Next week. No book out for me. There are rumors that Tuesday is half day. Oh well. My life is still as meaningless.
Just enrolled for my basic theory test for driving. Can't wait to get onto the civilian car and start lessons At least it feels much better walking into the driving center and applying knowing that you have actually driven a P plate onto the real public road before. And yea, expressway! I'll hope within 2-6 lessons I can go for my TP test and by a few months I'll be driving around to where ever I want. HAHA, finally no need to cab around. But some stuff are new, like parallel parking in the test itself, and the speed limit. GOSH, it's no longer 50!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
My exit is clear, I have to go
I thought that I should have typed a post or two since I'm about to book in. It's Thursday night and I officially graduated from Jeep course after having received my license as well as my certificate of achievement. It was a tough (understatement) five weeks. Grueling stress, excruciatingly painful streaks of failure to the extent I suffered break downs. I never knew I had problems with stress. I just knew I was BLUR and I had quite bad psycho motor coordination, but driving eventually came natural to me.
I remember the funny things that happened while driving. Being one who passed at the fifth attempt, I had to go through grueling hours of what they call failure training. I think the mileage and time I've clocked with my L plate is legendary. (well, almost). And I failed not because I was incompetent, but rather, I made the foolishest of the foolishest mistake under test condition.
(disclaimer Since driving is universal, I don't think blogging about this is breaching some official secret acts or law or something right.)
Driving has almost become numb to me. We're trained to deal with anything on the road. Expect the unexpected, thats what they call it. Very nice. We cannot blame taxis which cut into our lane and then cause us to fail because we cannot slow down in time. We cannot blame vehicles who irresponsibly and blindly dash out of the side road without stopping at the stop line. Anything that happens is like always our fault. We have to watch out for so many things at once.
The dumbest thing ever is to fail cause of stupid reasons. For my first test, I never made it out to public road. It was a five minute joy ride with the tester. How nice. For those who have experience in driving circuits you should be acquainted with something called the directional change. guess what, I turned out of the wrong direction, going against the flow of traffic and failed my 1st test. Five minutes, and I'm out. Not even 1 Km.
Well, I was disappointed. But things did not get better. The 2nd test, I was all poised to strike. Armed with red bull, I leaped onto the jeep. (53, was the back 2 numbers of it. I thought, damnit, that same vehicle again). it was okay. I had problems at the start, rolled back slightly at the slightly sloped carpark lot where the test started. I went smoothly out to public road into bedok area where I survived for a fair amount of time. UNTIl I was about to go onto the route back, I engaged reverse gear accidently at a traffic light and almost banged into the car behind. how nice, that was a immediate failure of course. And to think I thought I drove quite perfectly up to then.
The third test, I was already all shaky. It was the day where 1st and 2nd test passers graduate. It was almost definite that my course is going to extent and I cannot graduate with my fellow coursemates. It was surely not an exciting feeling. I just felt I had to pass this test, so that I don't graduate at a remotely far away date from the rest of the course. I was scheduled for the tester on the same damn 53 jeep. I leaped on it again having drank like half a can of red bull. Guess what, I couldn't start the engine. For like thousnd of times I crank start the engine but it wouldn't turn on. I paniced. Oh wow, guess what. the clutch wasn't fully in. So I went on to fail that test with spammed demerit points. What killed me? The negative impression, a couple of wide turnings that caused the tester to be dead pissed with me. Using the wrong lane after a junction. I U turned all the way out of the pedestrian crossing boundary. Okay, I probably just deserve to be shot. I didn't drove my standard.
After failing the 3rd time I almost wanted to kill myself. I had no confidence in my driving at all. And this dragged on to the fourth test where my morale was rock bottom. I got onto the 53 jeep again (tell me why I have to always go on that same damn jeep!) with a can of red bull in my stomach. Oh wow. I moved on at 2nd gear in the circuit. And that concluded my 1 km test route. Back to the circuit! and back to the failures bench.
Now, I tell you. failing so many times is so horrible. For fourth test failures we have to write a statement because we are suspected of deliberately failing tests. Now if it's so easy why would there be nine people left after four tests out of fourty men at the start. That's easily a quarter!. So we went for the so called unofficial interview.
