Today was such a random yet meaningless yet 'time flies' kind of day. Wz and dex came over to play!. So actually dex turned up first this morning and he was made to watch me play Dota. And then wz came over and actually they both played dota and I rotted around doing lame stuff like reading newpaper and just flipping around my bed. Pretty aimless stuff. Dota's been okay, I think.
Naruto's one hour special out! Can't wait, it's already on my com itself. But yeah, waiting for my bro to watch it together. Something to look forward to man! afterall it's one hour special!
Holidays man, holidays.
Dex is enticing me to play WoW with him. Maybe I should, give it a try. But I got to pia music theory till grade 5 in less than a month. Exam's in november, I should start now. I wanna take my grade 6 practical next year. And again, I think im ambitious but, ambitious is good, I think. At least, it works for me.
Watched "The secret" with Wz and Dex since Ive bought the DVD. man, watch it too many times already. Watched it with my family ytd night, and my bros were like all over the music. Now my 2 other brothers are learning Secret now *evil grins* (i feel evilz cause I already know how to play it smoothly). They're keen on the piano battle pieces too. And I'm already more fluent on my piano battle 2...
I think secret is the best movie Ive watched so far, everything. Plot, storyline, humor and musi. No, im not a Jay fan, but I think the movie is fab. Seriously. Especially especially. That piano battle.
Now besides a weird unaccounted for number of annoynomous views on friendster I have unknown people adding me.
Anyway is it just me or aircon doesn't go well with fan and vice versa?? And why is it that it bothers me last night that the fan has 3 blades instead of 4. Would someone explain that to me?
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Morning.
Bored so Im blogging. Realised that not many people read my blog already haha.
Jlam rocks man! He dedicated a post to the "monsters in diary farm" which made feel me sooooo nostalgic and emo about that place. Damn, I wanna go back!!
It's holidays, but i ain't in the mood to go out. I am actually. But i wanna just go and visit those nostalgic places. Bp plaza brings back alot of memories, i think Jelapang too. All those places, Cck stadium. etc...
I realised ive been posting alot without much aim here and there.
Jlam rocks man! He dedicated a post to the "monsters in diary farm" which made feel me sooooo nostalgic and emo about that place. Damn, I wanna go back!!
It's holidays, but i ain't in the mood to go out. I am actually. But i wanna just go and visit those nostalgic places. Bp plaza brings back alot of memories, i think Jelapang too. All those places, Cck stadium. etc...
I realised ive been posting alot without much aim here and there.
Morning...
I woke up again feel nostalgia and sadness. I don't know why. I hate it, Im too free now. I better not let my thoughts idle. Exam periods were good...
Friday, September 28, 2007
So what now.
I have one week at my expense. Nothing really to do actually. to tell you the truth, life isn't very different now. I find myself getting not used to the abundance of time. So much, that I could sleep my entire afternoon away plus evening plus night and not feel a tiny drop of guilt within me. And when time is overwhelming, the mind gets too free, . I'd like to keep myself busy.
I'd like to narrate the past two weeks. Though it is very personal, but since a blog is supposed to be personal....Uhhh =X
A very tough two weeks indeed. Not going into much detail but as many can see from my blog post, from monday till wednesday evening i had problems with my ex, and we finally broke up one wednesday evening. Wednesday and thursday was supposed to be days I designated LONG ago (when seeing the exam timetable) to actually study for promos. Ended up, wednesday was spent thinking and thinking through many issues while thursday was used trying to get over everything, as well as not wanting everything to end just like that. it was really really really tough. I didn't really feel much better on friday. It's just the pain was so numb that I couldn't do anything anymore. Good thing I was forced to go for GP paper, and school actually did help. During the paper, I was spacing out here and there. Emo-ing during the paper. (not in the Alan way though..).
Time just dragged on. But things got better everyday. I felt significantly better everyday, which was a consolation. Getting over matters of the heart is not as easy as I thought. I took it very hard initially, but now Ive learnt to let go.
Friday. Friday. I went home, I tried to do some work. But failed miserably. I mean, I couldn't concentrate, at all. But i still did, some stuff. I forgot what they were, but I know my productivty was miserable.Saturday and Sunday. Things cleared up and felt alot better. (because of that support). I started working doubling hard in attempt to save all that lost time from the past one week.
Sunday. I got caught in the rain. Fell sick, gastric flu. Initially I thought it was just a normal cold when you get caught in the rain. But wrong I was wrong. It dragged from Sunday all the way to wednesday, all the way into my chem paper. Fever on and off, vommited like 20 times in total. And it disrupted me ALOT. After Chinese paper, I was bedridden the entire afternoon and night and even the morning before math paper. I went into the exam hall with a fever. Not very nice right? I could puke anytime. But tictacs and ribena saved me.
I coudln't eat anything. It's like a syndrome with lots of air in your stomach. Anything you eats gets throw out because there ain't space. And the air is churning which makes it uncomfortable and annoyining. That is precisely why I get nauseas and headaches.
It was tough, just so tough. Just when the wound in my heart is healing and I am on my way to recover and do something for my exams. I had to be down with sickness, real pure physical illness. That is just SO unlucky and untimely.
What has happened probably taught me a lesson. Don't do things last minute. Fortunately I think I have studied here and there along the way for this promos. If i don't make it, i don't know if I can blame circumstances. Things were really unfair to me, everything that happened, were like it was meant to make me fail.
Looking back now, I don't feel a single pulse of heartache. I have not totally gotten over everything, but still, I am still buffetted by what as happened over the past week. It's been one week plus, when everything has ended.
Everythng, and everything has taught me to be stronger. Not everyone has the chance to go through so much different sorts of pain in one short period of time. Everything crammed together, concentrated pain. And during an exam period.....priceless.
Okay. End of emo_
But how am I going to move on from here? How am I going to make use of this one week. Im not sure too. Will I mindlessly dota or idle around? do I find something useful and do? I don't know. Interhouse game is coming up and I think i should go unrust my badminton.
I'd like to narrate the past two weeks. Though it is very personal, but since a blog is supposed to be personal....Uhhh =X
A very tough two weeks indeed. Not going into much detail but as many can see from my blog post, from monday till wednesday evening i had problems with my ex, and we finally broke up one wednesday evening. Wednesday and thursday was supposed to be days I designated LONG ago (when seeing the exam timetable) to actually study for promos. Ended up, wednesday was spent thinking and thinking through many issues while thursday was used trying to get over everything, as well as not wanting everything to end just like that. it was really really really tough. I didn't really feel much better on friday. It's just the pain was so numb that I couldn't do anything anymore. Good thing I was forced to go for GP paper, and school actually did help. During the paper, I was spacing out here and there. Emo-ing during the paper. (not in the Alan way though..).
Time just dragged on. But things got better everyday. I felt significantly better everyday, which was a consolation. Getting over matters of the heart is not as easy as I thought. I took it very hard initially, but now Ive learnt to let go.
Friday. Friday. I went home, I tried to do some work. But failed miserably. I mean, I couldn't concentrate, at all. But i still did, some stuff. I forgot what they were, but I know my productivty was miserable.Saturday and Sunday. Things cleared up and felt alot better. (because of that support). I started working doubling hard in attempt to save all that lost time from the past one week.
Sunday. I got caught in the rain. Fell sick, gastric flu. Initially I thought it was just a normal cold when you get caught in the rain. But wrong I was wrong. It dragged from Sunday all the way to wednesday, all the way into my chem paper. Fever on and off, vommited like 20 times in total. And it disrupted me ALOT. After Chinese paper, I was bedridden the entire afternoon and night and even the morning before math paper. I went into the exam hall with a fever. Not very nice right? I could puke anytime. But tictacs and ribena saved me.
I coudln't eat anything. It's like a syndrome with lots of air in your stomach. Anything you eats gets throw out because there ain't space. And the air is churning which makes it uncomfortable and annoyining. That is precisely why I get nauseas and headaches.
It was tough, just so tough. Just when the wound in my heart is healing and I am on my way to recover and do something for my exams. I had to be down with sickness, real pure physical illness. That is just SO unlucky and untimely.
What has happened probably taught me a lesson. Don't do things last minute. Fortunately I think I have studied here and there along the way for this promos. If i don't make it, i don't know if I can blame circumstances. Things were really unfair to me, everything that happened, were like it was meant to make me fail.
Looking back now, I don't feel a single pulse of heartache. I have not totally gotten over everything, but still, I am still buffetted by what as happened over the past week. It's been one week plus, when everything has ended.
Everythng, and everything has taught me to be stronger. Not everyone has the chance to go through so much different sorts of pain in one short period of time. Everything crammed together, concentrated pain. And during an exam period.....priceless.
