should relax, catch our breath, and then appreciate the things around us. For example, what would this world be like without colors?
And again, this boils down to the ulimate question. Perhaps I become more sensitive to colours because I have been reading black and white MANGA!!!
It has brought me to a point that colour is a presence, and not an absence. People usually treat the lack of colour has anabsence of colour, we take colours for granted and we should not. Colours are a presence.
And for simplicty's sake, I shall not go on.
It's getting pretty late. 11:30pm now, to me, is a shocking time to be awake. Ive been sleeping astonishingly early and waking up early as well. Im getting used to it and I like the great energy bursts in the morning which give me a great start for my day. I shall forsake my life of an owl. I finally acknowledge the truth after many years of denial, night is for sleeping. (not stalking)
And again, I found the root of my problem. that issue. Sometimes, recovery have to be done the right time, with the right methods. It's not about forgetting, it's not about letting go, it's about losing the feelings, and that is where the crux of the problem lies.
Enlightened. I will not waver anymore.
From here on I will focus on unfinished tasks, my unfinished and incomplete battle against Alevels. It is a shocking discovery that next year is my last year of basic education. All these 11 years, all boils down to this moment, (well comparitively, a ratio of 1:11 is what we have here), 1 year to decide all. I will not allow this to be a coin tossing experiment. I will not allow myself plunge in mid air without a parachute. Perhaps, I should finally unlesh the potential within me. I must abandon the lazy nature, and forsake the demon of procastination.
Whatever it'll be, it's never good to underestimate. I don't think Alevels is going to be tough, but still, I think it's safer if I did my examinations with my eyes opened. After it's the last, the last lap. (and who lied about it being the last lap during olevels period last year). Period, and then it's time to decide what I want to do next time. I can do anything actually, anything that I like. But I know what I do must be of relevant interest to me.
What I need to do, is to pretend Im stupid. Pretend I need a whole load of effort to make it somewhere, and that is the only way Im going to succeed. If I rely on myself, and last minute wits and adrenaline rushes, I may screw up. Yes, from today onwards, I will be stupid. I will pretend I am. And I shall pretend that I need to work hard. And that is when the fruits of the labour will be seen soon. I hope. Complacency has almost ruined me.
It's been a long post, but my fingers are unwilling to stop talking. What I am saying here, is totally raw, unprocessed thoughts. And before my fingers die of exhaustion (mind you, my finger doesn't have a mind but it's thinking on it's own! seriously)....[and that brings me to something I have in mind, which I will not say now because....i will make this post too lengthy and I would like to nicely balance and spread out content amongst postes].
Good night to whoever may be reading this and thank you for surviving this long post, (if you seriously took the time to read till here). Even my fingers are sleepy and because I am a nice boss and I realise my fingers are fatigued from working severely overtime. Good night.
Though these few days have been dedicated to woolgathering and major time wasting activities (which include, Dota, Manga-reading, mindless walking around along the corridor), I have been thinking deeply into several issues. I have been in awe, and atonished because the first time in my life is realise what my favourite colour is, guess what? Grey. Grey is my fav colour, I just noticed it.
This brings us back to the root question, "how do people normally know what is their fav colour", is it something that they have decided, or is it the colour appeals to them somehow. For me, I have not experienced the feeling of being "electrified mystically" by colors. But why is it they can make a decision, yet not knowing why they like the color? is it because they are (like I said), just naturally attracted to the colour? And why of all colours (if all colours have equal appeal). Don't people question themselves why is that one colour their favourite colour? Or are such unorthodox questions not favourable amongst the shallow?
Colors are everywhere, we shouldn't neglect them. And for once, I decided to embark on a mission to be observant. It's time I consciously pay attention to colors. Because more often than not, colors appeal to our subconscious inner being, but do we even take time to pause and notice it's hue, it's shade? More often than not, no. In this hasty busy life, where have art gone to? where has appreciation of the most basic things gone to? All vanished, all effaced, along with all the distractions.
Grey. It is probably rare to find someone that will like the color grey. Ive noticed that grey is a strike of balance. A point of equipoise between black and white. Grey, to me, is a colour of compromise. If black and white (opposing personalities) would to clash, Grey, is a colour that will signify the coexsitance of black and white. Grey, has alot of meaning to it, but why is it that more often than not, Grey is put in a negative context. Is it the mood that it gives? Or is it simply the biasness of human perspective. Why is it that grey is always associated with something bad, a bad premonition (grey clouds..), or negative aspects. Can't we do some reflection. Why have human biasness, have been extented into the realm of colors. Aren't putting tags on people bad enough, even colors are not spared. Grey may be dull, but there is certainly beauty within grey, and that amplifies the definition of beauty.
Colours can be paradoxical. For example, Green a mixture of Blue and yellow. Imagine if you can, Blue represents the cooling seas, while Yellow symbolises warmth. Green, is a contradictory color as well as a balance point between cool and warmth. Perhaps that is why green is choosen for a color for nature. Now, does equilibrium (no matter in what aspect), depict peace and vice versa? I am more inclined to agree.
It makes me wonder "are all colors equal?". I believe so, and again, human perspective makes everything unequal.
I don't know why am I going on this long, uncalled for journey to elaborate every single detail on colours which I have been silently discussing with myself. It's something so arcane, I still don't get it. I think, sometimes, we should relax, catch our breath, and then appreciate the things around us. For example, what would this world be like without colors?
And again, this boils down to the ulimate question. Perhaps I become more sensitive to colours because I have been reading black and white MANGA!!!
It has brought me to a point that colour is a presence, and not an absence. People usually treat the lack of colour has anabsence of colour, we take colours for granted and we should not. Colours are a presence.
And for simplicty's sake, I shall not go on.
It's getting pretty late. 11:30pm now, to me, is a shocking time to be awake. Ive been sleeping astonishingly early and waking up early as well. Im getting used to it and I like the great energy bursts in the morning which give me a great start for my day. I shall forsake my life of an owl. I finally acknowledge the truth after many years of denial, night is for sleeping. (not stalking)
And again, I found the root of my problem. that issue. Sometimes, recovery have to be done the right time, with the right methods. It's not about forgetting, it's not about letting go, it's about losing the feelings, and that is where the crux of the problem lies.
Enlightened. I will not waver anymore.
From here on I will focus on unfinished tasks, my unfinished and incomplete battle against Alevels. It is a shocking discovery that next year is my last year of basic education. All these 11 years, all boils down to this moment, (well comparitively, a ratio of 1:11 is what we have here), 1 year to decide all. I will not allow this to be a coin tossing experiment. I will not allow myself plunge in mid air without a parachute. Perhaps, I should finally unlesh the potential within me. I must abandon the lazy nature, and forsake the demon of procastination.
Whatever it'll be, it's never good to underestimate. I don't think Alevels is going to be tough, but still, I think it's safer if I did my examinations with my eyes opened. After it's the last, the last lap. (and who lied about it being the last lap during olevels period last year). Period, and then it's time to decide what I want to do next time. I can do anything actually, anything that I like. But I know what I do must be of relevant interest to me.
What I need to do, is to pretend Im stupid. Pretend I need a whole load of effort to make it somewhere, and that is the only way Im going to succeed. If I rely on myself, and last minute wits and adrenaline rushes, I may screw up. Yes, from today onwards, I will be stupid. I will pretend I am. And I shall pretend that I need to work hard. And that is when the fruits of the labour will be seen soon. I hope. Complacency has almost ruined me.
It's been a long post, but my fingers are unwilling to stop talking. What I am saying here, is totally raw, unprocessed thoughts. And before my fingers die of exhaustion (mind you, my finger doesn't have a mind but it's thinking on it's own! seriously)....[and that brings me to something I have in mind, which I will not say now because....i will make this post too lengthy and I would like to nicely balance and spread out content amongst postes].
Good night to whoever may be reading this and thank you for surviving this long post, (if you seriously took the time to read till here). Even my fingers are sleepy and because I am a nice boss and I realise my fingers are fatigued from working severely overtime. Good night.
My first attempt
All art involves expression, and today I tried something rather "out-of-the-box", using a software, "finale notepad", I composed my ever first 2 page melody. (due to the restrictions of the software, I can't find an option to go beyond a certain number of bars). I titled it "Hoshi Hanabi", (translates into Star Fireworks), which IMO, gives a very grand, explosive yet arcane and distant feeling. Though I find my work lacking in these expects, I do have realistic expectations for a first timer (and also a not very classical-savvy person).
It was in B flat major...I settled with it. I don't know why. Maybe if you want to hear it, you can Pm me over MSN, but I doubt anyone would want to hear my weirdo composition. There's no motive, just random note filling according to the picture of nothingness I see in my head...
