Be calm

Nights out today.

430pm nights out. Pretty nice because we went for a swim and early fall out from there. It feels like Ive been in home for quite some time and it's only 7pm!

I feel cynical today. Maybe it's the fatigue. Tired. A little pissed, for no actual reason.

Been sometime since I had a good run. there's 5km run tomorrow. Been running lots of short runs, sprint runs, combat runs, sluggish 6km runs but no 10+ for the whole week. Sometimes, I wonder whats worth it and whats not. I can safely and confidently say I exercise way a lot more than my other platoon mates and in camp, we eat the same food, have the same routine but our bodies react differently to exercise. While some guy can sport a decently defined abs while mine is one whole lump of shit. And guess what, when you put me down to doing ab exercises I can do them with ease. Damn those baby fat, and fats that won't go away. (yes, I run a lot on weekends too) why won't those go away. I'm on excuse sweet drinks for now.

Life is unfair, really.

I played badminton yesterday. And I happen to start playing with my left hand and I am so hooked because I could win people with my left hand and it rocks. I don't know why but it's just a very cool feeling.

I don't know, but sometimes. there are so much to do. so much meaning in life. and the next, there is almost close to none. maybe its not the amount of motivation but it is the present morale within ourselves. I think it is all psychological because the state of things do not change much. everything is in the mind damnit. I feel so sluggish now.

It's October soon. And weekend is one day away. ORD is coming closer.

Not so fast

Returning to Seletar was a well, odd experience. 6 floors, and my almost full set of barang barang had to go all the way up. imagine how much gravity I must overcome. it's so sad because life seems presently the SAME. nothing has changed even after coming back from a major exercise. I don't know why, but suddenly March 2010 seems far again.

Sep 2010 is coming to an end. YAY (2 more days!) and then October and November are going to be (I predict) busy months. There is no promised "sleep in bunk until 10am" kind of treatment, nor the exemption from basic stuff like 5bx or breakfast. but breakfast is good, nevermind that is NOT my point here.

Anyway. I came home just to practice my Etincelles. Because I know if I don't touch this fast piece I will not be able to play a single of it when Saturday comes. And exams ain't that far. maybe about 3/4 a year away and my rep is not entirely done.

I have live firing like, on a Sunday next next weekend. How suck thumb is that. *one check one*.
It's not exactly MY live firing considering I've fired that GPMG before already. It's my understudy's course's live firing and either 1) have to help out 2) have to fire again. Either way, it's going to not only burn those barrels but burn my weekend. Baskets

But granted. These days are less busy. I spent like 2 hours easily sleeping in office and another 2 hours feeling bloated from excess sleep. Sleeping at night is hard due to the weird shift from civilian to military sleeping times (yes it differs from sleeping at 3am at home!). It's basically PT week. Everyday, doing PT. yes. we had strength training, combat runs. and new SOC is going to be released next month. I'm excited and I hope I can pass.

Now it's project GOLDEN boy. I'm going to work on my IPPT gold. but wait, I just jumped 207cm on SBJ today, thats not even a pass and my 2.4 is at 10'07. I have a long way to go. Just this 2 months. And I want to burst everything I've got. While the others are slacking off into ORD mood I want to do something about my remaining time. Silver ain't enough anymore.

Things are going to change. but now, 1 week makes a big percentage difference to the countdown. It's 24 weeks (including this week) left! Every week is a almost a good 4% from this point onwards.

Camp life is relaxing. but it's more rushed than Thailand. Days in Thailand was actually not bad after all!

But the gym is now only opened on mondays and thursdays. this sucks. Looks like I have to play badminton tomorrow.

Last day

My off spree ends here. And I will formally begin the last finale season of my NS life tomorrow.

I've been resting a lot at home. I haven't run in like FOUR days. OMGOSH. Finally Etincelles is here and I need to practice harder now on weekends because it's no longer going to be a whole week at home. Gotta say I really had fun. (Have to remind you guys my type of fun is a little different).