Okay. End of emo_
But how am I going to move on from here? How am I going to make use of this one week. Im not sure too. Will I mindlessly dota or idle around? do I find something useful and do? I don't know. Interhouse game is coming up and I think i should go unrust my badminton.
Can't resist it but
I know people have exams starting next week or throughout next week. But im done with mine. It ended, all at 11:50. But who knows if I might be taking it again next year :(
I think I should be fine. Should be able to scrape an E for my H2s. Anyway who cares. A pass is a pass, no matter how many secondary peeps give me that "-.-" face when I tell them 45 is a pass, it's a PASS okay and that's gonna get me up. That's no moral values to it, I tell u, 45 45 45 all the way man.
It's not time to worry.It's time to party.
I think I should be fine. Should be able to scrape an E for my H2s. Anyway who cares. A pass is a pass, no matter how many secondary peeps give me that "-.-" face when I tell them 45 is a pass, it's a PASS okay and that's gonna get me up. That's no moral values to it, I tell u, 45 45 45 all the way man.
It's not time to worry.It's time to party.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Surreal
I slept. Had a dream. Memories overwhelmed me. why is that that I always dream of you, and us together. But when I wake up I come to a rude shock. a shock of reality-we're not together anymore, you're far far away, i will never see you again. and the worst of all, PHYSICS PAPER TOMMOROW.
I need to dream of more useful stuff. For example, how to do forces and how to draw free-body diagrams. (im clueless still though). Phy phy phy phy. Nooo....it has been weak from secondary school, guess it will still be weak as before. But i will go and pass tommorow, by hook or crook. I haven't failed any physics test actually (except horrible ol midyears).
and a side note, I feel glad im not at a chalet enjoying myself the day before physics paper. maybe just by this i will be able to double my score from the mid years and scrap a pass. Hopefully.
Im blogging agian. And im hopelessly hooked onto to piano battle video on youtube. And im done with Jay's improvisation of Chopin's waltz. Just not fast enough. And I learnt that when I was supposed to be studying geog damnit.
Gonna finish it up by this weekend and then Piano Battle 1. Im ambitious. Darn ambitious.
It's pretty obvious who's that annoynomous though. "friend". And caps does tell that this person actually paused, typed and paused and typed and and emphasized on certain words. " you may not know me ", that is such a give away. I'm not stupid...
I need to dream of more useful stuff. For example, how to do forces and how to draw free-body diagrams. (im clueless still though). Phy phy phy phy. Nooo....it has been weak from secondary school, guess it will still be weak as before. But i will go and pass tommorow, by hook or crook. I haven't failed any physics test actually (except horrible ol midyears).
and a side note, I feel glad im not at a chalet enjoying myself the day before physics paper. maybe just by this i will be able to double my score from the mid years and scrap a pass. Hopefully.
Im blogging agian. And im hopelessly hooked onto to piano battle video on youtube. And im done with Jay's improvisation of Chopin's waltz. Just not fast enough. And I learnt that when I was supposed to be studying geog damnit.
Gonna finish it up by this weekend and then Piano Battle 1. Im ambitious. Darn ambitious.
It's pretty obvious who's that annoynomous though. "friend". And caps does tell that this person actually paused, typed and paused and typed and and emphasized on certain words. " you may not know me ", that is such a give away. I'm not stupid...
Okay what now
I am considering my options.
Physics tommorow. Do I heck it now? I am quite sure I can promote with math,chem and geog. (though not really very very entirely sure but yea). do I need this buffer?
Ans:I think so.
Incase anything screws up. (which I got a bad feeling about it)
but i am so darn sleepy now.
Do I
1) Sleep, and rest. Wake up refresh formulas and definitions
2) GO DO REVISION PACKAGE, mug like crazy
3) Focus fire on certain topics
My physics is basically weak. But i think it will be better this time.
Topics I cannot do : Forces
Topics I am not good at : Thermal, Measurement
Topics I need to study : Ocsillation, Gravitational Field
Topics I have confidence : Circular Motion, Dynamics, Kinematics,
So basically. I think i'll work on everything except forces. That should give me the 50 marks I need to pass phy.
Physics tommorow. Do I heck it now? I am quite sure I can promote with math,chem and geog. (though not really very very entirely sure but yea). do I need this buffer?
Ans:I think so.
Incase anything screws up. (which I got a bad feeling about it)
but i am so darn sleepy now.
Do I
1) Sleep, and rest. Wake up refresh formulas and definitions
2) GO DO REVISION PACKAGE, mug like crazy
3) Focus fire on certain topics
My physics is basically weak. But i think it will be better this time.
Topics I cannot do : Forces
Topics I am not good at : Thermal, Measurement
Topics I need to study : Ocsillation, Gravitational Field
Topics I have confidence : Circular Motion, Dynamics, Kinematics,
So basically. I think i'll work on everything except forces. That should give me the 50 marks I need to pass phy.
geog geog geog
Okay. I need 51 marks to pass geog.
which translates to 38.5 marks out of 75 for today's paper.
Scary. The exact same question with the exact same model answer was what I was reading the day before. I didn't really pay attention to it (it's the massmovement,water question). But I still vaguely got most of the stuff down. Freaky. And as expected, my trusty italy came out, which is good.
The most scary part of this paper is my choice was alternating from either to or and back again. Bad planning. I did write the intro paragraphs for both essay 3 and 4 twice before deciding what to do. Ended up wasted 30 minutes or so.
I was worried. But i think thankfully my marks will be quite safe. I think. passing shouldn't be a problem. At least because they tested only what I know.
which translates to 38.5 marks out of 75 for today's paper.
Scary. The exact same question with the exact same model answer was what I was reading the day before. I didn't really pay attention to it (it's the massmovement,water question). But I still vaguely got most of the stuff down. Freaky. And as expected, my trusty italy came out, which is good.
The most scary part of this paper is my choice was alternating from either to or and back again. Bad planning. I did write the intro paragraphs for both essay 3 and 4 twice before deciding what to do. Ended up wasted 30 minutes or so.
I was worried. But i think thankfully my marks will be quite safe. I think. passing shouldn't be a problem. At least because they tested only what I know.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
RANTS!!!
I was stuck to my mattress the whole of yesterd and today.
And that is why I mixed Tollen's and Fehlings. Today, chem paper. Made all the stupid mistakes. Even Phosphrous Trichloride and Silicon Tetrachloride also think BOTH nonpolar. WTH la. i duno what is my frigging brain doing. Wasted like 6 marks just like that...
I think I'll still pass but....
I expected to make use of Organic chem. But end up, I couldn't remember much because I wasn't given my last minute to revise and recap everything. Even equations and stuff were all very mixed up (which explains tollens and fehlings.). Damnit. Damnit! Why did I have to fall sick at this time? WHY?
It's over already. No point crying over spilt marks.They had to screw us with tough tough super tough paper ONE. Mcq la, but nevermind. Mcq base rate already 25%, should have brought my trusty dice along. but okay, I rather MCQ difficult than other part difficult.
I suck at chemical bonding and I just realise that.
My organic chem is totally useless without recapping everything last minute and the last time I actually touched them was before that lecture test!! >_<
But for some reason, I felt as if I could do moles and redox. Why? And I actually could remember the ideal gas asusmptions...So there were good and bads to this paper.
I think my brain is not working for some reason.
Maths and chem should be able to pass. Should. I hope. And then geog tommorow, though who ever fails geog gets the honor of repeating J1. Damnit. Geog, Haven't really done anything for it. geog geog geog geog. AHHH.
But it's somewhat of a consolation seeing Collin sleeping tommorow during exam.... That ____has 3As for H2 will even have his bargaining rights even if he fails geog. He will get to promote. Shrugs, life is unfair.
Now I know. Never to discuss anything about a paper after you have done t. Either you boost your morale or you depress yourself BADLY. and most likely it's the latter.
It's probably 70-30% pass rate for me, for both math and chem (though chem i think slighltly higher). And now I actually think I should mug badly for my physics.
And geog.
Woohoo. Please. Spot topic spot topic spot topic.
Now, physics. Please give me an EASY paper.
And that is why I mixed Tollen's and Fehlings. Today, chem paper. Made all the stupid mistakes. Even Phosphrous Trichloride and Silicon Tetrachloride also think BOTH nonpolar. WTH la. i duno what is my frigging brain doing. Wasted like 6 marks just like that...
I think I'll still pass but....
I expected to make use of Organic chem. But end up, I couldn't remember much because I wasn't given my last minute to revise and recap everything. Even equations and stuff were all very mixed up (which explains tollens and fehlings.). Damnit. Damnit! Why did I have to fall sick at this time? WHY?