It was in B flat major...I settled with it. I don't know why. Maybe if you want to hear it, you can Pm me over MSN, but I doubt anyone would want to hear my weirdo composition. There's no motive, just random note filling according to the picture of nothingness I see in my head...
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sixth Counter
Sixth Counter of Fuji Syuusuke from Prince of Tennis, Hoshi Hanabi. Let me explain how it works if you still don't understand the illustrations.
Firstly, some background knowledge, Fuji's Fifth Counter, " Gatekeeper of Hetaconchieres " forces his opponent's shot not to go across the net. (now, realise how imbal is that, that is almost saying "your opponent will never be able to return this shot"). But his opponent, managed to return it by countering the spin of the Fifth counter and barely pull a Cord Ball (a ball that hit the tip of the net and crosses it barely).
The 6th counter is a counter to counter Cord Balls. Imagine if you can, he will lob the ball up high from the net (which is tumbling at an abrnomal spin...), he lobs it so high and out of sight. (wow), and then because the stadium (which the final is taking place), is open air and there is wind and since Fuji is a genius (he can READ WIND directions!!!, and im serious!), the abnormal spin sends the ball into the audience's seat and bounces from the audience seat onto the court. Now, how much imagination would that take.
That is my definition of the Sixth Counter. " Hoshi Hanabi " which translates into "star fireworks". Very suited name.
Just when I thought Echizen's "Cool drive" is really absurd.
I know not everybody reads/watches Prince of Tennis, but it's really a hilarious (yet at the same time, allows one to think chimeral and induldge in fantasy tennis shots that would never have a chance to exist in real life, it makes me wonder whether the author's (mangaka's) imagination will ever reach a state of repletion, and it makes me feel that his creativity and absurdness in work is exponentially rising, dramatically)...
Sighs, and claps. Prince of tennis is very unrealistic yet it it is unrealistically interesting.
Mercurial
Why is it that every chinese pop song I hear is either 1) about love, 2) about breakups. There is nothing decent to rest my ears one. And this isn't only about chinese songs, but English songs are also the same. What's happening to pop culture? Im better off listening to classical without words at all. Or maybe I should convert to some Indian music.
I don't like yesterday. I dont' like saturday.
I need to do some piano chionging, I need to play some Dota.
Short post i know.
My words won't reach you anymore.
I don't like yesterday. I dont' like saturday.
I need to do some piano chionging, I need to play some Dota.
Short post i know.
My words won't reach you anymore.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Rhapsody in Blue
Eventful day. Gift factory at church, making bookmarks. Today was the 2nd session, and it was a moderately intensive one. In my humble opinion, the fatigue that sets in can be comparable to those mugging next door. Sometimes it is not deadly, brain wrecking questions that can kill, but the monotonous flat tasks can be equally deleterious. But still, I do not hint about anything querulous in nature, and I do like to stress that satisfaction, as a byproduct can be very satisfying.
Well, the only thing I can do is to draw lines. And the worst part of being a drawer is marking and measuring, then drawing lines,especially when you don't have a ruler long enough to fit the entire target area. Sad, and intensifying. This monotonous task can set one into a state of hynotism, especially if one strives to be alert in something that does not require much usage of brain cells.
I was really fatigued, but others strived on and I feel bad for slacking after my boredom meter has indicated that its red by beaming so brightly that others could possibly notice the adverse effects. Thankfully, I did accomplish some stuff during the time I was there. Though not significant, but at least I did something.
I slept in the Yf room, and then played my DS's brainage, played some piano. Slacked around and then went for dinner with my parents at pizza hut. It was quite an eventful day considering I set off rather early. (reached church around 11) and I just got home.
Somehow, busy, tiring days like these are the most gratifying days of all. It is totally the opposite feeling of slacking the entire day at home not accomplishing anything. The total exact opposite.
I am going to begin my secret training next week at church, till 20th november which after that I will be going to Europe (Spain, I guess) for 2 weeks and then following which will be Yf camp and then mission trip. I will be back very late, at least don't expect to see me lurking around online for sometime, I am away either on camp or overseas for at least 1 month out of the 2 months and 2 weeks are already over. Congrats, the last 2 weeks felt nothing like holidays actually. It was, but it didn't seem official with OP.
I still have Rondo to mug before my teacher comes tommorow. Ah one last page, must chiong. And I am going to play a nocturne next. Wooho, finally some emo-sound-alike.
Well, the only thing I can do is to draw lines. And the worst part of being a drawer is marking and measuring, then drawing lines,especially when you don't have a ruler long enough to fit the entire target area. Sad, and intensifying. This monotonous task can set one into a state of hynotism, especially if one strives to be alert in something that does not require much usage of brain cells.
I was really fatigued, but others strived on and I feel bad for slacking after my boredom meter has indicated that its red by beaming so brightly that others could possibly notice the adverse effects. Thankfully, I did accomplish some stuff during the time I was there. Though not significant, but at least I did something.
I slept in the Yf room, and then played my DS's brainage, played some piano. Slacked around and then went for dinner with my parents at pizza hut. It was quite an eventful day considering I set off rather early. (reached church around 11) and I just got home.
Somehow, busy, tiring days like these are the most gratifying days of all. It is totally the opposite feeling of slacking the entire day at home not accomplishing anything. The total exact opposite.
I am going to begin my secret training next week at church, till 20th november which after that I will be going to Europe (Spain, I guess) for 2 weeks and then following which will be Yf camp and then mission trip. I will be back very late, at least don't expect to see me lurking around online for sometime, I am away either on camp or overseas for at least 1 month out of the 2 months and 2 weeks are already over. Congrats, the last 2 weeks felt nothing like holidays actually. It was, but it didn't seem official with OP.
I still have Rondo to mug before my teacher comes tommorow. Ah one last page, must chiong. And I am going to play a nocturne next. Wooho, finally some emo-sound-alike.
dots
There was a moderate change in my life yesterday. I would say, for the better. After knowing that I can go to J2, I feel rather hyped up and excited. Perhaps it's time to scrap all that complacency and start doing something about it. I am determined, and before my determination vanishes along with time, I better start doing something. I have horrible Physics and borderline math and chem, sometimes, it makes me wonder why and how I got promoted in the first place.
I can only thank God, thank the school (for moderation).
I wouldn't say I am emo now, but the air here around me is melancholic. I feel refreshed, yet not very refreshed.I can't explain, abstractness. Yesterday, as promised, I went back for YF sports. Things were definitely better than weeks ago, I was pretty fine, and everything went well. It was not as awkward as it seems anymore, I guess. Time heals. I guess now we're back to talking terms, I must not be foolish, I must know what I really want. And, you haven't change one bit, while me, I have undergone several drastic changes in my perspective. Perhaps, this will widen the gap to futhur extents.
I can only thank God, thank the school (for moderation).
I wouldn't say I am emo now, but the air here around me is melancholic. I feel refreshed, yet not very refreshed.I can't explain, abstractness. Yesterday, as promised, I went back for YF sports. Things were definitely better than weeks ago, I was pretty fine, and everything went well. It was not as awkward as it seems anymore, I guess. Time heals. I guess now we're back to talking terms, I must not be foolish, I must know what I really want. And, you haven't change one bit, while me, I have undergone several drastic changes in my perspective. Perhaps, this will widen the gap to futhur extents.
Friday, November 9, 2007
The long wait
A maelstrom of events happened over the last few days and the most prominent one is the one which happened just minutes ago (or perhaps an hour or two has passed?)
After a long wait, the day to march into the gates of school and collect our results have come. Will this day ameliorate our lives, or are things going downhill from here, this day decides our fate. For people who already comfortably promoted, this shouldn't be a problem, this day is just another ritualistic event. But for borderline cases who are desperately in somewhat need of new age grace and mercy which can be defined as 'moderation', today was something more than a ritualistic thing, it's like a coin-tossing experience
It wasn't a pleasant experience. But since a picture speaks a thousand words, I am going to save my hand energy by posting my result slip here.
Ignore the comments, it is absolutely evident my teacher knows how to lie (pretty well), but he did add a little of "down-to-earth" realistic truth in it, aka "has encountered some difficulties in studies". Well, to sum up, it was immaturity, and complacency.
It was quite a miracle. Moderation can be also known as Grade Level Up Scheme where your grades level up just by sympathy and grace from the school. I appreciate that (very much), because my geography would not be able to taste an 'E' if not for moderation. There weren't much tweaks with my Math Chem and Physics (h2), and as you can see from my grades, and evidently Physics is the weak link. And now I really got to do something about it. I took chem and math under feverish conditions but it is still undeniable that my grades are noobish.
Percentile speaks of reality. All most all my subjects have poor percentiles except one. GP!! which has a percentile almost 6-7 times of physics. I didn't know how I did it. But still, my GP certainly got PULLED down because I probably have a lousy CA.