For every test we fail, we have to go through what we call driver failure training which easily adds up to about 200-500 minutes and about an average of 70Km on public road. this mileage is no joke because we don't go straight on expressway (hell no L plates not allowed on those boring straight roads!) it's like a traffic light every some few metres. And instructors tell us to turn left turn right like no one's business. Everyone know turning left and right is more complicated than going straight all the way. (at least it uses more brain power right! pttf!).
Now. Finally. We all have clocked a legendary amount of training hours (which transcends that of the 1st test passers). We all don't suck. In fact, we all can drive pretty well and control the vehicle quite well. We all can drive. just that some people forget to put seat belt during test and some people get struck by a bicycle from another dimension. Some people stop at the green light because it's 7th month. or maybe some people see a platoon of ants marching across the zebra crossing. there are multifarious reasons why people fail. And most of them are somewhat inevitable. (and stupid!)
About stopping on the green light, yes. I committed that one on a driving assessment. (a small test which one have to pass before they're allowed to go on an official test).
Now. My fifth and final test.
I was a struggle the night before, two nights before. Sleep was good. If anyone would to fail this test. He would have to sit around doing nothing from 8-5pm and have training from 5-7pm because the new batch have already arrived and our instructors now have to take care of their new poor disciples. it was a life determining battle.
When they annouced that they're going to let us choose which vehicle we wanted for the test, there was a heated debate among all 9 of us. Some people actually wanted 53 but I strongly rejected it. I came up with a lame reason like the signal is not working properly and I finally managed to get them to use another vehicle.
Guess what, that vehicle has a name. And it's prior owner Jonathan, who happens to be a very nerdy and (weirdish) air force private who just passed on the 3rd test and left us said that his vehicle 35501 is called Sarah. To pass the test, one have to become one with his vehicle and shout out his vehicle name before mounting it.
Finally, without drinking red bull, and driving Jonathan's Sarah, which had a new set of gears because Jonathan broke it (!!). The biting point was also smooth. I glided on that momentum and passed my fifth test. Nothing happened, it was forty minutes of hell tension until I came back and was asked to park in the carpark lot.
I tell you. after failing so many times. The point is not to give up. There were many points of time where giving up, Out of course! was so promiment amongst my thoughts. The motto of the jeep platoon. Never say die! Is something which I would remember for life. This course had thought me many things. Amongst which. I remember a quote.
Only idiots do the same thing over and over again expecting different results.
I guess the breakthrough was not drinking red bull and finally having a different vehicle. One with great aura and power to even have a name.
I've met so many good friends here in this course. Some funny, some nerdy, some quite fun to be with after all. This course is full of test, and they're not the ordinary army test whereby going through the motion will get you a pass. Some tests can have failures up to the fourth-fifth-sixth attempt. Now tell me if it isn't scary.
I remember the funny things that happened while driving. Being one who passed at the fifth attempt, I had to go through grueling hours of what they call failure training. I think the mileage and time I've clocked with my L plate is legendary. (well, almost). And I failed not because I was incompetent, but rather, I made the foolishest of the foolishest mistake under test condition.
(disclaimer Since driving is universal, I don't think blogging about this is breaching some official secret acts or law or something right.)
Driving has almost become numb to me. We're trained to deal with anything on the road. Expect the unexpected, thats what they call it. Very nice. We cannot blame taxis which cut into our lane and then cause us to fail because we cannot slow down in time. We cannot blame vehicles who irresponsibly and blindly dash out of the side road without stopping at the stop line. Anything that happens is like always our fault. We have to watch out for so many things at once.
The dumbest thing ever is to fail cause of stupid reasons. For my first test, I never made it out to public road. It was a five minute joy ride with the tester. How nice. For those who have experience in driving circuits you should be acquainted with something called the directional change. guess what, I turned out of the wrong direction, going against the flow of traffic and failed my 1st test. Five minutes, and I'm out. Not even 1 Km.
Well, I was disappointed. But things did not get better. The 2nd test, I was all poised to strike. Armed with red bull, I leaped onto the jeep. (53, was the back 2 numbers of it. I thought, damnit, that same vehicle again). it was okay. I had problems at the start, rolled back slightly at the slightly sloped carpark lot where the test started. I went smoothly out to public road into bedok area where I survived for a fair amount of time. UNTIl I was about to go onto the route back, I engaged reverse gear accidently at a traffic light and almost banged into the car behind. how nice, that was a immediate failure of course. And to think I thought I drove quite perfectly up to then.