It's over already. No point crying over spilt marks.They had to screw us with tough tough super tough paper ONE. Mcq la, but nevermind. Mcq base rate already 25%, should have brought my trusty dice along. but okay, I rather MCQ difficult than other part difficult.
I suck at chemical bonding and I just realise that.
My organic chem is totally useless without recapping everything last minute and the last time I actually touched them was before that lecture test!! >_<
But for some reason, I felt as if I could do moles and redox. Why? And I actually could remember the ideal gas asusmptions...So there were good and bads to this paper.
I think my brain is not working for some reason.
Maths and chem should be able to pass. Should. I hope. And then geog tommorow, though who ever fails geog gets the honor of repeating J1. Damnit. Geog, Haven't really done anything for it. geog geog geog geog. AHHH.
But it's somewhat of a consolation seeing Collin sleeping tommorow during exam.... That ____has 3As for H2 will even have his bargaining rights even if he fails geog. He will get to promote. Shrugs, life is unfair.
Now I know. Never to discuss anything about a paper after you have done t. Either you boost your morale or you depress yourself BADLY. and most likely it's the latter.
It's probably 70-30% pass rate for me, for both math and chem (though chem i think slighltly higher). And now I actually think I should mug badly for my physics.
And geog.
Woohoo. Please. Spot topic spot topic spot topic.
Now, physics. Please give me an EASY paper.
Recovered more or less
Today when I woke up the sky sorta cleared. As in, the sky I saw this morning wasn't dull and black. More or less though not entirely the clouds are clearing. The weirdest thing is I experienced hunger the moment I woke up. Gastrc flu is no joke. Hopefully Im clear of it now.
Imagine if you can, you cannot and cannot get anything down your throat into your stomach. because if you do, you'll puke 30 minutes after the moment of consumption. Everything, everything comes out. You absorb ZERO, nothing at all. Then you get headache because you're hungry, but hungry so what? You can't eat! You can't drink! You can't consume anything. Even if you do, it gets thrown out. There are lotsa wind in the stomach, and you will burp and break wind thousands of times. That causes stomach aches, cramps and all sorts of weird feeling. Nausea is the worst among all. While having this, nausea was like a passive feeling all the while. Not good, left me bed-ridden for the past day while I had math in the afternoon. A totally not a very good idea huh.
Well, I still went. Staggered my way to the exam hall and in that 3 hour long gruelling battle Tictacs and Ribena was my sole companion. I can't deny that fact that Im horribly ill, haven't eaten anything in the past few days. But fortunately I guess all that SUGAR RUSH (from tictacs) eventually got my engine going. And I have to pass this. Ive calculated and calculated, I need 43 to pass maths, (or 44), and that isn't that hard right? 3 hour paper kills especially when you can't stand. Groggy groggy. It's like fighting pain with pain. Now i don't really see the pain in doing math as more of my strenght was used to overcome the demon within.
Oh well, Chem today. Im not really prepared. Have a few hours to go before the paper begins. Chem is the least of my worries. But due to all that setbacks that deprive me of that last minute, unforuntately I wasn't able to do the past year paper.
As Ive said, the relieve of pain is the greatest happiness ever.
Im so glad and thankful that Ive recovered (both mentally and physically), the rain has stopped and the rainbow is up high shining upon me.
But still, I wonder if I'll make it through this time.
Study study. Chem!
Imagine if you can, you cannot and cannot get anything down your throat into your stomach. because if you do, you'll puke 30 minutes after the moment of consumption. Everything, everything comes out. You absorb ZERO, nothing at all. Then you get headache because you're hungry, but hungry so what? You can't eat! You can't drink! You can't consume anything. Even if you do, it gets thrown out. There are lotsa wind in the stomach, and you will burp and break wind thousands of times. That causes stomach aches, cramps and all sorts of weird feeling. Nausea is the worst among all. While having this, nausea was like a passive feeling all the while. Not good, left me bed-ridden for the past day while I had math in the afternoon. A totally not a very good idea huh.
Well, I still went. Staggered my way to the exam hall and in that 3 hour long gruelling battle Tictacs and Ribena was my sole companion. I can't deny that fact that Im horribly ill, haven't eaten anything in the past few days. But fortunately I guess all that SUGAR RUSH (from tictacs) eventually got my engine going. And I have to pass this. Ive calculated and calculated, I need 43 to pass maths, (or 44), and that isn't that hard right? 3 hour paper kills especially when you can't stand. Groggy groggy. It's like fighting pain with pain. Now i don't really see the pain in doing math as more of my strenght was used to overcome the demon within.
Oh well, Chem today. Im not really prepared. Have a few hours to go before the paper begins. Chem is the least of my worries. But due to all that setbacks that deprive me of that last minute, unforuntately I wasn't able to do the past year paper.
As Ive said, the relieve of pain is the greatest happiness ever.
Im so glad and thankful that Ive recovered (both mentally and physically), the rain has stopped and the rainbow is up high shining upon me.
But still, I wonder if I'll make it through this time.
Study study. Chem!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Really sick
Lets see.
I threw up 10+ times yesterday
and 3 times today (and it's only 9 plus).
woah woah woah.
Im like so gone case.
I threw up 10+ times yesterday
and 3 times today (and it's only 9 plus).
woah woah woah.
Im like so gone case.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Sick minds don't go well with Chinese
Chinese paper, I would say it was okay. Except I totally screwed my ill mind deciphering foreign lanquage. Don't get me wrong, I am confident of a pass, but it sapped me of my energy. All my energy, mana. Now, I just need fountain.
Being sick durnig exam period is already bad enough. The past week, emotional hurt and stuff really got into me. What could be worst than all this untimely stuff. One by one, they would even hurt enough. But everything together is really chaotic pain.
Let it be. Pain for all I care. The only comfort in pain is the relieve of it someday.
One more week or 4 days more of examinations. Jiayou!
Being sick durnig exam period is already bad enough. The past week, emotional hurt and stuff really got into me. What could be worst than all this untimely stuff. One by one, they would even hurt enough. But everything together is really chaotic pain.
Let it be. Pain for all I care. The only comfort in pain is the relieve of it someday.
One more week or 4 days more of examinations. Jiayou!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Timely
Everything is too much to be a coincidence.
Im horribly sick now. It's probably walking in the rain today. I asked my anut to fetch me from the bus stop. She didn't bring her Hp along (wow!) and then the bus driver overshoot my stop even though I ringed. And then I got let off like 200 metres away from the actual spot. not very long distance to walk, but in the rain, thatcan be frigging long!
Im sensitive to rain. A little bit and i'll be sick. Horribly sick.
Havind mild fever, threw up thrice just now. horrible. Everything is just too timely to be true. As in, too untimely infact. But i believe all this happens for a reason. First, emotional problems, matters of the hearts. Just when I was healing fine...and on the way to somewhat a recovery, I have to be down with such physical conditions. And it's promo time. How much strength will I need? I don't know. Situations and circumstances are crippling me horribly for the promos, how can you expect a last minute worker to do well when he isn't given that last minute?
But I trust that "if he puts you through, he will see you through".
Tommorow i may be letting go chinese and rest. Fortunately, tommorow's chinese. If it' others, Im so screwed.
Im horribly sick now. It's probably walking in the rain today. I asked my anut to fetch me from the bus stop. She didn't bring her Hp along (wow!) and then the bus driver overshoot my stop even though I ringed. And then I got let off like 200 metres away from the actual spot. not very long distance to walk, but in the rain, thatcan be frigging long!
Im sensitive to rain. A little bit and i'll be sick. Horribly sick.
Havind mild fever, threw up thrice just now. horrible. Everything is just too timely to be true. As in, too untimely infact. But i believe all this happens for a reason. First, emotional problems, matters of the hearts. Just when I was healing fine...and on the way to somewhat a recovery, I have to be down with such physical conditions. And it's promo time. How much strength will I need? I don't know. Situations and circumstances are crippling me horribly for the promos, how can you expect a last minute worker to do well when he isn't given that last minute?
But I trust that "if he puts you through, he will see you through".
Tommorow i may be letting go chinese and rest. Fortunately, tommorow's chinese. If it' others, Im so screwed.
Mystery
Why do I have 32 frenster views when i only see 12 people viewing my profile. the other 20 are repeat ones? annoynomous people?