It's a nice slip, honestly. I was elated.
I went to school prepared for the worst. Actually, deep inside, I thought I was going to get retained. And there was this "board" whereby the names of people are being posted and they have to go to some LT for some briefing. I was told my name wasn't on it. And initially, I thought the names of the people on it were for people who were given a choice to either promote or retain. (thus, the briefing). I came to a conclusion because only Hisham's name was on the list and according to my impression, I thought he did okay, or maybe slightly less than okay. Or maybe just a borderline cases. And those people who go normally to the classrooms to collect slips are either straight promote/retain cases. I braced myself.
And then Mr wong strolled in and still asked us to fill in Travel forms. Anti-climax. And then he made what you would call a mini speech. The whole class got promoted except Hisham who was in LT and his case still pending. So we got our slips and slip out of school as soon as possible.
Nervewrecking experience. I have been standing on thin ice for the previous 3 years. Since sec 2, I had a problem with promoting. And I remember those days when I had a horrible English CA score and that would lead to my doom if I could not (by hook or crook) gather 50 marks for the final overall score. English was of utmost importance then, with regards to promotion. Sec 3 I also got an almost "condition" promotion, but was saved by the school. Why am I always in such a situation? I have to ask myself.
But thinking on the brighter side, it's always an exciting adventure, with a good ending.
That's all, I thought of blogging about other stuff, past few days and stuff but I decided not to (somehow).
After a long wait, the day to march into the gates of school and collect our results have come. Will this day ameliorate our lives, or are things going downhill from here, this day decides our fate. For people who already comfortably promoted, this shouldn't be a problem, this day is just another ritualistic event. But for borderline cases who are desperately in somewhat need of new age grace and mercy which can be defined as 'moderation', today was something more than a ritualistic thing, it's like a coin-tossing experience
It wasn't a pleasant experience. But since a picture speaks a thousand words, I am going to save my hand energy by posting my result slip here.
Ignore the comments, it is absolutely evident my teacher knows how to lie (pretty well), but he did add a little of "down-to-earth" realistic truth in it, aka "has encountered some difficulties in studies". Well, to sum up, it was immaturity, and complacency.
It was quite a miracle. Moderation can be also known as Grade Level Up Scheme where your grades level up just by sympathy and grace from the school. I appreciate that (very much), because my geography would not be able to taste an 'E' if not for moderation. There weren't much tweaks with my Math Chem and Physics (h2), and as you can see from my grades, and evidently Physics is the weak link. And now I really got to do something about it. I took chem and math under feverish conditions but it is still undeniable that my grades are noobish.
Percentile speaks of reality. All most all my subjects have poor percentiles except one. GP!! which has a percentile almost 6-7 times of physics. I didn't know how I did it. But still, my GP certainly got PULLED down because I probably have a lousy CA.
It's a nice slip, honestly. I was elated.
I went to school prepared for the worst. Actually, deep inside, I thought I was going to get retained. And there was this "board" whereby the names of people are being posted and they have to go to some LT for some briefing. I was told my name wasn't on it. And initially, I thought the names of the people on it were for people who were given a choice to either promote or retain. (thus, the briefing). I came to a conclusion because only Hisham's name was on the list and according to my impression, I thought he did okay, or maybe slightly less than okay. Or maybe just a borderline cases. And those people who go normally to the classrooms to collect slips are either straight promote/retain cases. I braced myself.
And then Mr wong strolled in and still asked us to fill in Travel forms. Anti-climax. And then he made what you would call a mini speech. The whole class got promoted except Hisham who was in LT and his case still pending. So we got our slips and slip out of school as soon as possible.
Nervewrecking experience. I have been standing on thin ice for the previous 3 years. Since sec 2, I had a problem with promoting. And I remember those days when I had a horrible English CA score and that would lead to my doom if I could not (by hook or crook) gather 50 marks for the final overall score. English was of utmost importance then, with regards to promotion. Sec 3 I also got an almost "condition" promotion, but was saved by the school. Why am I always in such a situation? I have to ask myself.
But thinking on the brighter side, it's always an exciting adventure, with a good ending.
That's all, I thought of blogging about other stuff, past few days and stuff but I decided not to (somehow).
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Sprinting Nose
I woke up at 5am this morning, (4:59am) to be exact. Stunning? Nah, I went back to semi conscious sleep and woke up at intervals of 1 hour. I was thinking ' why is it taking the sun so long to rise!! ". So finally I woke up at 9am.
I feel like a failure. I wanted to complete 2 pages of Revolutionary Etude by last sunday. It's tuesday already and Im still stuck on page 2 2nd line.
I feel like a failure. I wanted to complete 2 pages of Revolutionary Etude by last sunday. It's tuesday already and Im still stuck on page 2 2nd line.
Monday, November 5, 2007
I don't know why. Im in a state of emotional malaise today. Too lazy to post the reasons. But Ive been really sad/emo/disturbed since last night till now, I don't know why. My heart is like a desert, and occasionally, a sand storm will brew in it. It's so on and off. I'm like a guy suffering from moodswings. That sucks, totally. I hate it, I hate feeling okay one moment and not okay another, just so random. Is this what people call depression? I bury my sorrow under a false mask of happiness,I give all my best, just to smile.
Wavering, wavering. Everything is wavering. Everything is unstable.
I find myself periodically feeling depressed. Sunday, Monday are days when I get real bad, and then things get better on tues,wed,thurs then Friday-saturday there's this building up effect. I suffer from this weekly periodic depression. Does the days have anything to do with anything? I don't know, perhaps it's related to the events on these days. Sunday is a day whereby I am home the entire day after church, and there is a great tendency to be woolgathering. And woolgathering, certainly leads to destructive thoughts.
I should stop provoking myself. I should stop testing my limits. But once in awhile, is there happiness in indulging in sadness? Why is it sometimes when things feel so fine, I always get this urge to make myself sad. There's this urge, there's this impulse to scratch that wound and let sorrow overwhelm me.
I don't know. I am starting to think very abstractly and perhaps I will even need higher level introspection to find my answers.
I would like to believe in "what doesn't kill me make me stronger". But it is more likely that "what doesn't kill me now might kill me in it's next shot/wave/pulse/relapse".
Ive lost all mood to do anything today. But I have been distracting myself. I have tried my best in distracting myself.
It's just today, I don't know why. Just today. What is so significant about today? I can't figure out. Ive been fine, Ive been really doing well, not thinking too much about the past, Ive been enjoying my life, until today. today, today. What happened? All of the sudden? It's like a blast from the past, unexpectedly, taken me hostage, just for one day and hopefully only one day (which will end pretty soon). I am taken aback, but the abrupt vice of depression that grips me, so suddenly and in such an 'out of the blue' fashion.
Ive been so weak today, emoness has reached it's state of repletion (at least in respect to daily life). Weak, weaker, weakest. There are times when people are weak, that is undeniable but what leads to this question is what are the factors to leading to why people get weak all of a sudden.
I am totally amused, totally stunned but this whole episode today. It is the abruptness that caught me off guard. What is behind all the mechanism of my body and my mind that caused a "time-replay" just today. The main point here, is I don't understand the timing, how the timing is decided, and why all of the sudden (when im doing fine all the while). What determines, what defines and what leads to being weak of a sudden. What? Is it our own thoughts? I can't figure out. And the reason behind my desperate curiousity is because I don't want such abrupt distruptions, totally uncalled for, appearing here and there. Like apparitions, freaky apparitions, I want to know it's cause and put an end to it. But yet, I don't think I will be able to find a cause for this "sudden weakness".
Maybe the solution lies with not thinking too much. Distraction is certainly a key solution and perhaps I have not explored it's potential. I have to either get better at distracting myself or get better at talking to myself. I have to snipe all that woolgathering from my life if I want to get better.
To digress. Project work finally came to an end today on a high note, OP presentation. I think our group fared pretty decently as compared to the other group that went after us which our group members classed as "cmi". It's not good to judge, but sometimes inequalities are too evident and noticable. But still, project work is just project work. School is only a small portion of our lives, one aspect and project work is just one of that many small aspects of School. A percentage of a percentage will yield a small percentage. And even within that small percentage (PW), we get another small percentage (OP), do the math, and you'll realise OP has been given alot more attention then it's worth. But still, I disagree with the concept of project work. (and I will elaborate futhur on another day, this post is getting dramatically lengthy).
At least tommorow will (hopefully) be a day of distraction. I have piano in the morning, then badminton in the afternoon and thai class in the evening. Totally packed, I love being busy. I hate days where I sit at home idle the entire day.
To be realistic, this post has served it's purpose. I snapped out of all that emoness after blogging (and feeling refresh). What kind of therapy is this? Bloggrapy.(lol!). And it certainly works, for me.