The third test, I was already all shaky. It was the day where 1st and 2nd test passers graduate. It was almost definite that my course is going to extent and I cannot graduate with my fellow coursemates. It was surely not an exciting feeling. I just felt I had to pass this test, so that I don't graduate at a remotely far away date from the rest of the course. I was scheduled for the tester on the same damn 53 jeep. I leaped on it again having drank like half a can of red bull. Guess what, I couldn't start the engine. For like thousnd of times I crank start the engine but it wouldn't turn on. I paniced. Oh wow, guess what. the clutch wasn't fully in. So I went on to fail that test with spammed demerit points. What killed me? The negative impression, a couple of wide turnings that caused the tester to be dead pissed with me. Using the wrong lane after a junction. I U turned all the way out of the pedestrian crossing boundary. Okay, I probably just deserve to be shot. I didn't drove my standard.
After failing the 3rd time I almost wanted to kill myself. I had no confidence in my driving at all. And this dragged on to the fourth test where my morale was rock bottom. I got onto the 53 jeep again (tell me why I have to always go on that same damn jeep!) with a can of red bull in my stomach. Oh wow. I moved on at 2nd gear in the circuit. And that concluded my 1 km test route. Back to the circuit! and back to the failures bench.
Now, I tell you. failing so many times is so horrible. For fourth test failures we have to write a statement because we are suspected of deliberately failing tests. Now if it's so easy why would there be nine people left after four tests out of fourty men at the start. That's easily a quarter!. So we went for the so called unofficial interview.
For every test we fail, we have to go through what we call driver failure training which easily adds up to about 200-500 minutes and about an average of 70Km on public road. this mileage is no joke because we don't go straight on expressway (hell no L plates not allowed on those boring straight roads!) it's like a traffic light every some few metres. And instructors tell us to turn left turn right like no one's business. Everyone know turning left and right is more complicated than going straight all the way. (at least it uses more brain power right! pttf!).
Now. Finally. We all have clocked a legendary amount of training hours (which transcends that of the 1st test passers). We all don't suck. In fact, we all can drive pretty well and control the vehicle quite well. We all can drive. just that some people forget to put seat belt during test and some people get struck by a bicycle from another dimension. Some people stop at the green light because it's 7th month. or maybe some people see a platoon of ants marching across the zebra crossing. there are multifarious reasons why people fail. And most of them are somewhat inevitable. (and stupid!)
About stopping on the green light, yes. I committed that one on a driving assessment. (a small test which one have to pass before they're allowed to go on an official test).
Now. My fifth and final test.
I was a struggle the night before, two nights before. Sleep was good. If anyone would to fail this test. He would have to sit around doing nothing from 8-5pm and have training from 5-7pm because the new batch have already arrived and our instructors now have to take care of their new poor disciples. it was a life determining battle.
When they annouced that they're going to let us choose which vehicle we wanted for the test, there was a heated debate among all 9 of us. Some people actually wanted 53 but I strongly rejected it. I came up with a lame reason like the signal is not working properly and I finally managed to get them to use another vehicle.
Guess what, that vehicle has a name. And it's prior owner Jonathan, who happens to be a very nerdy and (weirdish) air force private who just passed on the 3rd test and left us said that his vehicle 35501 is called Sarah. To pass the test, one have to become one with his vehicle and shout out his vehicle name before mounting it.
Finally, without drinking red bull, and driving Jonathan's Sarah, which had a new set of gears because Jonathan broke it (!!). The biting point was also smooth. I glided on that momentum and passed my fifth test. Nothing happened, it was forty minutes of hell tension until I came back and was asked to park in the carpark lot.
I tell you. after failing so many times. The point is not to give up. There were many points of time where giving up, Out of course! was so promiment amongst my thoughts. The motto of the jeep platoon. Never say die! Is something which I would remember for life. This course had thought me many things. Amongst which. I remember a quote.
Only idiots do the same thing over and over again expecting different results.
I guess the breakthrough was not drinking red bull and finally having a different vehicle. One with great aura and power to even have a name.