It's time to return what I crave. Lots of badminton after promos. Interhse games coming up. I think jonathan sim is my first opponent. Scary lah. Scary scary scary. If im really against him I don't think I can win at this state. I must really pia the one week after to get back any form if I want any chance. Somemore I promised polo house to win, and then Im going to lose at the first round? nooo. but sometimes it's inevitable. I don't think i can win jonathan sim. but i haven't seen the fixtures....maybe wp is lying to me. Evil -.-
okay...tml is MT paper. 3 hour of nonsense. Hate it.
One more week. Jiayou!
It's time to return what I crave. Lots of badminton after promos. Interhse games coming up. I think jonathan sim is my first opponent. Scary lah. Scary scary scary. If im really against him I don't think I can win at this state. I must really pia the one week after to get back any form if I want any chance. Somemore I promised polo house to win, and then Im going to lose at the first round? nooo. but sometimes it's inevitable. I don't think i can win jonathan sim. but i haven't seen the fixtures....maybe wp is lying to me. Evil -.-
okay...tml is MT paper. 3 hour of nonsense. Hate it.
One more week. Jiayou!
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Nostalgia
Visited a place of memories today. Tons of memories. But i agree, time dilutes everything. perceptions have changed.
The lift that seemed so big to me years ago now felt small and compact. The area outside the door and the minigarden now seemed insignificant. that space that felt so big now felt so small.
I didn't dare walk in because I was scared I would inccur the wrath of emo me. The place where I grew up. I am really attached to places...
Okay. So I visited Dairy farm today. My old house. Well not really. Jlam lives there so I went his house to supposingly study geog. Geog geog geog, I don't have my physical geog notes so I had to made my own there. Did some stuff actually. it's just one more week, hang in there and don't regret....
It's so, so, so....weird. I was small, then. So everything seemed so big. What big today isn't big tommorow because people change. What matters today does not mean it will be important tommorow. Now im small, eventually, I will grow. And then, matters like this will not hurt anymore. And someday I will be able to look back and think that what I used to think was sooo big, was actually that small.
Optimistic.
I think im crazy. Im attempting piano battle 2 from Secret.
It's time, to turn the tide. And fight the battle that is waiting.
The lift that seemed so big to me years ago now felt small and compact. The area outside the door and the minigarden now seemed insignificant. that space that felt so big now felt so small.
I didn't dare walk in because I was scared I would inccur the wrath of emo me. The place where I grew up. I am really attached to places...
Okay. So I visited Dairy farm today. My old house. Well not really. Jlam lives there so I went his house to supposingly study geog. Geog geog geog, I don't have my physical geog notes so I had to made my own there. Did some stuff actually. it's just one more week, hang in there and don't regret....
It's so, so, so....weird. I was small, then. So everything seemed so big. What big today isn't big tommorow because people change. What matters today does not mean it will be important tommorow. Now im small, eventually, I will grow. And then, matters like this will not hurt anymore. And someday I will be able to look back and think that what I used to think was sooo big, was actually that small.
Optimistic.
I think im crazy. Im attempting piano battle 2 from Secret.
It's time, to turn the tide. And fight the battle that is waiting.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Recover
Recovery.
Feel proud that you have been hurt. Because it means that you put your heart into it.
Ive done bad things, said nasty words. Im sorry.
Recovery will take time. But i can see it's steep progress. Perhaps, recovery is an exponential?
I walked that route and saw those benches today. I felt so dry and numb i don't feel sad anymore. Is it what people mean by getting over?
Promos coming up. Don't worry. though i may seem to have abandoned myself and gave up hope for a while, even for that few days. Im back on my feet. It's just whether it's too late or not. But still, I will try. because i don't want to make you feel bad.
Anger,sadness,happiness,relief, gratefulness I felt all these emotions so powerful the last few days. Today I have been able to talk of it just like it was the past. Fortunately, guys do recover fast. Just take it like a flu, a cold. That will last a couple of days. Maybe the most into weeks. It gradually fades, fades and fades.
Thank you everyone for their support. Thanks everyone for their patience. Thanks to this ordeal Ive realised I have so many friends around me to support me no matter how much I might seem to be like a burden. (i'll do an official post soon).
Okay. Im going to sleep. Going to Jlam's to study tommorow. Hopefully, despite all setbacks, I will still be able to make it.
Feel proud that you have been hurt. Because it means that you put your heart into it.
Ive done bad things, said nasty words. Im sorry.
Recovery will take time. But i can see it's steep progress. Perhaps, recovery is an exponential?
I walked that route and saw those benches today. I felt so dry and numb i don't feel sad anymore. Is it what people mean by getting over?
Promos coming up. Don't worry. though i may seem to have abandoned myself and gave up hope for a while, even for that few days. Im back on my feet. It's just whether it's too late or not. But still, I will try. because i don't want to make you feel bad.
Anger,sadness,happiness,relief, gratefulness I felt all these emotions so powerful the last few days. Today I have been able to talk of it just like it was the past. Fortunately, guys do recover fast. Just take it like a flu, a cold. That will last a couple of days. Maybe the most into weeks. It gradually fades, fades and fades.
Thank you everyone for their support. Thanks everyone for their patience. Thanks to this ordeal Ive realised I have so many friends around me to support me no matter how much I might seem to be like a burden. (i'll do an official post soon).
Okay. Im going to sleep. Going to Jlam's to study tommorow. Hopefully, despite all setbacks, I will still be able to make it.
ROFL
The following questions and answers were collected from last year's GCSE exams, and are some of the answers given by British students writing their fifth form GCSE Exams last year. These are genuine responses from 16 year olds.
Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Sociology
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g.abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.
English
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. {do dishes}
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Technology
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab or Seikh wears on his head.
Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Sociology
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g.abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.
English
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. {do dishes}
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Technology
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab or Seikh wears on his head.
Looking forward
I guess when I thought I have nothing to look forward to. I realised what I can look forward to is the day when I wake up without any pain. It was hard, past few days. But ive come to terms with it. I woke up without feeling sad.I didn't feel passively upset or anything close. It's getting weaker, weaker and weaker. Very soon I will be back to normal, happy me.
GP
to the one ive cut contact with. if you still come, here, this is the only way you'll be able to see how im doing. and whether it does ease ur guilt, i don't know.
anyway GP paper today.
Topic I wrote, "the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer. this is an unfair fact of life". I think i did it pretty fine. Using alot of examples from economic geog. Quite lame though. But i think i'll be able to pull a 30 for this.
Compre was bad. Im not sure what defines bad. I screwed AQ not knowing the format. I spamemd the teacher without paragraphing, proper stuff, but instead one lump of essay format crap. I wonder. I wonder. but the rest was okay.
Overall, Im able to pass, I think. But sometimes....unfortunate things do happen. but i got my 60 marks mid yr as a buffer. incase.
anyway GP paper today.
Topic I wrote, "the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer. this is an unfair fact of life". I think i did it pretty fine. Using alot of examples from economic geog. Quite lame though. But i think i'll be able to pull a 30 for this.
Compre was bad. Im not sure what defines bad. I screwed AQ not knowing the format. I spamemd the teacher without paragraphing, proper stuff, but instead one lump of essay format crap. I wonder. I wonder. but the rest was okay.
Overall, Im able to pass, I think. But sometimes....unfortunate things do happen. but i got my 60 marks mid yr as a buffer. incase.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Reverting back to normal life
13 weeks. that was fast.
now i know, not to trust people too much.
believing in people brings about such fate. blame myself. God send so many people to warn me, yet I didn't heed these advices. I went ahead and this is the consequences I reap today. But whether it is a blessing in disguise, I have not move on far enough to realize. Learn tons of things from this experience.
Afterall this will be a mere experience. Nothing but an experience. perhaps when I look back next time I would probably just laugh at myself for being stupid. Was it a big mistake? I don't know. But at least I get to experience what people say it's "love". though puppy in nature, but when 2 people really did love each other, no matter how short the time was, it is something that people can't miss.
It is better to have loved and lost rather than to have never loved before. (or something along this lines).
But I know if we hang on, there will be hundreds and thousands of problems waiting for us. The future doesn't look bright. Infact, it is soo gloomy that it is disturbing that it exerts pressure and burden on it. Perhaps Ive always wanted this termination, but I didn't have the courage to do it. I can't believe I let matters of the heart cloud my judgement.
But now I felt like Ive done the right thing. Though sad it might be, I can't bear reflecting on memories. The emotional attachment that detaches suddenly is the one that kills. But i don't blame you for it.
what was i doing? i knew something like this was gonna happen, but i deluded myself. my fear actually did materialise.
but anyway burden's off. my emotions now are a complex solutions of different feelings. sadness yes. mild anger? regret? (though not remorse), happiness, lightness? (yet heaviness sometimes). Moving on is what I need. Though I do not think I will be able to cherish our memories just yet.
waking up is the worst feeling ever.
though sad it might be, i am determined to revert back to normal life. before all this i knew no sadness. carefree and happy, what bothered me? nothing. but you had to walk into my life. unfortunately or fortunately, i don't know.
