Last ever

Chinese Alevels couple of hours back.

Chinese for me, (academically), has reached terminus.

As I reached school I was greeted by a nasty truth,a rude shock, (or I should have seen it coming). I forgot my trusty entry proof. As a safety net, we can always rely on our general office who would gladly print our entry proofs for us. Not for free, not for a few cents, but for a purple note. So it was a deal, an 'equitable' one. The drawback was, a series of caustic remarks from our principal. Why, (even under such circumstances), hide their joy beneath a mendacious mask when they are secretly happy because of the "expected" purple-note harvest. Queued up for some time, I would say 15 minutes or more. And finally got my entry proof. As I wrote my name on "purchase of entry proof", I realised that I'm the 60th person who bought entry proofs. 120 bucks and more (lotsa people behind me). Money party! Be happy. Earning money out of desperate circumstances of people ain't ethical.

Actually the truth was, I knew I didn't bring my entry proof along, because I was lazy to dig my out (whereby it is very likely I will find it fossilized).

The paper itself went okay. I didn't like the fact they started 10 minutes late because that would delay going home. And to make matters not better, they had to introduce a 15 minute stone-ing break inbetween part 1 and 2. It was supposed to be a straight continous paper with break. You weren't allowed to leave your seat, but it was a break. At that point of time, I was feeling soooo hungry. When I heard there was a break, I was so grateful. But then, when the break was actually a 10 minutes "do not leave your seat" break, I laid back in disappointment, dismay. My face sunk to the table and I went back to sleep. Thanks invigilators, for getting my hopes up.

Paper 1 was okay. I didn't really like the topic, yet I didn't hate it as well. I tried to pace myself. I didn't want an excess of like say 30 minutes+ to be left rotting staring at people rush their last few lines or frantically trying to rewrite their essay (but i don't think that will be happening). I wrote at the slowest pace ever. Like a snail, I slowly processed my words and phrased sentences in my head before writing them down. Even pressing the buttons on the E-dictionary never seemed so laggy before. I was on a mission, a deliberate one to make sure I finish somewhere near the finishing point. Not on some alienated time where I have to wait. I hate waiting.

I stopped at the third page at a very comfortable conclusion. (yes I probably ended by compo with a tonic, oh well. whatever). And then I looked up, and squint my eyes and look at the time.

GOSH, there's still 30 minutes.

So I waited and waited for part 2 to begin. 30 minutes passed, then they gave instructions to paste the barcode. (cool! been some time since I sticked one so, was a really exciting experience). It took not more than 10 minutes.

Then, I was really hoping for part 2 to begin. Then they annouced the "fake break". Some shitty useless interval without any meaning. It adds on to my waiting torture. I want to go home. I rested 30 minutes already! Seriously, they should consider reducing the time because there is too much time already...

So part 2 begun after a long, boring wait. I didn't really like part 2. Infact, I hate gruelling comprehension passages and tons of vocabuarly. I feel like an alien on Earth whenver I do part 2. Nothing but comprehension, nothing but filling in numbers, alphabets, chinese words and writing nonsensical stuff under a certain word limit.

Since it's the last paper of Chinese I am ever going to take in my entire life (say W-o-A-H!), I should at least make some comments on the format of paper 2. Or rather, the allocation of marks. What I would say actually is that one MCQ question weighin 4 marks is extremely expensive. Not to mention, the last section where we really have to pick our pens up and write a paragraph length of characters are at most worth only 8 marks. (with the cheapest one at 6 marks). Is there something wrong? Does it only bother me that MCQ questions and those 'fill in the blankies" are abit too hefty? Does it make answernig open ended question not worth it at all. It seems to be that the paper was set (as in format of marks) in a very unprofessional way. But I don't have any right to whine about it. Afterall, it wll not affect me anymore.

I did the paper with great impulse. Filing in blanks with what comes to mind first. The firstlings of my heart shall be the firstlings of my pen. But thanks to that, time crawled, time staggered and I waited another 15-30 minutes till the end of the paper.

great, 11:45. Dismissal time (when we actually left the hall). when the paper was supposed to end at 11 sharp. MOE should train their invigilators to pick up their pace while collecting papers. They should be well trained in the fine art of picking up scripts, tossing them into their arms and walking at a jogging pace effortlessly. Otherwise, students have to wait at least 10 minutes. Don't complain when students are making noise because it is inevitable to feel restless while these invigilators take their own sweet time collecting papers.

You never know, perhaps in 2017, there will be conveyer belts beneath our seats and we just toss our papers there. The machine will COUNT the scripts, stack them and submit them to MOE. Or perhaps, there will be a teleporation machine. And i think I am more inclined to believe we will be doing our homework, exams all on tablet PC.

And no, tablet PC is not a PC you take with water,when you're sick.

Speaking about touch screen technology. It seems that more and more gadgets are being touch-fied. Not I cannot resist the need (or desire) to own an IPOD touch. Perhaps this is a scheme, a holy scheme for the good of mankind. There will not be rapist or molesters in this world because everyone would be too busy touching their own gadgets. That would be nice. BS, more BS from me.Ah fine.

Been rather busy today. Busy and carried away with playing and enjoying life. Ive been playing the piano, playing dota (couple of games today), as well as reading Prince of Tennis manga. Though it is undeniable that reading Manga online is certainly detrimental to eyesight, as well as it can get VERY boring and montonous after awhile, Prince of tennis never fails to amuse me. And fuji's last counter is really really amazing. I don't want to blabber blabber on, you'd have to read to find out. PoT is just sooo nostalgic. And at the same time, paradoxically, refreshing.

Well, my family is out at causeway (grr im too lazy). I wonder if my brother will pick up an R4 for my DS soon. And I persuaded my dad to get me an Ipod touch. It seems like everything is pending and when he gets less busy, he will probably get me one.

A pretty lifeless day. It's been a while since I lived a life like this.

Moving on. I see myself on the upper portion of this sinusoidal curve of recovery. The day I look forward to is the day when I look back and feel undisturbed. That day is far, but it will certainly come. There are alot other things in life I have discovered, and how foolish was I to waste my life.

Memories are pugnacious. And all I can do is to constantly evade. I have to be strong. I have to lubricate the inner walls of my heart because friction between the past and present can cause sparks, flames and caustic explosions within me.

I must remain like this.