Wavering, wavering. Everything is wavering. Everything is unstable.
I find myself periodically feeling depressed. Sunday, Monday are days when I get real bad, and then things get better on tues,wed,thurs then Friday-saturday there's this building up effect. I suffer from this weekly periodic depression. Does the days have anything to do with anything? I don't know, perhaps it's related to the events on these days. Sunday is a day whereby I am home the entire day after church, and there is a great tendency to be woolgathering. And woolgathering, certainly leads to destructive thoughts.
I should stop provoking myself. I should stop testing my limits. But once in awhile, is there happiness in indulging in sadness? Why is it sometimes when things feel so fine, I always get this urge to make myself sad. There's this urge, there's this impulse to scratch that wound and let sorrow overwhelm me.
I don't know. I am starting to think very abstractly and perhaps I will even need higher level introspection to find my answers.
I would like to believe in "what doesn't kill me make me stronger". But it is more likely that "what doesn't kill me now might kill me in it's next shot/wave/pulse/relapse".
Ive lost all mood to do anything today. But I have been distracting myself. I have tried my best in distracting myself.
It's just today, I don't know why. Just today. What is so significant about today? I can't figure out. Ive been fine, Ive been really doing well, not thinking too much about the past, Ive been enjoying my life, until today. today, today. What happened? All of the sudden? It's like a blast from the past, unexpectedly, taken me hostage, just for one day and hopefully only one day (which will end pretty soon). I am taken aback, but the abrupt vice of depression that grips me, so suddenly and in such an 'out of the blue' fashion.
Ive been so weak today, emoness has reached it's state of repletion (at least in respect to daily life). Weak, weaker, weakest. There are times when people are weak, that is undeniable but what leads to this question is what are the factors to leading to why people get weak all of a sudden.
I am totally amused, totally stunned but this whole episode today. It is the abruptness that caught me off guard. What is behind all the mechanism of my body and my mind that caused a "time-replay" just today. The main point here, is I don't understand the timing, how the timing is decided, and why all of the sudden (when im doing fine all the while). What determines, what defines and what leads to being weak of a sudden. What? Is it our own thoughts? I can't figure out. And the reason behind my desperate curiousity is because I don't want such abrupt distruptions, totally uncalled for, appearing here and there. Like apparitions, freaky apparitions, I want to know it's cause and put an end to it. But yet, I don't think I will be able to find a cause for this "sudden weakness".
Maybe the solution lies with not thinking too much. Distraction is certainly a key solution and perhaps I have not explored it's potential. I have to either get better at distracting myself or get better at talking to myself. I have to snipe all that woolgathering from my life if I want to get better.
To digress. Project work finally came to an end today on a high note, OP presentation. I think our group fared pretty decently as compared to the other group that went after us which our group members classed as "cmi". It's not good to judge, but sometimes inequalities are too evident and noticable. But still, project work is just project work. School is only a small portion of our lives, one aspect and project work is just one of that many small aspects of School. A percentage of a percentage will yield a small percentage. And even within that small percentage (PW), we get another small percentage (OP), do the math, and you'll realise OP has been given alot more attention then it's worth. But still, I disagree with the concept of project work. (and I will elaborate futhur on another day, this post is getting dramatically lengthy).
At least tommorow will (hopefully) be a day of distraction. I have piano in the morning, then badminton in the afternoon and thai class in the evening. Totally packed, I love being busy. I hate days where I sit at home idle the entire day.
To be realistic, this post has served it's purpose. I snapped out of all that emoness after blogging (and feeling refresh). What kind of therapy is this? Bloggrapy.(lol!). And it certainly works, for me.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Laziness brings me back
To be honest I almost wanted to scrap this site and rebuild it on wordpress. But the laziness within me refuses to accomodate. Struggling, struggling, I find myself settling back here. With great determination I set off but laziness eventually drags me back here. I find myself too engrossed in lazing around to be occupied with HTML and css style sheets. (when there are better things I can do..)..I actually blogged one post on that 'new' blog of mine. And I am lazy to repeat everything I have written again. (mainly about yesterday..)
I have absolutely nothing to blog about today.
Tommorow will be the actual day for OP, and that marks the end of the gruelling battle against project work. The actual thing lasts for an hour but we will have to sit there to be dummy audiences for other groups. Woah, great. Great. I shall begin my relentless flaming of project work after everything has ended tommorow. Look forward to it, acidic, corrosive words! Don't worry there will not be anything invective in nature.
(ive seen people like Engyian and I suspect, derek too flame Project work. I too, should follow the "intellectual" gang), and again Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.
And before I forget, I must bring my tie tommorow.
Will playing too much of my Nintendo DS be a redound to one's intelligence, or is it otherwise? I find myself playing too much Yugioh (a card game by the way), extremely adictive, and I find myself weak and groggy after too much of it. Perhaps, even if I would want to induldge in a lifeless lives, I should probably find more salubrious means.
Ah, It's been a long time since I got some excercise. I need to start running and regain my 2.4 timing...I must play some badminton next week. It's still fun, exciting, but I find my drive irresolute and languid, wavering passion. I no longer seek to improve, I no longer seek to go all out on every shot and improve my speed continously. I have abandoned that journey, and now my focus is shifted to other things.
But what?
Never mind, what a meaningless excursus.
I guess blogging, when you have nothing to say, is extremely detrimental to your mind, as well as "self-esteem". I don't see the particular link between both but, I just feel that way. And it's okay to say what you feel. Hope I made some sense (I don't really get myself too).
I guess I will stop blabbing on meaninglessly here. And before I forget, facebook is actually more entertaining than I thought....
And for maple peeps out there, there is actually a maplestory ANIME avaliable for download. I watched episode 1 and I tried not to laugh/cry out of boredom. But it was decent in the sense it could have been worst.
I have absolutely nothing to blog about today.
Tommorow will be the actual day for OP, and that marks the end of the gruelling battle against project work. The actual thing lasts for an hour but we will have to sit there to be dummy audiences for other groups. Woah, great. Great. I shall begin my relentless flaming of project work after everything has ended tommorow. Look forward to it, acidic, corrosive words! Don't worry there will not be anything invective in nature.
(ive seen people like Engyian and I suspect, derek too flame Project work. I too, should follow the "intellectual" gang), and again Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.
And before I forget, I must bring my tie tommorow.
Will playing too much of my Nintendo DS be a redound to one's intelligence, or is it otherwise? I find myself playing too much Yugioh (a card game by the way), extremely adictive, and I find myself weak and groggy after too much of it. Perhaps, even if I would want to induldge in a lifeless lives, I should probably find more salubrious means.
Ah, It's been a long time since I got some excercise. I need to start running and regain my 2.4 timing...I must play some badminton next week. It's still fun, exciting, but I find my drive irresolute and languid, wavering passion. I no longer seek to improve, I no longer seek to go all out on every shot and improve my speed continously. I have abandoned that journey, and now my focus is shifted to other things.
But what?
Never mind, what a meaningless excursus.
I guess blogging, when you have nothing to say, is extremely detrimental to your mind, as well as "self-esteem". I don't see the particular link between both but, I just feel that way. And it's okay to say what you feel. Hope I made some sense (I don't really get myself too).
I guess I will stop blabbing on meaninglessly here. And before I forget, facebook is actually more entertaining than I thought....
And for maple peeps out there, there is actually a maplestory ANIME avaliable for download. I watched episode 1 and I tried not to laugh/cry out of boredom. But it was decent in the sense it could have been worst.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Finally the R4
I know this is going to be another meaningless post. infact, very.
I just got my R4 yesterday for Nintendo DS. Hitched a rike from my dad and went to Bp plaza. It costed me 84 bucks (Im not sure whether I was being ripped but to be honest I don't really care. What can I do anyway? I have no bargaining rights in the first place because I didn't do any study on that gadget). 84 seems decent to me, so I clinched the deal.
Didn't have that trusty ezlink card with me. For some reason, my ezlink (student) is being recognised as "invalid" for the time being. Too lazy to figure out what happened but I have been travelling using coins. Taking Lrt back from Bp plaza is going to be a tedious journey, so I settled (ironically) with a more tedious journey. I hate waiting, infact, I rather walk than hop on public transport. So I begun my journey. It was about a 35-45 minute walk from bp plaza to my house.
So I reached home, and in great fervour and excitement I ripped apart all that box and wrapping that came with it. With haste, I loaded my games, popped it into my NDS and hoped for it to work.
Voila, not. It did not work. It was missnig some menu.dat file. Which upon research I found out that there was supposed to be a CD that came with it (but DID NOT). So I had to hop onto the website and download the manually. This totally dampered my enthuiasim...
Finally got it working. Tried couple of games...