I don't know what to expect what I go back. I don't even feel like wheeling my duffel bag back to camp and up six floors. Gone are the ridiculous showering facilities, gone are the blazing hot sun. now we return to good ol'seletar. it ain't a totally good thing especially when your bunk is like 6 floors up and then, there's no more legendary canteen or buying shirts every meal time. it was cool really, sai yok camp.

Ive been watching drama. Korean drama entitled King of baking. Now it may seem like a real lame show but it's perfectly awesome. I got pretty annoyed because the host website is sometimes laggy, sometimes the vid-audio is out of synch and sometimes the video doesn't stream at all in the middle of an intense episode. thats how I spent all my time at home huh.

When my brothers finish their end of year exams it's time to go grand piano shopping! And end of year festive season is around the corner. its that time of the year.

I hope when I return to camp there's still runs on tuesdays and fridays. if not i will have to run myself in the evening :(

I don't know why

Friday Night

I'm sulking at my computer because I'm having trouble finding the next episode for the drama I'm watching. Oh damn. FML.

I slept this afternoon. I have no mood to do anything. And this sucks.

I feel so terribly emotional today.

Fruitful or fruitless ain't about apples

Nightstalker in action here.

I happened to be walking along the corridor of the 3rd level of my house and I found my LBV hanging by the railings. It's probably being left to dry after a good wash. I had ordered my maid to get EVERYTHING washed from my duffel bag. But it certainly has felt as if I have ord-ed. Well, fat hope. You'll going back to camp in like 5 days time TY. It's nice to have a little of that ORD-breeze in your face. It's so refreshing.

Like you have seen from my previous post. I really had a restless afternoon today. But evening night was fun to the max! I ran 16.8km again! and filling in my mileage (no longer book but excel spreadsheet) felt so good. I mean, that priceless few buttons on the keyboard that took you like 1 hour plus sweating it out, just to put that down. I mean, it's like it means a lot.

I'm still struggling with 16+ km, I've got to admit. It was tiring. I cannot say 16km is nothing. Well 8km is really untiring, while 12 may be a little err not so nice on a hot and nasty day but 16km is still taxing on my body. But i want to be able to run about 20km as my base ground for any long run next time. I don't even know why do I run. 42km seems like a reachable goal for now and serves as a good motivation. Long runs are nice, really nice and the numbness in your legs when you stop moving. Some people can run for 84km, or even clock under 4 hours for 42km. I just want to find out if I can too. Fitness gained, itself is another good reward.

I think I'll probably need a rest day tomorrow. Maybe I'll do a 4.2km sprint or something.

Let's stop making a fitness journal here shall we. It was partially fruitful because 1) I practiced a lot of piano. woo! I even recorded my exam piece "Liebestraum" by Franz Liszt. I've got to say it's actually the nicest and most beautiful out of my (projected) 32 minutes of playing. Debussy is showing shape! yay. I still haven't really come to terms with Debussy's harmony and the overall sound of his pieces. Sounds so crystal-ish tingly-ish and weirdish. But it can be nice. haunting at times.

You can ask me why Im not going out or giving my social life some shit attention. Hey, I'm doing what I like and I'm happy. True. I played a few games of Dota OR stare at my computer screen for like a few hours but so what. My day was productive. It's better than walking around in malls doing nothing for the whole day looking at things you want to buy so that you can look nice the next time u decide to go pointless and walking around again. OMG, i just shot like many people. time to take cover.

Lazy afternoon

I don't feel like doing anything. I've been up and down all day on the piano. Com-piano-com-piano. Cycle repeats. I didn't run yesterday which breaks my chain of 4 days running spree. I guess i just need the break after 17km run on Sunday. I'm ready to run another maybe 10+km today. Just a little later.

Thursday and Friday are declared off too! So I have like one more week (almost) to play around with. I won't be going out much except to gym or running. Perhaps maybe dinner with my parents at most. And maybe badminton with Clement. that's about it. I cannot even find any reason to leave my house.

I recorded Liebestraume today and I'm happy with it.

The current shape of things

I have nothing complete in my repertoire right now. Lots of fragments here and there.