I've met so many good friends here in this course. Some funny, some nerdy, some quite fun to be with after all. This course is full of test, and they're not the ordinary army test whereby going through the motion will get you a pass. Some tests can have failures up to the fourth-fifth-sixth attempt. Now tell me if it isn't scary.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
If only
Yesterday night it rained. I sat by the computer and listened through many emo chinese songs and watched music videos. The stormy rains outside kind of created a perfect ambiance for being emo. Then I sat alone at one corner of my room and ate ice cream. It never tasted so bittersweet before. Once in awhile, this feels so nice. Feels so peaceful as I cuddle into my freezing cold blanket under the billowing aircon. Peaceful sleep.
When life gets meaningless, the only thing I can do is to appreciate smaller things in life. For example, eating ice cream under the aircon amidst a storm in the middle of the night. Like right now i'm looking forward to eat instant noodles with lots of chilli early in the morning. Okay, maybe let me think of another example besides food. Just being able to lie down and do nothing. (though my mind ain't really at peace but still). And waking up to see my hair grow a little longer more.
I've changed. Nowadays I take things very hard. My emotions are not mine anymore. I cannot really control how I feel, how I act or whatsoever. I am a prisoner of my emotions and that stinks. If I feel sad, everything I do including how I look at people will totally reveal it all. If I'm stressed out I start doing weird things like drinking water every few minutes. I've never been so emotional in my life. If only I can think less. If only I can feel less. Life would be much better.
I miss BMT. I miss those never ending road marches. I miss doing everything with my rifle. I actually miss outfield (though I suffered a lot at field camp). I miss PT everyday. I miss the whole place. Waiting for the ferry and booking out. I miss booking out, and booking in. I miss everything. I wouldn't mind being a recruit my entire life.
When life gets meaningless, the only thing I can do is to appreciate smaller things in life. For example, eating ice cream under the aircon amidst a storm in the middle of the night. Like right now i'm looking forward to eat instant noodles with lots of chilli early in the morning. Okay, maybe let me think of another example besides food. Just being able to lie down and do nothing. (though my mind ain't really at peace but still). And waking up to see my hair grow a little longer more.
I've changed. Nowadays I take things very hard. My emotions are not mine anymore. I cannot really control how I feel, how I act or whatsoever. I am a prisoner of my emotions and that stinks. If I feel sad, everything I do including how I look at people will totally reveal it all. If I'm stressed out I start doing weird things like drinking water every few minutes. I've never been so emotional in my life. If only I can think less. If only I can feel less. Life would be much better.
I miss BMT. I miss those never ending road marches. I miss doing everything with my rifle. I actually miss outfield (though I suffered a lot at field camp). I miss PT everyday. I miss the whole place. Waiting for the ferry and booking out. I miss booking out, and booking in. I miss everything. I wouldn't mind being a recruit my entire life.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Green Arrow
My bed time has been somehow displaced forward. 2000 hrs I start to feel drowsy and by 2030 I would be automatically hauled into dreamland. Then I wake up at some 0300 hours and start to worry about the days ahead. Stare into the blank ceiling and contemplate my fate. Sigh.
For some reason, my life is so meaningless that I spend my nights watching television. Oh! Don't die of shock! I finally managed to get my lazy ass across the corridor to next door, mount the bed, and start absorbing the colorful pictures on that little dusty screen which I hardly ever touch. And surprise of the day! I watched Singapore Idol.
I don't normally keep up to date with such shows. Stage one is more often than not-funny. Then it gets serious. Gets all complicated with all the emotional rampage. People begging for a second chance. Whoo, on television. Do they actually know they're being filmed. This show is not as simple as it seems. Not a simple sing and win it kind of show. Just like why we watch drama, we love watching people cry. Then we use our empathy to simulate, to engage in somesort of virtual experience whereby we get half of the experience points (woot! or actually maybe not) People crave for emotional drama. If this show simply presented people singing over and over again, then release the results in a very non exciting manner, would people bother to watchat all. It was the drama over the music (if even existant). The conflict, the emotional turmoil, the empathy we have to exercise, the study of an array of personalities presented right infront of us. We get to see people chase their dreams, fail, cry on national tv and we're satisfied?
Is it better to have unrealistic dreams, or have none?