What's on my list now
1) Bombermand Land touch
2) Tetris DS
3) Brainage
4) Harvest Moon DS
5) Yugioh World championships 2007
6) Digimon World Dawn
7) Full Metal Alchemist Dual Sympathy
Intend to load more games in. Brainage is a killer, but I don't think one can last very long on that game (and the game itself doesn't provide much to last more than 30 minutes each go, it's like a warm-up dS game). Harvest moon seems pretty decent. I know my choice of games are pretty unorthodox, new age games don't exactly apply to me. I remember thos days when I played the Playstation I settled with the more unknown and unpopular RPGS. I remember how much I loved Digimon World and it's card battle.
Yugioh is just too nostalgic for me.
Haven't really played bomberman and tetris, but as far as I know.....FMA dual sympathy is really one crappy game.
Okay ending here.
I nida bathe.
Cya later
I just got my R4 yesterday for Nintendo DS. Hitched a rike from my dad and went to Bp plaza. It costed me 84 bucks (Im not sure whether I was being ripped but to be honest I don't really care. What can I do anyway? I have no bargaining rights in the first place because I didn't do any study on that gadget). 84 seems decent to me, so I clinched the deal.
Didn't have that trusty ezlink card with me. For some reason, my ezlink (student) is being recognised as "invalid" for the time being. Too lazy to figure out what happened but I have been travelling using coins. Taking Lrt back from Bp plaza is going to be a tedious journey, so I settled (ironically) with a more tedious journey. I hate waiting, infact, I rather walk than hop on public transport. So I begun my journey. It was about a 35-45 minute walk from bp plaza to my house.
So I reached home, and in great fervour and excitement I ripped apart all that box and wrapping that came with it. With haste, I loaded my games, popped it into my NDS and hoped for it to work.
Voila, not. It did not work. It was missnig some menu.dat file. Which upon research I found out that there was supposed to be a CD that came with it (but DID NOT). So I had to hop onto the website and download the manually. This totally dampered my enthuiasim...
Finally got it working. Tried couple of games...
What's on my list now
1) Bombermand Land touch
2) Tetris DS
3) Brainage
4) Harvest Moon DS
5) Yugioh World championships 2007
6) Digimon World Dawn
7) Full Metal Alchemist Dual Sympathy
Intend to load more games in. Brainage is a killer, but I don't think one can last very long on that game (and the game itself doesn't provide much to last more than 30 minutes each go, it's like a warm-up dS game). Harvest moon seems pretty decent. I know my choice of games are pretty unorthodox, new age games don't exactly apply to me. I remember thos days when I played the Playstation I settled with the more unknown and unpopular RPGS. I remember how much I loved Digimon World and it's card battle.
Yugioh is just too nostalgic for me.
Haven't really played bomberman and tetris, but as far as I know.....FMA dual sympathy is really one crappy game.
Okay ending here.
I nida bathe.
Cya later
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Expect
Dex asked me to create a new blogskin for him, and I will. At the same time, I shall go make one for myself.
Expect to see a new blogskin by next week.
Nothing much to post about.
Cya
:)
Expect to see a new blogskin by next week.
Nothing much to post about.
Cya
:)
Early morning
I find myself waking up unusually early these days. 6 plus and I'm already semi-conscious and lazing around in bed. And by 7 im usually thinking of getting up and 7:15 I'm already walking around. This is so unnatural, weird. I don't get my body system sometimes. Actually, holidays are good days to be waking up early.
Tayye ponned school today. He was supposed to go sch, he got up, then he went to bathe. Then he came out of the bathroom "ahhh i think i do't want to go to school ". I'm so proud of my brother man, that's so like me! Imitation is probably the most sincere form of flattery.
Im not sure what Im gonna do today. I know I gotta pia music theory because exams are on saturday. And for some reason, I feel so noob, both in theory and playing. My left hand veins pop like anything whenver I play revolutionary etude. but now, just some consolation, Im on the 2nd page, and 2/5 of it.Wee, all in just one morning. waking up early is good.
Ahh nothing much today. Lifeless rotting, Bleach, Dota, piano lesson, sleeping...rotting.
Oh and Im reading my dads book, "citibanks guide to personal wealth", seems interesting...
Tayye ponned school today. He was supposed to go sch, he got up, then he went to bathe. Then he came out of the bathroom "ahhh i think i do't want to go to school ". I'm so proud of my brother man, that's so like me! Imitation is probably the most sincere form of flattery.
Im not sure what Im gonna do today. I know I gotta pia music theory because exams are on saturday. And for some reason, I feel so noob, both in theory and playing. My left hand veins pop like anything whenver I play revolutionary etude. but now, just some consolation, Im on the 2nd page, and 2/5 of it.Wee, all in just one morning. waking up early is good.
Ahh nothing much today. Lifeless rotting, Bleach, Dota, piano lesson, sleeping...rotting.
Oh and Im reading my dads book, "citibanks guide to personal wealth", seems interesting...
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Just when I thought...
I don't really have the mood to blog now. The windows are all closed, the aircon isn't on and Im in an oxygen deprived condition here typing.
Went to school for Op rehearsal today. Nothing much. And then I completely forgot how I spend my entire afternoon. But I know im done with one page of Revolutionary Etude. Not perfect, no where near perfection, (the thought of it completely sickens me btw)...., Im striving for a two page completion by this sunday. Possible? Perhaps, because the 2nd page has repeats. Wahahhahaa.
Oh then there was thai mission trip meeting. I still think thai songs are nice.
And then had late supper with nicholas benita and my brother. And I didn't know popiah with extra hot chilli can kill your mouth! It was tough, but again, there was this arcane sense of satisfaction as I devoured that last piece of spicy popiah...
Went to school for Op rehearsal today. Nothing much. And then I completely forgot how I spend my entire afternoon. But I know im done with one page of Revolutionary Etude. Not perfect, no where near perfection, (the thought of it completely sickens me btw)...., Im striving for a two page completion by this sunday. Possible? Perhaps, because the 2nd page has repeats. Wahahhahaa.
Oh then there was thai mission trip meeting. I still think thai songs are nice.
And then had late supper with nicholas benita and my brother. And I didn't know popiah with extra hot chilli can kill your mouth! It was tough, but again, there was this arcane sense of satisfaction as I devoured that last piece of spicy popiah...
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
The days that go by...
Today I made a startling discovery-time flies. (even without wings). Another lifeless day today, actually for a change I went for some badminton with Alan. Played for 3 hour plus till both of us were soaked like anything. I remember those days where people stopped viewing my blog because everything in my blog is about badminton. I used to be so badminton crazy, I used to be so passionate, now what has happened? perhaps, I too, cannot remain faithful to something which I thought would be part of my life forever. Where is that thrill? That thrill, that excitment, the racing beat of my heart. Everything effaced. All of them, all diminished into nothingness. Today, I stand as a social recreational player. (I wasn't that competitive anyway). What I am refering to is attitude. I don't take it serious anymore. I don't take it hard at all. I just want to relax and enjoy, and for the sake of excercise. Perhaps, this is what people mean by "erosion of time"...
Perhaps every fraction of our lives we will have something that is important. And when we look back we will laugh at our sillyness. (and you know I just had this urge to I-ised something!).
Ive lost count. Ive lost count of how many days, how many weeks, or months have passed. I know to evade deleterious consequences I have to be evasive.
I think losing count of the days is a good sign. Infact, I don't feel anything when I reflect back now. I feel nothing. To sum up, perhap it should be a blessing in disguise. Infact, it really is. Though I can't control my subconsicous inner being while I sleep, but during the day, I am back to the perfectly normal happy happy me. I never practiced the piano so much in my life before (till my hands go sore..), I never appreciated music so much. I never been closer to God in my life before, Ive made new friends, gotten to know more people. And most importantly, I have more time on my hands now. (though responsbilities are piling). I don't miss her anymore.
Perhaps, things, interests, hobbies and passions are more worthy of love than human beings.
And I wasn't digressing, it was to prove that even looking back at what happened months back, I feel silly. I laugh at myself.
But I know, life isn't getting easier. Life's gonna be tough. tougher.
Seriously, I always wonder who will ever ever read the emo sections of my post. I don't think it will make sense to any of you out there. I mean, seriously. (not in the literal sense), but there are few in this world who can understand me well. It is an irrefragable evidence of ignorance if you think you do. I am not dismissing that claim as impossible, because I know of people who do (well almost close to perfection). Even I am struggling to find out more about myself. All I know is I am impulsive, I am random, I am unpredictable.
" Don't try to claim my title of emo king " alan.
He told me that...LOL. or something along those lines. And it was so random, in the mrt.