All i know now is that there's this transition period here I have to face. sweetest memories are the one that would haunt and hurt the most.
All this now become a scar, but through this scar I will grow up. But in the future, I will find it hard to trust girls. Feelings do fade, but did here and there. But eventually one has to learn of commitment to carry on. If this matter is not solved, I will seriously pray hard for your future boyfriend.
But today I am here being able to take this in stride. I mean, I am not going to be weak anymore. You said I was strong. Yes I am. And Im not going to cry.
I think after this period emoness will never find me anymore. I will be back to happy happy me.
What Ive said here is an accurate reflection on what I feel. Painful feelings and sadness, I do feel them inevitably but there is also happiness and sense of relief.
It won't be instant moving on or getting over, but gradually. Time heals and I believe that.
And I do believe in this analogy. when two people engage in a fight. it is more painful to be punched but in the end is the aggresor that suffers more. though physically pain (and emotional in this case), the person who got punched will definitely be at ease because he knows no wrong. there's no need to pity myself.
I realised faithfulness is not just an attribute or prerequisite to relationships, It is a gift and I am blessed with it. I am a fool to think that everyone should be like me.
When, they're obviously not!
now i know, not to trust people too much.
believing in people brings about such fate. blame myself. God send so many people to warn me, yet I didn't heed these advices. I went ahead and this is the consequences I reap today. But whether it is a blessing in disguise, I have not move on far enough to realize. Learn tons of things from this experience.
Afterall this will be a mere experience. Nothing but an experience. perhaps when I look back next time I would probably just laugh at myself for being stupid. Was it a big mistake? I don't know. But at least I get to experience what people say it's "love". though puppy in nature, but when 2 people really did love each other, no matter how short the time was, it is something that people can't miss.
It is better to have loved and lost rather than to have never loved before. (or something along this lines).
But I know if we hang on, there will be hundreds and thousands of problems waiting for us. The future doesn't look bright. Infact, it is soo gloomy that it is disturbing that it exerts pressure and burden on it. Perhaps Ive always wanted this termination, but I didn't have the courage to do it. I can't believe I let matters of the heart cloud my judgement.
But now I felt like Ive done the right thing. Though sad it might be, I can't bear reflecting on memories. The emotional attachment that detaches suddenly is the one that kills. But i don't blame you for it.
what was i doing? i knew something like this was gonna happen, but i deluded myself. my fear actually did materialise.
but anyway burden's off. my emotions now are a complex solutions of different feelings. sadness yes. mild anger? regret? (though not remorse), happiness, lightness? (yet heaviness sometimes). Moving on is what I need. Though I do not think I will be able to cherish our memories just yet.
waking up is the worst feeling ever.
though sad it might be, i am determined to revert back to normal life. before all this i knew no sadness. carefree and happy, what bothered me? nothing. but you had to walk into my life. unfortunately or fortunately, i don't know.
All i know now is that there's this transition period here I have to face. sweetest memories are the one that would haunt and hurt the most.
All this now become a scar, but through this scar I will grow up. But in the future, I will find it hard to trust girls. Feelings do fade, but did here and there. But eventually one has to learn of commitment to carry on. If this matter is not solved, I will seriously pray hard for your future boyfriend.
But today I am here being able to take this in stride. I mean, I am not going to be weak anymore. You said I was strong. Yes I am. And Im not going to cry.
I think after this period emoness will never find me anymore. I will be back to happy happy me.
What Ive said here is an accurate reflection on what I feel. Painful feelings and sadness, I do feel them inevitably but there is also happiness and sense of relief.
It won't be instant moving on or getting over, but gradually. Time heals and I believe that.
And I do believe in this analogy. when two people engage in a fight. it is more painful to be punched but in the end is the aggresor that suffers more. though physically pain (and emotional in this case), the person who got punched will definitely be at ease because he knows no wrong. there's no need to pity myself.
I realised faithfulness is not just an attribute or prerequisite to relationships, It is a gift and I am blessed with it. I am a fool to think that everyone should be like me.
When, they're obviously not!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
I don't now?
Decisions to make.
Things to let go
Brain vs feelings..
Total mess.
Who likes diluted love with concentrated pain?
Ive had enough.
But im more indecisive as I expected. What's stopping me?
Things to let go
Brain vs feelings..
Total mess.
Who likes diluted love with concentrated pain?
Ive had enough.
But im more indecisive as I expected. What's stopping me?
Secret
No matter how much I bang the keys
It wouldn't let me go back in time.
And I really tried.
I'll try again later.
It wouldn't let me go back in time.
And I really tried.
I'll try again later.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Emoness
Shoot me.
I skipped school.
Emoing around again.
Horrible time last night. can't control my anger, ended up yelling at you again. You fell asleep. I banged the wall. Was it my fault? Or was it yours? I could only vaguely remember, that I was feeling stranded on my bed, 2am in the morning, without a single soul to company me. Only the sound of you breathing, but you were asleep.No matter how much I screamed, you wouldn't wake up. Was it my fault? Am I making a big fuss out of nothing?
Till now, you're at school. Im at home, waiting for your call. The sadness have dissociated but it has simply become dilute over time. The amount of sadness remains, just that time, like water, dilutes it. Im okay. Im fine. I thought.
Why do we fight in the night and wake up pretending nothing as happened...
Why do we fight and resolve nothing in the end?
Hiding..Hiding..Hiding.
I felt hunger for company. No one picked their phones. It's understandable, 2am in the morning. No one would. I was lying there, like a zombie, hearing you breathing away in deep sleep. Thinking to myself, " i shouldn't have made a big fuss over something small ". And once again, Ive blown matters big.
3:30am. I was already at terminal emoness. I comtemplated doing alot of silly things. I think life is too tough, I feel I cannot go on. The loneliness was killing me.
Was it the coffee? or was it the anger that was keeping me distinctively awake. Time nulified anger after awhile, converted it into sadness. I pulled my hair in frustration. Screaming "there's a dagger in my heart".
Why do I wake up thinking, " i was being stupid and nothing really happened but me hallucinating".
I called my brother up. He talked to me. Though short, he was half alseep. The words, of another human being consoled me to a very large extent.
4:30am, I fell asleep.
5:00am, you called me. You sounded so sleepy and muffled i coudlm't make out what you were saying. but i know didn't say much. I was sleepy too.
You said you would message me in school.
You didn't.
And now, Im still waiting.
Ive not been nice. I know. But you too.
I skipped school.
Emoing around again.
Horrible time last night. can't control my anger, ended up yelling at you again. You fell asleep. I banged the wall. Was it my fault? Or was it yours? I could only vaguely remember, that I was feeling stranded on my bed, 2am in the morning, without a single soul to company me. Only the sound of you breathing, but you were asleep.No matter how much I screamed, you wouldn't wake up. Was it my fault? Am I making a big fuss out of nothing?
Till now, you're at school. Im at home, waiting for your call. The sadness have dissociated but it has simply become dilute over time. The amount of sadness remains, just that time, like water, dilutes it. Im okay. Im fine. I thought.
Why do we fight in the night and wake up pretending nothing as happened...
Why do we fight and resolve nothing in the end?
Hiding..Hiding..Hiding.
I felt hunger for company. No one picked their phones. It's understandable, 2am in the morning. No one would. I was lying there, like a zombie, hearing you breathing away in deep sleep. Thinking to myself, " i shouldn't have made a big fuss over something small ". And once again, Ive blown matters big.
3:30am. I was already at terminal emoness. I comtemplated doing alot of silly things. I think life is too tough, I feel I cannot go on. The loneliness was killing me.
Was it the coffee? or was it the anger that was keeping me distinctively awake. Time nulified anger after awhile, converted it into sadness. I pulled my hair in frustration. Screaming "there's a dagger in my heart".
Why do I wake up thinking, " i was being stupid and nothing really happened but me hallucinating".
I called my brother up. He talked to me. Though short, he was half alseep. The words, of another human being consoled me to a very large extent.
4:30am, I fell asleep.
5:00am, you called me. You sounded so sleepy and muffled i coudlm't make out what you were saying. but i know didn't say much. I was sleepy too.
You said you would message me in school.
You didn't.
And now, Im still waiting.
Ive not been nice. I know. But you too.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Rotting Lungs
School was HORRIBLE. Very horrible. Not because lessons seemed eternally neverending, but because it stinks. Not figuratively, but literally.