For some reason, my life is so meaningless that I spend my nights watching television. Oh! Don't die of shock! I finally managed to get my lazy ass across the corridor to next door, mount the bed, and start absorbing the colorful pictures on that little dusty screen which I hardly ever touch. And surprise of the day! I watched Singapore Idol.
I don't normally keep up to date with such shows. Stage one is more often than not-funny. Then it gets serious. Gets all complicated with all the emotional rampage. People begging for a second chance. Whoo, on television. Do they actually know they're being filmed. This show is not as simple as it seems. Not a simple sing and win it kind of show. Just like why we watch drama, we love watching people cry. Then we use our empathy to simulate, to engage in somesort of virtual experience whereby we get half of the experience points (woot! or actually maybe not) People crave for emotional drama. If this show simply presented people singing over and over again, then release the results in a very non exciting manner, would people bother to watchat all. It was the drama over the music (if even existant). The conflict, the emotional turmoil, the empathy we have to exercise, the study of an array of personalities presented right infront of us. We get to see people chase their dreams, fail, cry on national tv and we're satisfied?
Is it better to have unrealistic dreams, or have none?
Sunday, August 16, 2009
A call that summons a thousand miles
This morning I woke up (again) at an unearthly timing. Sunday! I should at least wake up to see the sun, but no! it was cold and chilly. My first thought was, "gosh this should not be happening on a sunday morning". but still, i managed to exercise some self coercion and got myself up.
How did all this happen? Interesting. To cut the story short, I got a call yesterday at a weird time ( that I call my bedtime ) telling me I had to go for a half marathon the next morning at some thousand miles away.
So we rendevous at esplanade at some 5am plus this morning.
I wasn't very happy. 10km. I was just glad I didn't have to go for the 21km run. I haven't been doing any form of exercise for like say the last one month.
And so I ran. Ran. and almost died.
It was literally a human sardine hell. (I still remember that was my official term for Bugis) but anyway, if that was human sardine hell. This is canned aqueous sardine hell. Sweaty heaven! I tell you, when I ran I had to squeeze through people to advance forward and these people ain't exactly very dry. They were excreting juices known as pespiration, and I tell you, rubbing your arms on other people's arms does create a cooling sensation which I tell you is something you never want to experience. For that, I propose running marathon in long no 4.
I was so sad and traumatised. No goodie bags or whatever They gave out medals though. But who wants a 10km medal. Anyway we didn't run the competitive one so we didn't even have number tags. so people without number tags are like worthless piece of thrash that don't deserve medals (at least thats what they told me when I tried to take one). Still, I manage to steal 3 cans of 100 plus from the freebie booth which was giving out drinks. Yea. Stealing that 3 cans was the most painful experience because I had to squeeze into a crowd of men who just finished a 10km marathon. My sanity or my throat. It was a tough choice. But :( i choose my throat in the end.
The others are going home tomorrow. Only the failure squad are staying for the 3rd test and me included. I haven't gone for my island wide. This tuesday will be a do or die battle. I'm not giving myself pressure anymore. Because I know I can do it. I can pull off perfect driving. I just need some luck.
While driving on saturday morning at Yishun area, I stumbled across a couple of police cars parked along the road. I think the civil defence people were involved as well. No, this ain't NDP part 2. But anyway there was a half naked old man threatening to jump down from a playground obstacle (you know those pyramidal kinda thingy?). And mr police man was trying to get him down. I could vaguely see though the speed of the jeep was so pathetically slow. Fortunately, I managed to my instructor to get the jeep back to the same spot to see what happened. I made 2-3 circles and by the last, I saw the old man handcuffed, pinned to the ground. And yes, though I had to signal right, change lane for all that commotion, I thought it was quite disturbing, sad. Yeah.
Garfield says life stinks. I kinda agree.
How did all this happen? Interesting. To cut the story short, I got a call yesterday at a weird time ( that I call my bedtime ) telling me I had to go for a half marathon the next morning at some thousand miles away.
So we rendevous at esplanade at some 5am plus this morning.
I wasn't very happy. 10km. I was just glad I didn't have to go for the 21km run. I haven't been doing any form of exercise for like say the last one month.
And so I ran. Ran. and almost died.