My exam's recital looks like this::

Scarlatti Sonata K491 D
Beethoven Grande Sonata Pathetique
Liszt Liebestraum No3
Debussy La plus que lente
Moszkowski Étincelles

Some current meddle-for-fun

Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu
La Campanella Liszt (reviving it)

I can't sleep and it ain't my fault

Blame all those midnight trainings at Thailand. My sleeping cycle is now officially screwed. this reminds me of good old school holidays! I have 3 more days of Off and back to camp! But going back to camp now it's probably like going to school when your exams are over. The word we're looking for starts with R and end with g.

Been watching Singapore's talent show-"OMG" on the net. I was initially impressed by some of the performances but seriously, I have this weird curiosity on why do so many people play the piano and sing. Piano may be a versatile accompaniment but it ain't just an accompaniment!! it's a solo instrument. and so far I haven't seen any classical pianist on the show. But besides that, I was impressed until I went you tubing to find Britain's got talent at like such a higher level than our locals. And that was the turning point when I was OMG, omg sucks compared to internationally. But still, sufficiently entertaining.

Been picking up my running schedule. I ran almost 17km today (16.8km) to be exact. I am pretty happy with my progress considering I didn't exercise much while in Thailand. To be frank, I ain't sure of why I'm running but losing those extra tummy fats and getting fitter seems like a good enough reason. Today was the first time I took my trusty little Itouch on the mission and it returned home all glued up and sticky (from sweat, mind you!). Listening to music DOES help, I just realized that. Mental strength is of utmost importance and music does enhance it somewhat. Plans? I plan to alternate short runs and long runs on a daily basis. I'll probably up my game to 20s soon enough. What do I run for? I wonder. Night runs under the moonlight and the haunting deserted canal route, soft winds, my own panting, and music right up my ears. I think this is the perfect way to spend a night. The aftermath-fatigue, soreness and also the feeling that you've leveled up is what makes it all worth it.

I actually downloaded Google Earth to calculate the distance I ran. My fixed one loop is around 4.2km. It covers many things. Schools, Shopping malls, Canals, Mosque (??), Sports complex and many bus stops, up hills and down hills.

I'm starting to get hungrier and hungrier with less and less things to do. but it's strange I don't get more sleepy as the clock ticks. It's still high time for me. I really pretty much prefer to be asleep now.

About 6 more months or less to ORD. I've already got a shirt that prints ORD from a shop in Thailand. (for 4 bucks, awesome?). Going to course as 'instructors' for close to 2 months, then clear leave during Christmas season (December) and then Magic OFF all the way from there onwards. Three magic letters, 6 more months.

Anyway I'm probably going to Taiwan for holiday this year. Hope my leave clears!

Untitled

Sometimes I want to remind myself to be happy.

the same airport

I walked through the same airport, the same custom and checking out the same way back to my good ol' home Singapore. I had an exhausting 16 days, but still. I remember the last time I just did that.

Last year. Korea trip. You made life difficult for me. We had to quarrel via overseas SMS, it was heart aching and retarded for both me and my family. Now I'm glad. because I don't know why but I felt so free. leaving Singapore or coming back, there was no burden on me. thanks. because now i know you leaving me was the best thing that ever happened to me. I never have to care about your weird moodswings and stuff anymore. being single is cool. now i understand. i don't feel the need and urge to find opposite gender company anymore. because when i think carefully, those months weren't exactly happy either.

Airport. thanks for making me realize. because when it's the same setting and same environment, comparisons can be drawn. now i just need to focus on the things i need to achieve.

the magical milestone

We all used this phase quite often "after claymore. Claymore is not just simple 16 days out at Thailand. It is our major army milestone in our two years of national service. To me. it cuts 1.5 years from the remaining 6 months (or LESS!). And everything that I wanted to do before this legendary claymore was disrupted just because it was much easier to chuck everything aside and label it "after claymore to dos".

Today, I return to Changi with my duffel bag, assault bag and thousand of mosquito bites and a bad tan standing (quite languidly) but proud that the major thingy in my two years is now over and done with!

I plan to write a comprehensive and detailed journal of the excruciatingly painfully long 16 days there that seemed to perpetual. So no details here! but all I have to say is that. ORD lo!