Even the deaf and the blind would probably have noticed this. Recently, the school's been undergoing some paint job. I don't know for how long (seemed for quite sometime). but apparently I noticed that they started painting the more "accessible" regions and pathways like today? for example, the common staircases. The smell is unbearable. Even if it was, it managed to give me a bad headache. Perhaps Im just sensitive. It pays to have a block nose, but too bad life ain't that timely.
But some consolation for me actually is that they finally dug a BACKGATE at the back of PJC. So now, at least maybe and hopefully BY tommorow I will be able to go home in like 5 minutes faster, which makes it 7-10 minutes of walk home, which is really very fun. I mean, nice. Just nice.
Even the deaf and the blind would probably have noticed this. Recently, the school's been undergoing some paint job. I don't know for how long (seemed for quite sometime). but apparently I noticed that they started painting the more "accessible" regions and pathways like today? for example, the common staircases. The smell is unbearable. Even if it was, it managed to give me a bad headache. Perhaps Im just sensitive. It pays to have a block nose, but too bad life ain't that timely.
But some consolation for me actually is that they finally dug a BACKGATE at the back of PJC. So now, at least maybe and hopefully BY tommorow I will be able to go home in like 5 minutes faster, which makes it 7-10 minutes of walk home, which is really very fun. I mean, nice. Just nice.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Jlam's quiz
DiViNE EViL
A...survey?
I will create a new survey! Wahahaaha.
TehSurVeY Part 1
001. What do you think about thick trees?
they produce the PJC foolscap papers which are soo thick.
002. Have you ever tried sleeping face down?
Taking upwards to be negative, im always sleeping face down.
003. What's the colour of your chair?
yellow and black. dangerous
004. What's your favourite subject?
I guess...nothing.
005. If you could come up with your own values, what would you prioritize?
Don't people always come out with their own values?
I mean, maybe Love, Family, Education. In terms of worldly stuff. yeps
006. Do you believe the world will be too polluted to live in 100 years' time?
Will it even make it 100 years?
007. Do you like the number 7 with two zeroes in front?
I like number 7 with two zeros behind and comes in 14 pieces of blue notes.
And in my pocket.
008. Do you like digital or analog clocks?
I read time from the sun. It's the most accurate way. Least systematic error.
009. What type of games do you like?
Anything that doesn't hynotizes me or put me into deep sleep after some time.
010. Are you picky on people's typing/spelling/grammar?
Nope. Im guilty of that too.
011. What do you think about jogging...
Well, it's fun. Because you get to think about alot stuff. stamina is important
012. How long can you hold your pee?
Im not sure. I don't really train my bladder
(ps:what kind of qn is this)
013. How long can you hold your fart?
I have a sorta catalytic converter within me.
014. How long can you hold a sneeze?
The amount of time needed to grab a tissue.
015. How long can you hold your dung..?
I make them sublime and use my catalytic converter to conver them to harmless gas.
016. If there is one thing you could do right now, what would you do? (classic generic question)
Time travel.
017. Do you liek thick trees?
Nope.
018. So I herd u liek Mudkipz?
Eh you have hearing problems.
019. If you had a son what will you name him?
"not a moon"
on a serious note, maybe 2,4 dinitrophenylhydrazine?
020. If you could rename your father what would you name him?
Uhh i don;'t know. seriously
021. If you could rename your sister what would you name her?
Methene
022. If you saw a dinosaur what would you do.
Get rdy my pokeballs
023. Which part of your body is the most agile?
None.
024. What is your favourite time of the day?
Very random
025. If I gave you $500.00 to make you like thick trees for the rest of your life, would you accept it?
Depends on what currency!
A...survey?
I will create a new survey! Wahahaaha.
TehSurVeY Part 1
001. What do you think about thick trees?
they produce the PJC foolscap papers which are soo thick.
002. Have you ever tried sleeping face down?
Taking upwards to be negative, im always sleeping face down.
003. What's the colour of your chair?
yellow and black. dangerous
004. What's your favourite subject?
I guess...nothing.
005. If you could come up with your own values, what would you prioritize?
Don't people always come out with their own values?
I mean, maybe Love, Family, Education. In terms of worldly stuff. yeps
006. Do you believe the world will be too polluted to live in 100 years' time?
Will it even make it 100 years?
007. Do you like the number 7 with two zeroes in front?
I like number 7 with two zeros behind and comes in 14 pieces of blue notes.
And in my pocket.
008. Do you like digital or analog clocks?
I read time from the sun. It's the most accurate way. Least systematic error.
009. What type of games do you like?
Anything that doesn't hynotizes me or put me into deep sleep after some time.
010. Are you picky on people's typing/spelling/grammar?
Nope. Im guilty of that too.
011. What do you think about jogging...
Well, it's fun. Because you get to think about alot stuff. stamina is important
012. How long can you hold your pee?
Im not sure. I don't really train my bladder
(ps:what kind of qn is this)
013. How long can you hold your fart?
I have a sorta catalytic converter within me.
014. How long can you hold a sneeze?
The amount of time needed to grab a tissue.
015. How long can you hold your dung..?
I make them sublime and use my catalytic converter to conver them to harmless gas.
016. If there is one thing you could do right now, what would you do? (classic generic question)
Time travel.
017. Do you liek thick trees?
Nope.
018. So I herd u liek Mudkipz?
Eh you have hearing problems.
019. If you had a son what will you name him?
"not a moon"
on a serious note, maybe 2,4 dinitrophenylhydrazine?
020. If you could rename your father what would you name him?
Uhh i don;'t know. seriously
021. If you could rename your sister what would you name her?
Methene
022. If you saw a dinosaur what would you do.
Get rdy my pokeballs
023. Which part of your body is the most agile?
None.
024. What is your favourite time of the day?
Very random
025. If I gave you $500.00 to make you like thick trees for the rest of your life, would you accept it?
Depends on what currency!
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Quizzzz
What a crappy quiz. Poor organisation and stuff, really got to reorganise everything.
1. What is more difficult: looking intosomeones eyes when telling how youfeel,or looking into someones eyes when theytell you how they feel?
actually it all depends right? I think it is more difficult to be the listener because there's the factor of suspense. it all boils down to what's the content.
2. Think of the last time you wereangry. Why were you angry?
mission trip not accepting anymore people
3. You will die in three minutes. Lastcall?
I really don't know. it's really a hard choice for me. REALLY really tough choice. I'll be brainy and say lets do a conference. But that defeats the purpose of the question. But I want my last words to be heard by _____ though. But i don't want to hurt my parents...
4.If you could do anything OR wishanything, what would it be?
Time control.
5. You can have one of the followingtwothings: trust or love?
Trust, because I already have the latter.
6. You are walking to work. There is adog drowning in the canal on the sideofthe street. Your boss told you if youare late one more time youre fired. Doyou save the dog-
Nope. Not worth it.
7. Would you or have you everblackmailed someone?
I would actually, just for the fun of it.
8. Think of the last person who youknowthat died. You have the chance to givethem 1 hour of life back, but you haveto give one year of your life. Do youdo it?
I don't really think I know anyone who died, out of TV or anime.
9. Are you the kind of friend that youwould want to have as a friend?
Duh. Eh not really. Im a difficult person.
10. Does sex=love?
Partially, but nothing accurately defines love. And sex is probably the ultimate physical aspect of love. probably. there are other aspects though.
11. Are you old fashioned
Im not really sure. I don't think so. I just have my own unique set of values and ideas that may be a cross of both worlds, new and old.
12. Would you marry someone if theywereunable to have sex?
It really doesn't matter actually as long as I love that person. And your right hand is not there for nothing...
13. What would be harder for you, totell someone you love them or that youdo not love them back?
Both easy, when you mean it. But when you don't mean it, then its difficult.
14. What do you think would be thehardest thing for you to give up?
Love
15. Romantic love, when was the lasttime you told someone you loved them?
Few days ago, I forgot.
16. If you had to go back in time andchange one thing, if you HAD to, evenif you have "no regrets" what would youchange?
Nothing actually...
17. Imagine. It is a dark night, youarealone, it is raining outside, you hearsomeone walking around outside yourwindow. WHO do you wish was there withyou?
_____
18. Would you give a homeless personCPRif they were dying?
Seriously. I don't think so.
19. You are holding onto yourgrandmother's dying hand and the handofa newborn that you do not know as theyhang over the edge of a cliff. You haveto let one go to save the other whichone would it be?
-save the newborn.
20. When and how was the last time youtold someone how you REALLY feel?
everyday
21.If You had three months to live:Do you tell anyone or everyone youare going to die?
Yes I would tell. Selective people.
