()_()

I dread today. But it's going to be over, very soon.

I just returned from Thailand mission trip meeting, which was quite refreshing and effective. Learnt many stuff as they discussed several issues (not going to list them though), played some 'ice-breakers', which was again, refreshing.

It just annoys me that I had to wait 45 minute in a bus stop for MY BUS (when there are like 3 buses out of the 7-8 that stop there which I can board), to arrive. One bus DAOED me completely, (maybe my fault for not flagging it..). And it also irritates me that my Chopin collection on my handphone could not beat the volume of the traffic, which again, futhur irritated me because I really wanted to let my mind rest upon the notes and the flow of something gentle, (like a waltz for example..). But instead, I decided to switch to louder ones like Flight of the Bumblebee which got me even FUTHUR agitated because the bus wouldn't come. And everything that comes is a bus that I cannot take. What unluckiness. Patience, I must learn.

It took me another 30 minutes to reach church.

Okay, Im not going to school tommorow for that social ettiquette and graces course. Where that bald speaker is going to talk about grooming and stuff. No way Im gonna listen to hairstyling from someone without hair, and no, im not going to get told to cut my hair. No! Never! I don't need social ettiquette and graces course because I am not going to be another byproduct of typical 'training'. Social ettiquete is about style, personality. You must have your own style. You don't follow rules! And I think most of them are more or less common sense, is just which one you have the discipline to follow. And who bothers about social ettiquete when everything is about perception. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, and manners lies in the eyes, of well. Maybe yourself? Ignorance is bliss, remember.

But I wonder how many people will turn out to be more graceful and mannered because of one talk. Pretty unhelpful don't you think? Probably for entertainment value, it's worth it.But effectiveness, I can't really be bothered. But if it's for it's entertainment value, nothing beats sleeping and rotting at home. I know there are other 'happening' stuff at school tommorow, but I am just going to stay home and chiong piano. I don't care.

And I probably have one more day of shortlived happiness before.....*ahem*. Probably. So enjoy it while I can. X_x

On the way back from school, as I walked that same canal path home. I thought of many things. In depth actually. Looks decieve and I am actually a deep thinker. (but I don't shoot missles, no pun intended..)....I need some time to organise my thoughts, involving stuff which I find rather cheem. (but maybe to literature-ist {whatever they are called}, and maybe engyianish people} it might not be that cheem). Before I do a post about what I was thinking about. Lets just take it as, as I was thinking of real random stuff.

Do you define maturity by what people do or what people think? We should judge maturity by what people think, not by what people do. And in that case, we cannot define whether the maturity of a person if we don't know what they are thinking. Sometimes, I believe not only looks can decieve, but even actions, behaviour and body lanquage. Maturity, I believe have many aspects to it. Social aspect, intellectual aspect etc....And people may be extremely developed in one aspect but lacks development in another aspect. Therefore, we cannot easily class people as 'mature' and 'childish'. The word maturity itself lacks definition in today's context. We overuse it along with it's degrees, (childishness). Because the most mature person may be a child inside. The child-like happy go like person may be extremely mature in his thoughts. It varies from person to person. It's not like an acidity test, there's no pH scale for maturity. It cannot be defined, and I think a person's maturity can probably fluctuate in different situations and circumstances.

So don't overuse words like 'maturity' and 'childishness'. When you're not even sure what it means. If you have any cheem and indepth views on maturity (not biologically), you may want tell me.

I sometimes find myself in an identity crisis. Where do I stand on the maturity scale? I find myself lost and vexed. My actions, definitely do not show any sense of maturty. The jokes I crack, the lameness, my rashness, all definitely are not signs of maturity but childishness. But sometimes I do find myself venturing into the depths of thoughts where normal people do not even reach. Maturity is hard to define, and even within yourself, you can't really come to a conclusion whether you, yourself is matured or not. And it's not up to others to decide as well, because they do not know your train of thoughts.

So once again, I find myself asking, "should maturity be defined by actions".

Should character be defined by actions?

Can maturity crumble under pressure?

I know I'm asking alot of rather rubbish, act cheem questions. Those are things I ask myslf. I find it difficult to answer. And probably, everyone has their own interpretation.

Are values a subset of character or it is the other way round?

Do values govern a person's character.

To people who are reading, if you think you have enough depth to answer these questions. (or critisize them), go ahead. I am looking for inputs. I am searching.

But again, on a serious note. Shallowness will not be tolerated.

That's all.