It was literally a human sardine hell. (I still remember that was my official term for Bugis) but anyway, if that was human sardine hell. This is canned aqueous sardine hell. Sweaty heaven! I tell you, when I ran I had to squeeze through people to advance forward and these people ain't exactly very dry. They were excreting juices known as pespiration, and I tell you, rubbing your arms on other people's arms does create a cooling sensation which I tell you is something you never want to experience. For that, I propose running marathon in long no 4.
I was so sad and traumatised. No goodie bags or whatever They gave out medals though. But who wants a 10km medal. Anyway we didn't run the competitive one so we didn't even have number tags. so people without number tags are like worthless piece of thrash that don't deserve medals (at least thats what they told me when I tried to take one). Still, I manage to steal 3 cans of 100 plus from the freebie booth which was giving out drinks. Yea. Stealing that 3 cans was the most painful experience because I had to squeeze into a crowd of men who just finished a 10km marathon. My sanity or my throat. It was a tough choice. But :( i choose my throat in the end.
The others are going home tomorrow. Only the failure squad are staying for the 3rd test and me included. I haven't gone for my island wide. This tuesday will be a do or die battle. I'm not giving myself pressure anymore. Because I know I can do it. I can pull off perfect driving. I just need some luck.
While driving on saturday morning at Yishun area, I stumbled across a couple of police cars parked along the road. I think the civil defence people were involved as well. No, this ain't NDP part 2. But anyway there was a half naked old man threatening to jump down from a playground obstacle (you know those pyramidal kinda thingy?). And mr police man was trying to get him down. I could vaguely see though the speed of the jeep was so pathetically slow. Fortunately, I managed to my instructor to get the jeep back to the same spot to see what happened. I made 2-3 circles and by the last, I saw the old man handcuffed, pinned to the ground. And yes, though I had to signal right, change lane for all that commotion, I thought it was quite disturbing, sad. Yeah.
Garfield says life stinks. I kinda agree.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
There ain't no pulse in life
I just kinda lost hope. there ain't anything meaningful in life, somehow. When I look, i get this blank paper feeling. I have lots to put on it, but no pen. Maybe i do have a pen, but there ain't no ink. That is more frustrating perhaps. I just look forward to things like, " oh im hungry now maybe I should eat MacDonald later", and when my MacDonald comes I feel temporarily happy and satisfied. Then when I gobble up the entire thing, I start to wonder, what's next.
I have no goal no aim no ambition no passion nothing. My one and only passion was sucked by SAF. My goal is to pass my driving test next week (again, SAF), my ambition is like the sun of beckoning radiance sadly blocked by layers and layers of clouds (again, SAF). until there is no light to be detected.
Weekdays I long for weekends. But weekends I stare at my computer screen and sigh. What's this week after week. Or should I be glad I have nothing to do. Maybe boredom is a blessing. There's no use doing anything. There's no use looking forward to anything. Everything suddenly feels temporary. the only feeling that is not temporary is the feeling that everything is temporary. now, that seems perpetual.
Once I think I have found some meaning in my life, it vanishes! Like a ghost. I'm following something that is nonexistant. I don't even know why. The moment I reach home I sleep. Maybe it's better to be stay in because I have friends in my bunk to accompany me. Maybe it's good to once in awhile, induldge in say, PSP games or something. Nothing pleases me. Nothing seems to entertain me as much as it should. Nothing seems useful at all.
I have no goal no aim no ambition no passion nothing. My one and only passion was sucked by SAF. My goal is to pass my driving test next week (again, SAF), my ambition is like the sun of beckoning radiance sadly blocked by layers and layers of clouds (again, SAF). until there is no light to be detected.
Weekdays I long for weekends. But weekends I stare at my computer screen and sigh. What's this week after week. Or should I be glad I have nothing to do. Maybe boredom is a blessing. There's no use doing anything. There's no use looking forward to anything. Everything suddenly feels temporary. the only feeling that is not temporary is the feeling that everything is temporary. now, that seems perpetual.
Once I think I have found some meaning in my life, it vanishes! Like a ghost. I'm following something that is nonexistant. I don't even know why. The moment I reach home I sleep. Maybe it's better to be stay in because I have friends in my bunk to accompany me. Maybe it's good to once in awhile, induldge in say, PSP games or something. Nothing pleases me. Nothing seems to entertain me as much as it should. Nothing seems useful at all.