I am probably suffering from some wierdish disease. I always get the urge to blog and I feel obliged to lengthen my posts even with meaningless emo postes (even though I am not exactly entirely feeling emo), because it sucks to preview my post and see such a short chunk of word. An arcane sense of satisfaction when I publish a long post.
At least for the time being, let me induldge in lazing around, and also working on those seemingly left hand wrecking Revolutionary Etude. It sucks, when you know you're never gonna play it perfect. It sucks, when you know you know you're not up to the mark to play it, yet there is this burning and undying passion to learn it. The sound of this etude is remarkably distinct. (even the first chord is like so "revolutionary-ish"). I'm still at the beginning stages of the piece, but all I can say I look forward to the day when I can play the entire thing decently. The sound of it, I can say is rather "depressing" yet "englightening". I find it's nature very conflicting, I don't know why. This is no official professional analysis of a song, it's just some random "my-gut-feeling" or emotions when I hear it. It's a very unique piece. honestly speaking. But still, I am determined not to abandon "rondo alla turca".
I don't know why. I have this mysterious fear for switches. The toilet in my mum's room, has this switch which short-circuits very frequently. And when one attempts to turn it on, one would feel a very "sensational, tinklish" feeling on one's fingers. An electric shock, well, a mild on. BUt not pleasant. A very unpleasant and displeasing feeling. I get this phobia of switches and I always close my eyes and hope it will not trip! Yucks.
Run out of crap to post. Cya later.
Perhaps every fraction of our lives we will have something that is important. And when we look back we will laugh at our sillyness. (and you know I just had this urge to I-ised something!).
Ive lost count. Ive lost count of how many days, how many weeks, or months have passed. I know to evade deleterious consequences I have to be evasive.
I think losing count of the days is a good sign. Infact, I don't feel anything when I reflect back now. I feel nothing. To sum up, perhap it should be a blessing in disguise. Infact, it really is. Though I can't control my subconsicous inner being while I sleep, but during the day, I am back to the perfectly normal happy happy me. I never practiced the piano so much in my life before (till my hands go sore..), I never appreciated music so much. I never been closer to God in my life before, Ive made new friends, gotten to know more people. And most importantly, I have more time on my hands now. (though responsbilities are piling). I don't miss her anymore.
Perhaps, things, interests, hobbies and passions are more worthy of love than human beings.
And I wasn't digressing, it was to prove that even looking back at what happened months back, I feel silly. I laugh at myself.
But I know, life isn't getting easier. Life's gonna be tough. tougher.
Seriously, I always wonder who will ever ever read the emo sections of my post. I don't think it will make sense to any of you out there. I mean, seriously. (not in the literal sense), but there are few in this world who can understand me well. It is an irrefragable evidence of ignorance if you think you do. I am not dismissing that claim as impossible, because I know of people who do (well almost close to perfection). Even I am struggling to find out more about myself. All I know is I am impulsive, I am random, I am unpredictable.
" Don't try to claim my title of emo king " alan.
He told me that...LOL. or something along those lines. And it was so random, in the mrt.
I am probably suffering from some wierdish disease. I always get the urge to blog and I feel obliged to lengthen my posts even with meaningless emo postes (even though I am not exactly entirely feeling emo), because it sucks to preview my post and see such a short chunk of word. An arcane sense of satisfaction when I publish a long post.
At least for the time being, let me induldge in lazing around, and also working on those seemingly left hand wrecking Revolutionary Etude. It sucks, when you know you're never gonna play it perfect. It sucks, when you know you know you're not up to the mark to play it, yet there is this burning and undying passion to learn it. The sound of this etude is remarkably distinct. (even the first chord is like so "revolutionary-ish"). I'm still at the beginning stages of the piece, but all I can say I look forward to the day when I can play the entire thing decently. The sound of it, I can say is rather "depressing" yet "englightening". I find it's nature very conflicting, I don't know why. This is no official professional analysis of a song, it's just some random "my-gut-feeling" or emotions when I hear it. It's a very unique piece. honestly speaking. But still, I am determined not to abandon "rondo alla turca".
I don't know why. I have this mysterious fear for switches. The toilet in my mum's room, has this switch which short-circuits very frequently. And when one attempts to turn it on, one would feel a very "sensational, tinklish" feeling on one's fingers. An electric shock, well, a mild on. BUt not pleasant. A very unpleasant and displeasing feeling. I get this phobia of switches and I always close my eyes and hope it will not trip! Yucks.
Run out of crap to post. Cya later.
Some random videos (amusing
this is teh imbal!!
been a long time since I went badminton searching on youtube. Lindan gay deceptive skills. And it was double deception!
Anyway nothing much to post about. been crapping around at home messing with revolutionary etude.
Now I know.
If you see someone with his left arm bigger than his right, u know he played revolutionary etude.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Last ever
Chinese Alevels couple of hours back.
Chinese for me, (academically), has reached terminus.
As I reached school I was greeted by a nasty truth,a rude shock, (or I should have seen it coming). I forgot my trusty entry proof. As a safety net, we can always rely on our general office who would gladly print our entry proofs for us. Not for free, not for a few cents, but for a purple note. So it was a deal, an 'equitable' one. The drawback was, a series of caustic remarks from our principal. Why, (even under such circumstances), hide their joy beneath a mendacious mask when they are secretly happy because of the "expected" purple-note harvest. Queued up for some time, I would say 15 minutes or more. And finally got my entry proof. As I wrote my name on "purchase of entry proof", I realised that I'm the 60th person who bought entry proofs. 120 bucks and more (lotsa people behind me). Money party! Be happy. Earning money out of desperate circumstances of people ain't ethical.
Actually the truth was, I knew I didn't bring my entry proof along, because I was lazy to dig my out (whereby it is very likely I will find it fossilized).
The paper itself went okay. I didn't like the fact they started 10 minutes late because that would delay going home. And to make matters not better, they had to introduce a 15 minute stone-ing break inbetween part 1 and 2. It was supposed to be a straight continous paper with break. You weren't allowed to leave your seat, but it was a break. At that point of time, I was feeling soooo hungry. When I heard there was a break, I was so grateful. But then, when the break was actually a 10 minutes "do not leave your seat" break, I laid back in disappointment, dismay. My face sunk to the table and I went back to sleep. Thanks invigilators, for getting my hopes up.
Paper 1 was okay. I didn't really like the topic, yet I didn't hate it as well. I tried to pace myself. I didn't want an excess of like say 30 minutes+ to be left rotting staring at people rush their last few lines or frantically trying to rewrite their essay (but i don't think that will be happening). I wrote at the slowest pace ever. Like a snail, I slowly processed my words and phrased sentences in my head before writing them down. Even pressing the buttons on the E-dictionary never seemed so laggy before. I was on a mission, a deliberate one to make sure I finish somewhere near the finishing point. Not on some alienated time where I have to wait. I hate waiting.
I stopped at the third page at a very comfortable conclusion. (yes I probably ended by compo with a tonic, oh well. whatever). And then I looked up, and squint my eyes and look at the time.
GOSH, there's still 30 minutes.
So I waited and waited for part 2 to begin. 30 minutes passed, then they gave instructions to paste the barcode. (cool! been some time since I sticked one so, was a really exciting experience). It took not more than 10 minutes.
Then, I was really hoping for part 2 to begin. Then they annouced the "fake break". Some shitty useless interval without any meaning. It adds on to my waiting torture. I want to go home. I rested 30 minutes already! Seriously, they should consider reducing the time because there is too much time already...
So part 2 begun after a long, boring wait. I didn't really like part 2. Infact, I hate gruelling comprehension passages and tons of vocabuarly. I feel like an alien on Earth whenver I do part 2. Nothing but comprehension, nothing but filling in numbers, alphabets, chinese words and writing nonsensical stuff under a certain word limit.
Since it's the last paper of Chinese I am ever going to take in my entire life (say W-o-A-H!), I should at least make some comments on the format of paper 2. Or rather, the allocation of marks. What I would say actually is that one MCQ question weighin 4 marks is extremely expensive. Not to mention, the last section where we really have to pick our pens up and write a paragraph length of characters are at most worth only 8 marks. (with the cheapest one at 6 marks). Is there something wrong? Does it only bother me that MCQ questions and those 'fill in the blankies" are abit too hefty? Does it make answernig open ended question not worth it at all. It seems to be that the paper was set (as in format of marks) in a very unprofessional way. But I don't have any right to whine about it. Afterall, it wll not affect me anymore.
I did the paper with great impulse. Filing in blanks with what comes to mind first. The firstlings of my heart shall be the firstlings of my pen. But thanks to that, time crawled, time staggered and I waited another 15-30 minutes till the end of the paper.
great, 11:45. Dismissal time (when we actually left the hall). when the paper was supposed to end at 11 sharp. MOE should train their invigilators to pick up their pace while collecting papers. They should be well trained in the fine art of picking up scripts, tossing them into their arms and walking at a jogging pace effortlessly. Otherwise, students have to wait at least 10 minutes. Don't complain when students are making noise because it is inevitable to feel restless while these invigilators take their own sweet time collecting papers.