22. What do you do with your remainingdays.
Enjoy as much as possible. And spend as much time as possible with ____
23. Would you be afraid?
Im not afraid of what will happen to me, infact, Im more concerned about other people.
_Done
Well found this on friendster bulletins.
1. What is more difficult: looking intosomeones eyes when telling how youfeel,or looking into someones eyes when theytell you how they feel?
actually it all depends right? I think it is more difficult to be the listener because there's the factor of suspense. it all boils down to what's the content.
2. Think of the last time you wereangry. Why were you angry?
mission trip not accepting anymore people
3. You will die in three minutes. Lastcall?
I really don't know. it's really a hard choice for me. REALLY really tough choice. I'll be brainy and say lets do a conference. But that defeats the purpose of the question. But I want my last words to be heard by _____ though. But i don't want to hurt my parents...
4.If you could do anything OR wishanything, what would it be?
Time control.
5. You can have one of the followingtwothings: trust or love?
Trust, because I already have the latter.
6. You are walking to work. There is adog drowning in the canal on the sideofthe street. Your boss told you if youare late one more time youre fired. Doyou save the dog-
Nope. Not worth it.
7. Would you or have you everblackmailed someone?
I would actually, just for the fun of it.
8. Think of the last person who youknowthat died. You have the chance to givethem 1 hour of life back, but you haveto give one year of your life. Do youdo it?
I don't really think I know anyone who died, out of TV or anime.
9. Are you the kind of friend that youwould want to have as a friend?
Duh. Eh not really. Im a difficult person.
10. Does sex=love?
Partially, but nothing accurately defines love. And sex is probably the ultimate physical aspect of love. probably. there are other aspects though.
11. Are you old fashioned
Im not really sure. I don't think so. I just have my own unique set of values and ideas that may be a cross of both worlds, new and old.
12. Would you marry someone if theywereunable to have sex?
It really doesn't matter actually as long as I love that person. And your right hand is not there for nothing...
13. What would be harder for you, totell someone you love them or that youdo not love them back?
Both easy, when you mean it. But when you don't mean it, then its difficult.
14. What do you think would be thehardest thing for you to give up?
Love
15. Romantic love, when was the lasttime you told someone you loved them?
Few days ago, I forgot.
16. If you had to go back in time andchange one thing, if you HAD to, evenif you have "no regrets" what would youchange?
Nothing actually...
17. Imagine. It is a dark night, youarealone, it is raining outside, you hearsomeone walking around outside yourwindow. WHO do you wish was there withyou?
_____
18. Would you give a homeless personCPRif they were dying?
Seriously. I don't think so.
19. You are holding onto yourgrandmother's dying hand and the handofa newborn that you do not know as theyhang over the edge of a cliff. You haveto let one go to save the other whichone would it be?
-save the newborn.
20. When and how was the last time youtold someone how you REALLY feel?
everyday
21.If You had three months to live:Do you tell anyone or everyone youare going to die?
Yes I would tell. Selective people.
22. What do you do with your remainingdays.
Enjoy as much as possible. And spend as much time as possible with ____
23. Would you be afraid?
Im not afraid of what will happen to me, infact, Im more concerned about other people.
_Done
Well found this on friendster bulletins.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Maybe
Maybe this will be an emo post. But i can't gurantee anything
Emoing myself at the swing today.
I just wonder why no one was there for me when I was feeling down and angry.
I couldn't believe I got angry at a mentally disabled today. I was so irritated. Imagine this, someone keeps going up to you and asking the same question he had asked last week. Asked in a very sluggish manner, appearing sincere and caring yet the question doesn't make any sense. It's such a question that you wouldn't ask so many times. he asked me that for almost 20 plus times and all the time I actually tolerated, till today. It was personal questions. Like about family, brothers, are they christians kinda stuff...
I sorta raised my voice and told him to shut up and stop asking me stupid questions.
He said I called him stupid. What the? I just told him not to ask me the same questions again and AGAIN. he said " oh izzit ". then he went on blabbing about stuff to respect elders. Mind you, his a 18 yr old kid (mentally retard though). respect elders? i don't really care about that 1 yr difference. but please, this guy is a mental retard here. I tried to tell myself that.
I feel so retarded. I feel so stupid, I feel so unkind, cruel, no symphathy freak or whatever you call that. I just couldn't believe I got angry with a mentally disabled guy.
But thankfully it was in the toilet. But that was the worst place to see him. Trust me, every corner of church I go, I hope I don't bump into him. He chases after me ASKING the same questions everytime. Blame me for having low EQ, i don't know how to shake people off. The only way I have to shake people off is to do it the hard way and hurting people in the process.
I have no EQ.
I was sad about other stuff and angry over other things.
Emo day for me. Emo Kid. BUt no, i Don't cut myself.
Afterall, people may seem nice. People may give u the biggest smile on a normal friday or sunday. But when it comes to sport. People revert to their primitive aggresive and kiasu behaviour. Where did that graciousness go to? The desire to win only breeds competitiveness and also selfishness. Where did the team spirit go to? Even biasness could be seen, so distinctively. Disappointed. Disappointment.
Now I really need someone to talk to. Stress is sinking in due to various issues. The end of year holidays and mission trip thing aren't really exciting me anymore. I wonder why but, I was actually throwing thantrums just now. I admit it, I just hate it when things don't turn out the way I want it to be. is that human nature? I need to learn how to accept realithy.
Now I really need someone to talk you, but you aren't picking up the phone.
Even if you can't go, I'll take it as a chance to not be distracted and do God's work. Afterall, it's a mission trip. not a holiday. it's just 7 days.
Ive always complained that life is tooo tough. Life is hard. Life is difficult. I know what I am saying is being very oblivious to my own situation. Whether life is hard or tough, it's only up to our own perception. If we expect too much, then life will be tough because living expectations is never easy (or untough). Maybe I should just lower expectations. Just take things as it comes, and maybe i'll be happier. People's really gonna kill me if I say I have a terrible life.
But still, people who wants things to always be according to their way is surely the most upset people. the most angry people. the people with the shortest fuse amongst all. and that is me. it's probably time to bite the bullet, go cold turkey and accept that the remote control of events ain't in our own hands....things happen for a reason. there is no chance or luck.
Perhaps Im not emo anymore. I don't know.The up and downs of mood. The mood swings, are just like ocsillations. The resonance caused by stress, pressure and all sorts of bad things causes these ocsillations to evolve into greater amplitudes. Mood swings, back and forth back and forth.
Really hurts. Will viscious forces ever stop these mood swings. Or will they continue to go up and down, back and forth, eternally.
Now the more I type, I seriously don't know what I am unhappy about.Perhaps im not even unhappy about anything. Only one thing, infact which was a big shock and disappointment to me. And is still (like nails) scratching the corners of my heart. Softly but gradually fading. Acceptance of reality is the right path to take, but no one said the right path would be easy. I guess.
Ive been blabbing for too long. Perhaps. It's time to go to bed. I regret staying downstairs for too long, knowning that you would call me. Yet I carried on talking to my parents. But now when I arrive upstairs. it's probably too late, you're probably asleep. I guess.
Falling asleep without you can be really difficult. I confess.
Emoing myself at the swing today.
I just wonder why no one was there for me when I was feeling down and angry.
I couldn't believe I got angry at a mentally disabled today. I was so irritated. Imagine this, someone keeps going up to you and asking the same question he had asked last week. Asked in a very sluggish manner, appearing sincere and caring yet the question doesn't make any sense. It's such a question that you wouldn't ask so many times. he asked me that for almost 20 plus times and all the time I actually tolerated, till today. It was personal questions. Like about family, brothers, are they christians kinda stuff...
I sorta raised my voice and told him to shut up and stop asking me stupid questions.
He said I called him stupid. What the? I just told him not to ask me the same questions again and AGAIN. he said " oh izzit ". then he went on blabbing about stuff to respect elders. Mind you, his a 18 yr old kid (mentally retard though). respect elders? i don't really care about that 1 yr difference. but please, this guy is a mental retard here. I tried to tell myself that.
I feel so retarded. I feel so stupid, I feel so unkind, cruel, no symphathy freak or whatever you call that. I just couldn't believe I got angry with a mentally disabled guy.
But thankfully it was in the toilet. But that was the worst place to see him. Trust me, every corner of church I go, I hope I don't bump into him. He chases after me ASKING the same questions everytime. Blame me for having low EQ, i don't know how to shake people off. The only way I have to shake people off is to do it the hard way and hurting people in the process.
I have no EQ.
I was sad about other stuff and angry over other things.
Emo day for me. Emo Kid. BUt no, i Don't cut myself.