Monday, August 10, 2009
My dream
I'll move into a big house. With a nice little grand piano, fancy chandeliers, the perfect ambiance, and I'll practice 8 hours a day. Within months I'll be playing Hungarian Rhapsodies, Chopin Ballades and Rachmaninoff Concertos. And then I'll indulge my life in it. I'll just keep playing.
I'll retake A'levels. Study the hardest I can just to get into somewhere that I want to be. then, I'll study a degree for fun.
I'll celebrate my 21st birthday with the biggest party ever in my own house.
I'll get my license. And get my dad to buy me a car.
Then I'll get attached to some pretty girl.
DREAM ON.
1 year 7 months to ORD
I'll retake A'levels. Study the hardest I can just to get into somewhere that I want to be. then, I'll study a degree for fun.
I'll celebrate my 21st birthday with the biggest party ever in my own house.
I'll get my license. And get my dad to buy me a car.
Then I'll get attached to some pretty girl.
DREAM ON.
1 year 7 months to ORD
Sunday, August 9, 2009
National Day
I was thinking of some abstract kind of title but heck it, it's National Day. So happy national day!
For once. I watched NDP all the way from the start all the way to it's end. I got to say, I was impressed how lamely it started. But eventually it went quite professionally and smoothly. One word to describe it-sleek. For once in nineteen years, I finally could sit down and watch the parade before the Z monster attacks me because I can roughly understand what was going on. And I have to admit the uniform groups marching in NDP kinda looked grossly irrelevant.
And there was the highlight of this year's NDP. the presidential gun salute where artillery was mounted on our M3G rigs/floating platform. I was so appalled when the commentator never mentioned one bit of the M3G floating platforms. Everyone is like gaga over whatever shit that produces those big boom bang poofs into the air but no one ever wondered whats underneath those heavy bulky pieces of gun.
The music was so bad this year. (though I don't have anything to compare with since I rarely watch NDP) They like to use chopped up fragments of a variety of national day songs into one long song. Rojak can taste nice, but doing this to the music this is like so wrong. It sounds constipated, sounds so wrong, sounds so violated. C'mon, there's no buffet in music. The theme song is beyond horrible. A chanting melody, wait, there isn't even a distinct melodic line, or even a chorus. Thrash!
And yes! I said the pledge. The national day songs are actually quite nice. In fact, memories from various route marches whereby we sang NDP songs surfaced. Though how lame it might seem to say, that I think, I think I love Singapore.
(and I'll probably take back my words when I go back on public road driving on Tuesday again)
The weather is kinda stuffy today. I spent yesterday and today goofing around at home without much in mind. A wanderer's life, how random! Been quite emo on and off recently, for no apparent reason. Life can be quite meaningless without nothing meaningful. Wait, that goes without saying.
I'm dehydrating now.
I failed my 1st driving test (military class 3) by making a retarded wrong turn in the CIRCUIT (I never made it to public road) by going against the flow of traffic. Sadly, a stupid mistake which I ought to be whacked in the head for. But this degree of stupidity cannot beat my dear beloved wen guang who failed because he never turn on his headlights.
Awww. Before I dehydrate into nothingness. I should get some water down my throat. Bye
For once. I watched NDP all the way from the start all the way to it's end. I got to say, I was impressed how lamely it started. But eventually it went quite professionally and smoothly. One word to describe it-sleek. For once in nineteen years, I finally could sit down and watch the parade before the Z monster attacks me because I can roughly understand what was going on. And I have to admit the uniform groups marching in NDP kinda looked grossly irrelevant.
And there was the highlight of this year's NDP. the presidential gun salute where artillery was mounted on our M3G rigs/floating platform. I was so appalled when the commentator never mentioned one bit of the M3G floating platforms. Everyone is like gaga over whatever shit that produces those big boom bang poofs into the air but no one ever wondered whats underneath those heavy bulky pieces of gun.
The music was so bad this year. (though I don't have anything to compare with since I rarely watch NDP) They like to use chopped up fragments of a variety of national day songs into one long song. Rojak can taste nice, but doing this to the music this is like so wrong. It sounds constipated, sounds so wrong, sounds so violated. C'mon, there's no buffet in music. The theme song is beyond horrible. A chanting melody, wait, there isn't even a distinct melodic line, or even a chorus. Thrash!