You never know, perhaps in 2017, there will be conveyer belts beneath our seats and we just toss our papers there. The machine will COUNT the scripts, stack them and submit them to MOE. Or perhaps, there will be a teleporation machine. And i think I am more inclined to believe we will be doing our homework, exams all on tablet PC.
And no, tablet PC is not a PC you take with water,when you're sick.
Speaking about touch screen technology. It seems that more and more gadgets are being touch-fied. Not I cannot resist the need (or desire) to own an IPOD touch. Perhaps this is a scheme, a holy scheme for the good of mankind. There will not be rapist or molesters in this world because everyone would be too busy touching their own gadgets. That would be nice. BS, more BS from me.Ah fine.
Been rather busy today. Busy and carried away with playing and enjoying life. Ive been playing the piano, playing dota (couple of games today), as well as reading Prince of Tennis manga. Though it is undeniable that reading Manga online is certainly detrimental to eyesight, as well as it can get VERY boring and montonous after awhile, Prince of tennis never fails to amuse me. And fuji's last counter is really really amazing. I don't want to blabber blabber on, you'd have to read to find out. PoT is just sooo nostalgic. And at the same time, paradoxically, refreshing.
Well, my family is out at causeway (grr im too lazy). I wonder if my brother will pick up an R4 for my DS soon. And I persuaded my dad to get me an Ipod touch. It seems like everything is pending and when he gets less busy, he will probably get me one.
A pretty lifeless day. It's been a while since I lived a life like this.
Moving on. I see myself on the upper portion of this sinusoidal curve of recovery. The day I look forward to is the day when I look back and feel undisturbed. That day is far, but it will certainly come. There are alot other things in life I have discovered, and how foolish was I to waste my life.
Memories are pugnacious. And all I can do is to constantly evade. I have to be strong. I have to lubricate the inner walls of my heart because friction between the past and present can cause sparks, flames and caustic explosions within me.
I must remain like this.
Chinese for me, (academically), has reached terminus.
As I reached school I was greeted by a nasty truth,a rude shock, (or I should have seen it coming). I forgot my trusty entry proof. As a safety net, we can always rely on our general office who would gladly print our entry proofs for us. Not for free, not for a few cents, but for a purple note. So it was a deal, an 'equitable' one. The drawback was, a series of caustic remarks from our principal. Why, (even under such circumstances), hide their joy beneath a mendacious mask when they are secretly happy because of the "expected" purple-note harvest. Queued up for some time, I would say 15 minutes or more. And finally got my entry proof. As I wrote my name on "purchase of entry proof", I realised that I'm the 60th person who bought entry proofs. 120 bucks and more (lotsa people behind me). Money party! Be happy. Earning money out of desperate circumstances of people ain't ethical.
Actually the truth was, I knew I didn't bring my entry proof along, because I was lazy to dig my out (whereby it is very likely I will find it fossilized).
The paper itself went okay. I didn't like the fact they started 10 minutes late because that would delay going home. And to make matters not better, they had to introduce a 15 minute stone-ing break inbetween part 1 and 2. It was supposed to be a straight continous paper with break. You weren't allowed to leave your seat, but it was a break. At that point of time, I was feeling soooo hungry. When I heard there was a break, I was so grateful. But then, when the break was actually a 10 minutes "do not leave your seat" break, I laid back in disappointment, dismay. My face sunk to the table and I went back to sleep. Thanks invigilators, for getting my hopes up.
Paper 1 was okay. I didn't really like the topic, yet I didn't hate it as well. I tried to pace myself. I didn't want an excess of like say 30 minutes+ to be left rotting staring at people rush their last few lines or frantically trying to rewrite their essay (but i don't think that will be happening). I wrote at the slowest pace ever. Like a snail, I slowly processed my words and phrased sentences in my head before writing them down. Even pressing the buttons on the E-dictionary never seemed so laggy before. I was on a mission, a deliberate one to make sure I finish somewhere near the finishing point. Not on some alienated time where I have to wait. I hate waiting.
I stopped at the third page at a very comfortable conclusion. (yes I probably ended by compo with a tonic, oh well. whatever). And then I looked up, and squint my eyes and look at the time.
GOSH, there's still 30 minutes.
So I waited and waited for part 2 to begin. 30 minutes passed, then they gave instructions to paste the barcode. (cool! been some time since I sticked one so, was a really exciting experience). It took not more than 10 minutes.
Then, I was really hoping for part 2 to begin. Then they annouced the "fake break". Some shitty useless interval without any meaning. It adds on to my waiting torture. I want to go home. I rested 30 minutes already! Seriously, they should consider reducing the time because there is too much time already...
So part 2 begun after a long, boring wait. I didn't really like part 2. Infact, I hate gruelling comprehension passages and tons of vocabuarly. I feel like an alien on Earth whenver I do part 2. Nothing but comprehension, nothing but filling in numbers, alphabets, chinese words and writing nonsensical stuff under a certain word limit.
Since it's the last paper of Chinese I am ever going to take in my entire life (say W-o-A-H!), I should at least make some comments on the format of paper 2. Or rather, the allocation of marks. What I would say actually is that one MCQ question weighin 4 marks is extremely expensive. Not to mention, the last section where we really have to pick our pens up and write a paragraph length of characters are at most worth only 8 marks. (with the cheapest one at 6 marks). Is there something wrong? Does it only bother me that MCQ questions and those 'fill in the blankies" are abit too hefty? Does it make answernig open ended question not worth it at all. It seems to be that the paper was set (as in format of marks) in a very unprofessional way. But I don't have any right to whine about it. Afterall, it wll not affect me anymore.
I did the paper with great impulse. Filing in blanks with what comes to mind first. The firstlings of my heart shall be the firstlings of my pen. But thanks to that, time crawled, time staggered and I waited another 15-30 minutes till the end of the paper.
great, 11:45. Dismissal time (when we actually left the hall). when the paper was supposed to end at 11 sharp. MOE should train their invigilators to pick up their pace while collecting papers. They should be well trained in the fine art of picking up scripts, tossing them into their arms and walking at a jogging pace effortlessly. Otherwise, students have to wait at least 10 minutes. Don't complain when students are making noise because it is inevitable to feel restless while these invigilators take their own sweet time collecting papers.
You never know, perhaps in 2017, there will be conveyer belts beneath our seats and we just toss our papers there. The machine will COUNT the scripts, stack them and submit them to MOE. Or perhaps, there will be a teleporation machine. And i think I am more inclined to believe we will be doing our homework, exams all on tablet PC.
And no, tablet PC is not a PC you take with water,when you're sick.
Speaking about touch screen technology. It seems that more and more gadgets are being touch-fied. Not I cannot resist the need (or desire) to own an IPOD touch. Perhaps this is a scheme, a holy scheme for the good of mankind. There will not be rapist or molesters in this world because everyone would be too busy touching their own gadgets. That would be nice. BS, more BS from me.Ah fine.
Been rather busy today. Busy and carried away with playing and enjoying life. Ive been playing the piano, playing dota (couple of games today), as well as reading Prince of Tennis manga. Though it is undeniable that reading Manga online is certainly detrimental to eyesight, as well as it can get VERY boring and montonous after awhile, Prince of tennis never fails to amuse me. And fuji's last counter is really really amazing. I don't want to blabber blabber on, you'd have to read to find out. PoT is just sooo nostalgic. And at the same time, paradoxically, refreshing.
Well, my family is out at causeway (grr im too lazy). I wonder if my brother will pick up an R4 for my DS soon. And I persuaded my dad to get me an Ipod touch. It seems like everything is pending and when he gets less busy, he will probably get me one.
A pretty lifeless day. It's been a while since I lived a life like this.
Moving on. I see myself on the upper portion of this sinusoidal curve of recovery. The day I look forward to is the day when I look back and feel undisturbed. That day is far, but it will certainly come. There are alot other things in life I have discovered, and how foolish was I to waste my life.
Memories are pugnacious. And all I can do is to constantly evade. I have to be strong. I have to lubricate the inner walls of my heart because friction between the past and present can cause sparks, flames and caustic explosions within me.
I must remain like this.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Geminate Post
Doublepost! Anyway I got too carried away with crap that I forgot to post about the main event of yesterday.
I've been neglecting blogging about the things Ive been busy with, and only caring about introspection. That's lame, I know, seriously lame. but anyway yesterday was one gruelling day of art and craft. Gathered at church with thai trip people to do the gifts for the thai children. So mainly tasks were classed into three different catogsthe good the bad and the ugly the drawer, the cutting and the sticker.
So the drawer was incharge ofkeeping things you really don't want exposed drawing lines. Then the cutter would cut along those lines, and then finally the sticker would stick. It wasn't a complicated process and since I have no pictures, (and no intention of writing a thousand words to compensate one), it's pretty hard to explain. But heck, you get the picture. (no pun intended), Im not gonna explain, you're not going to know.
I started off being the drawer. Wooo, I had yellow papers that I have to cut 8.5cm by 3.0cm rectangles. sound's easy? Quite, but I have like one whole big stack of them to draw. So it's not gonna be easy. There weren't any photocopies so we had to draw all of them manually. After awhile of measuring, measuring and measuring, I realised I could do better. I could be more efficient. I decided to trace. If only papers don't slant, or they don't move when you try to trace. I tried paper clipping them together, but it happened that it makes the paper uneven on flat ground (or table) and it will make the tracing more inaccurate. Futhurmore, the pencils (which weren't mechanical) were getting blunt, so errors are definitely inevitable. (and hopefully, pardonable).
I don't know why I'm narrating this.
Then I moved on from being a drawer to become a paster. Me and Bryan double teamed to paste stuff. One would glue, the other would stick. It was super duper efficient and less energy consuming. It was like giving out cards in daidee, but I had to do that "finishing palm" technique to stick all of them properly. Wooo. It was fun, while it lasted.
Then finally I became a cutter! It was so exciting cutting papers at first. Many left due to fatigue, and I was still there cutting strips of paper. But it was fun and there was this arcane sense of accomplishment. Maybe, art and craft suits me. Nah, for someone who can't cut on straight lines, I can produce art that is worthy of the garbage bin. But perhaps art is about perception. One man's meat is another's poison. But there is something particularly disturbing about the statement. Why not " one man's poison is another's meat ". Sounds the same initially, but when you think of it, they are VERY fundamentally different. I'm getting carried away here.
So the day ended, like 3pm-8pm, it was certainly an artistic adventure that ended with a high note (or a screechy one) with my hands engulfed in crayon markings. (certainly not a very nice feeling). There was this satisfaction. I don't know why.
I forgot what I did yesterday morning. Serious.
Went for dinner last night at somewhere (I don't really take note). I think it was Cathay but im not very sure. It is probably not my first time being there but I think it is Cathay. If i'm not wrong. But actually it doesn't matter since I'm only there for dinner. It's my mum's belated birthday celebration.
The food was well, decent. I was hungry. Infact, super duper hungry. So anything tastes nice when you're hungry. Don't like to give ratings for food (especially all these really 'art of the doppelganger restaurants'), or is it my insensitive tastebuds? but either way, when Im hungry, the ratings will go up, and when im not, the ratings will go down. no way I can be professional in critiquing food. And also, to me, the most amusing fact is that waiting time matters. A hungry man is afterall, an angry man. Fresh meat....AHHH.
I don't know why Im digressing and narrating so much unimportant stuff. But heck, it's sunday evening now. And tommorow is Chinese A's. Just give me something that is respectable, and if respectable have to be defined. Let's say, give me something that is more worth it than the effort I put in. Because I totally put in zero effort for this. I am relying on pure luck. More of, give me an emo topic so I can emo my way through and get better marks for my compo. I thin for the first time in my life, I shall quit doing my Chinese papers in a total of 1 hour (upon 3 hours of time given). 3 hours is very sickening and detrimental to the welfare of my mental health, especially chinese words have to be deciphered one by one.
I bet I can read music notes more fluently than I can read Chinese.
Chinese is just so foreign to me, but I wonder if I can make a mockery out of the education system this way. Either way, no matter what happens, I must not take chinese next year. I am taking it serious but not hard. If serious have to be defined it means it's 10% of effort and if you're curious to find out what comprises the 10% of effort that would be not sleeping two thirds of the allocated time.
Alevels or not alevels. promos or not promos. Aren't chinese papers all the same, unimportant.
But still, tommorow's paper has a very intimidating tag to it.
My aim would be simple, a B. And that's all I expect from myself. Thats if I get lucky and ain't all the higher chinese Imbal freaks out of the leauge already. That saves me some trouble. But seriously, my aim is really a fantasy, unrealistic. To be down to earth, I would say I would settle with a C.
C for chinese isn't that bad. Infact, it seems better than an A because Chinese starts with a C.
Before I stop making any sense, I should actually stop posting anymore.
I've been neglecting blogging about the things Ive been busy with, and only caring about introspection. That's lame, I know, seriously lame. but anyway yesterday was one gruelling day of art and craft. Gathered at church with thai trip people to do the gifts for the thai children. So mainly tasks were classed into three different catogs
So the drawer was incharge of
I started off being the drawer. Wooo, I had yellow papers that I have to cut 8.5cm by 3.0cm rectangles. sound's easy? Quite, but I have like one whole big stack of them to draw. So it's not gonna be easy. There weren't any photocopies so we had to draw all of them manually. After awhile of measuring, measuring and measuring, I realised I could do better. I could be more efficient. I decided to trace. If only papers don't slant, or they don't move when you try to trace. I tried paper clipping them together, but it happened that it makes the paper uneven on flat ground (or table) and it will make the tracing more inaccurate. Futhurmore, the pencils (which weren't mechanical) were getting blunt, so errors are definitely inevitable. (and hopefully, pardonable).
I don't know why I'm narrating this.
Then I moved on from being a drawer to become a paster. Me and Bryan double teamed to paste stuff. One would glue, the other would stick. It was super duper efficient and less energy consuming. It was like giving out cards in daidee, but I had to do that "finishing palm" technique to stick all of them properly. Wooo. It was fun, while it lasted.
Then finally I became a cutter! It was so exciting cutting papers at first. Many left due to fatigue, and I was still there cutting strips of paper. But it was fun and there was this arcane sense of accomplishment. Maybe, art and craft suits me. Nah, for someone who can't cut on straight lines, I can produce art that is worthy of the garbage bin. But perhaps art is about perception. One man's meat is another's poison. But there is something particularly disturbing about the statement. Why not " one man's poison is another's meat ". Sounds the same initially, but when you think of it, they are VERY fundamentally different. I'm getting carried away here.
So the day ended, like 3pm-8pm, it was certainly an artistic adventure that ended with a high note (or a screechy one) with my hands engulfed in crayon markings. (certainly not a very nice feeling). There was this satisfaction. I don't know why.
I forgot what I did yesterday morning. Serious.
Went for dinner last night at somewhere (I don't really take note). I think it was Cathay but im not very sure. It is probably not my first time being there but I think it is Cathay. If i'm not wrong. But actually it doesn't matter since I'm only there for dinner. It's my mum's belated birthday celebration.
The food was well, decent. I was hungry. Infact, super duper hungry. So anything tastes nice when you're hungry. Don't like to give ratings for food (especially all these really 'art of the doppelganger restaurants'), or is it my insensitive tastebuds? but either way, when Im hungry, the ratings will go up, and when im not, the ratings will go down. no way I can be professional in critiquing food. And also, to me, the most amusing fact is that waiting time matters. A hungry man is afterall, an angry man. Fresh meat....AHHH.
I don't know why Im digressing and narrating so much unimportant stuff. But heck, it's sunday evening now. And tommorow is Chinese A's. Just give me something that is respectable, and if respectable have to be defined. Let's say, give me something that is more worth it than the effort I put in. Because I totally put in zero effort for this. I am relying on pure luck. More of, give me an emo topic so I can emo my way through and get better marks for my compo. I thin for the first time in my life, I shall quit doing my Chinese papers in a total of 1 hour (upon 3 hours of time given). 3 hours is very sickening and detrimental to the welfare of my mental health, especially chinese words have to be deciphered one by one.
I bet I can read music notes more fluently than I can read Chinese.
Chinese is just so foreign to me, but I wonder if I can make a mockery out of the education system this way. Either way, no matter what happens, I must not take chinese next year. I am taking it serious but not hard. If serious have to be defined it means it's 10% of effort and if you're curious to find out what comprises the 10% of effort that would be not sleeping two thirds of the allocated time.
Alevels or not alevels. promos or not promos. Aren't chinese papers all the same, unimportant.
But still, tommorow's paper has a very intimidating tag to it.
My aim would be simple, a B. And that's all I expect from myself. Thats if I get lucky and ain't all the higher chinese Imbal freaks out of the leauge already. That saves me some trouble. But seriously, my aim is really a fantasy, unrealistic. To be down to earth, I would say I would settle with a C.
C for chinese isn't that bad. Infact, it seems better than an A because Chinese starts with a C.
Before I stop making any sense, I should actually stop posting anymore.
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