And yes! I said the pledge. The national day songs are actually quite nice. In fact, memories from various route marches whereby we sang NDP songs surfaced. Though how lame it might seem to say, that I think, I think I love Singapore.
(and I'll probably take back my words when I go back on public road driving on Tuesday again)
The weather is kinda stuffy today. I spent yesterday and today goofing around at home without much in mind. A wanderer's life, how random! Been quite emo on and off recently, for no apparent reason. Life can be quite meaningless without nothing meaningful. Wait, that goes without saying.
I'm dehydrating now.
I failed my 1st driving test (military class 3) by making a retarded wrong turn in the CIRCUIT (I never made it to public road) by going against the flow of traffic. Sadly, a stupid mistake which I ought to be whacked in the head for. But this degree of stupidity cannot beat my dear beloved wen guang who failed because he never turn on his headlights.
Awww. Before I dehydrate into nothingness. I should get some water down my throat. Bye
Friday, August 7, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
:D
Ignore that smiley title. I ain't that happy anyway.
Today. Hmm. Things can go right after all. After a thousand of years of being stuck in the mud and being faced with murphy's law from day to night, I finally get a bit of that shiny glittering hope of equalization. Things are getting better by the second though my energy is at rock bottom.
I need energy. And thus, I shall attempt to break my record and sleep now. (it's 1822) btw. Sleeping 17 hours on saturday till sunday wasn't really that enough. I had about 25 hours of sleep throughout a span of two mere days. Way to go. The best part is, there is an insatiable hunger for sleep.
People underestimate driving. People underestimate how hard it is to go out just one round into the roads of singapore and coming back unscratched. That is, boy, a true feat. Because in military we're only allowed 10 demerit points (8 lower than commercial mind you). And anything easily can be a cause of an immediate failure. Don't talk about that 20 lessons you paid for in commercial, after 10 lessons we're put into a real test (which level rivals, if not owns the commercial standard).
How many of you drivers out there actually know the types of roads. Uncontrolled equal cross junctions, controlled junctions, major road minor road etc.. or even bus lanes. How many of you actually have to say them out step by step in an oral like setting. Whereby if you forgot to say you beware your left rear wheel hit the curb it's an immediate failure. Situational problems, thats what they call it. Yes, those kind the ancient generation had whereby they had to push cars over boards.
Im worn out. I get to go home. But suddenly the television, the computer, the fridge or even the toilet ain't appealing anymore. My home equals my bed. That's all.
SLEEP DEPRIVED.
(actually I have sufficient sleep. just that it's just so mentally draining everyday. Alevels ten times can never beat this)
Today. Hmm. Things can go right after all. After a thousand of years of being stuck in the mud and being faced with murphy's law from day to night, I finally get a bit of that shiny glittering hope of equalization. Things are getting better by the second though my energy is at rock bottom.
I need energy. And thus, I shall attempt to break my record and sleep now. (it's 1822) btw. Sleeping 17 hours on saturday till sunday wasn't really that enough. I had about 25 hours of sleep throughout a span of two mere days. Way to go. The best part is, there is an insatiable hunger for sleep.
People underestimate driving. People underestimate how hard it is to go out just one round into the roads of singapore and coming back unscratched. That is, boy, a true feat. Because in military we're only allowed 10 demerit points (8 lower than commercial mind you). And anything easily can be a cause of an immediate failure. Don't talk about that 20 lessons you paid for in commercial, after 10 lessons we're put into a real test (which level rivals, if not owns the commercial standard).
How many of you drivers out there actually know the types of roads. Uncontrolled equal cross junctions, controlled junctions, major road minor road etc.. or even bus lanes. How many of you actually have to say them out step by step in an oral like setting. Whereby if you forgot to say you beware your left rear wheel hit the curb it's an immediate failure. Situational problems, thats what they call it. Yes, those kind the ancient generation had whereby they had to push cars over boards.
Im worn out. I get to go home. But suddenly the television, the computer, the fridge or even the toilet ain't appealing anymore. My home equals my bed. That's all.
SLEEP DEPRIVED.
(actually I have sufficient sleep. just that it's just so mentally draining everyday. Alevels ten times can never beat this)
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