Afterall, people may seem nice. People may give u the biggest smile on a normal friday or sunday. But when it comes to sport. People revert to their primitive aggresive and kiasu behaviour. Where did that graciousness go to? The desire to win only breeds competitiveness and also selfishness. Where did the team spirit go to? Even biasness could be seen, so distinctively. Disappointed. Disappointment.
Now I really need someone to talk to. Stress is sinking in due to various issues. The end of year holidays and mission trip thing aren't really exciting me anymore. I wonder why but, I was actually throwing thantrums just now. I admit it, I just hate it when things don't turn out the way I want it to be. is that human nature? I need to learn how to accept realithy.
Now I really need someone to talk you, but you aren't picking up the phone.
Even if you can't go, I'll take it as a chance to not be distracted and do God's work. Afterall, it's a mission trip. not a holiday. it's just 7 days.
Ive always complained that life is tooo tough. Life is hard. Life is difficult. I know what I am saying is being very oblivious to my own situation. Whether life is hard or tough, it's only up to our own perception. If we expect too much, then life will be tough because living expectations is never easy (or untough). Maybe I should just lower expectations. Just take things as it comes, and maybe i'll be happier. People's really gonna kill me if I say I have a terrible life.
But still, people who wants things to always be according to their way is surely the most upset people. the most angry people. the people with the shortest fuse amongst all. and that is me. it's probably time to bite the bullet, go cold turkey and accept that the remote control of events ain't in our own hands....things happen for a reason. there is no chance or luck.
Perhaps Im not emo anymore. I don't know.The up and downs of mood. The mood swings, are just like ocsillations. The resonance caused by stress, pressure and all sorts of bad things causes these ocsillations to evolve into greater amplitudes. Mood swings, back and forth back and forth.
Really hurts. Will viscious forces ever stop these mood swings. Or will they continue to go up and down, back and forth, eternally.
Now the more I type, I seriously don't know what I am unhappy about.Perhaps im not even unhappy about anything. Only one thing, infact which was a big shock and disappointment to me. And is still (like nails) scratching the corners of my heart. Softly but gradually fading. Acceptance of reality is the right path to take, but no one said the right path would be easy. I guess.
Ive been blabbing for too long. Perhaps. It's time to go to bed. I regret staying downstairs for too long, knowning that you would call me. Yet I carried on talking to my parents. But now when I arrive upstairs. it's probably too late, you're probably asleep. I guess.
Falling asleep without you can be really difficult. I confess.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Nothing much...
Well.....
I was surfing some forums today. Stumbled across something very amusing.
threadstarter : does anyone know what is the name of the chopin song in "the secret"?
one random reply : I got the soundtrack. Which one, sung by girl or guy?
ROFL, don't get it nevermind.
I was surfing some forums today. Stumbled across something very amusing.
threadstarter : does anyone know what is the name of the chopin song in "the secret"?
one random reply : I got the soundtrack. Which one, sung by girl or guy?
ROFL, don't get it nevermind.
Random
No, no more emoness from me. At least not yet.
Im actually looking forward to the one wweek holidays after promos. Seriously. but why am I daydreaming here, Im supposed to be studying.
End of year holidays are gonna really be busy. Crammed with activities, going to spain for 14 days, followed by YF camp for like 5 days and then thailand mission trip for 7-8 days. That's a whole month load of stuff. Heck school, they're bound to summon countless remedial sessions or (maybe not actually?)....but Im going away away away. Far far away.
Chinese Alevels after promos. Im starting to think of actually putting in effort for this. I don't know why but this is the last chinese exam in my entire life. I mean, I should at least try for a B right. Oh I was like several marks away from B for mock exam. And it was because of my super tyco compo which I fell asleep writing halfway. 41/60 is something impossible for me, just like Methene. I don't know why I got that, it's high for me. at least. for someone who speaks no chinese, hears on chinese and sees no chinese.
Anyway thursday friday, weekends, mon-thur and next fri is GP paper. Well the official exams starts on the 2nd tuesday from now. I should really be studying, yeps should.
At least I feel the luck within me nowadays. And also the adrenaline rush. I should be fine. Because these are conditions for me to perform.
And i gotta say how much I hate math. Seriously I am the world's most careless bum in the world. If im not gonna get screwed for not knowing how to do questions, I'll probably get owned because of my signature initial step mistakes which cost me the marks for the entire questions. I don't know of any cure or vitamin that makes people more careful!!!
Bankai time, with hollow transformation. 11 seconds, nah. for 11 days.
I don't really have time to bother about ODex (not like I can do anything about it). AND also when I can get my weekly dosage of bleach on youtube! yay!
Im actually looking forward to the one wweek holidays after promos. Seriously. but why am I daydreaming here, Im supposed to be studying.
End of year holidays are gonna really be busy. Crammed with activities, going to spain for 14 days, followed by YF camp for like 5 days and then thailand mission trip for 7-8 days. That's a whole month load of stuff. Heck school, they're bound to summon countless remedial sessions or (maybe not actually?)....but Im going away away away. Far far away.
Chinese Alevels after promos. Im starting to think of actually putting in effort for this. I don't know why but this is the last chinese exam in my entire life. I mean, I should at least try for a B right. Oh I was like several marks away from B for mock exam. And it was because of my super tyco compo which I fell asleep writing halfway. 41/60 is something impossible for me, just like Methene. I don't know why I got that, it's high for me. at least. for someone who speaks no chinese, hears on chinese and sees no chinese.
Anyway thursday friday, weekends, mon-thur and next fri is GP paper. Well the official exams starts on the 2nd tuesday from now. I should really be studying, yeps should.
At least I feel the luck within me nowadays. And also the adrenaline rush. I should be fine. Because these are conditions for me to perform.
And i gotta say how much I hate math. Seriously I am the world's most careless bum in the world. If im not gonna get screwed for not knowing how to do questions, I'll probably get owned because of my signature initial step mistakes which cost me the marks for the entire questions. I don't know of any cure or vitamin that makes people more careful!!!
Bankai time, with hollow transformation. 11 seconds, nah. for 11 days.
I don't really have time to bother about ODex (not like I can do anything about it). AND also when I can get my weekly dosage of bleach on youtube! yay!
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Emo
Glass
As transparent as glass,
our palms tightly grabbing hold
Light waves penetrate fast,
in heart shaped formation it flows
A nature of shapeshifting weight,
an array of different burdens,
Causes one to feel most alive and dead.
A variation of peace and disturbance.
In this world many carry this orb,
never did I expect us to carry one this day
equipped a thousand fierce battles fought
but not all carried it all the way.
Brittle in nature,collisions induces shattering,
Fragments soar, slice. blood gushes fast
An endothermic explosion occuring
Echo-ing so loud and like a dagger's thrust
The contents of this mystic artefact,
crafted so precisely by our soul.
For the destruction of an artwork so abstract,
Relentlessly and especially on it's painters, take it's toll.
This orb was never meant to be held in solittude,
Two pair of hands intersect and support it's base
Just like two hands puppet the tune on a flute
without union,disintegratation of melody takes place.
Lets pray our orb will never shatter,
supporting it's foundation forever.
intact and at heart level
and the contemplation of gentle release never occur.
Untitled again
Was feeling very very tired and sleepy today. And when I mean sleepy it's really sleepy and tired that I wanna fall asleep during the sermon. And bryan lim's shoulder was like so tempting lah (i know this sounds wrong...) but more of, i need a cushion u know. then can't really fall asleep also. I kept drinking coffee to keep myself awake....and im still drinking coffee now, so I probably can't fall asleep.
Anyway official weekday holidays has come to an end! (aww :( ) only a weekend left to go before school reopens again. I wouldn't say this week had been productive, just not too bad, just not too good. I need to stop wasting time and start studying some crap.
Uhh.
Lalalalalalala. I don't know how to describe my mood, not high, not low, not happy but not sad. Tonight felt so ordinary, so normal. I don't know why it had this "normal friday" to it. nothing ordinary, yet nothing extraordinary on the positive or negative scale. When thing seem too ordinary, it feels scary, intmidating. When things seem too peaceful, ironically there is fear that the tranquility may be broken anytime soon...
Just another friday. How many more fridays will just come and go just like that, without any meaninging.Friday. The beginning of the weekend, to me, is a symbol of peace. Friday night marks the beginning of the weekend, which to me, plays a significant role in my life.
There's this uniqueness of friday that strikes me every friday night. It's refreshing and brings about a queer sense of peace. Yet it reminds me that time flies.
Inversely, Monday morning seems the worst time of all. In contrast to friday night, the frightful moment of opening of eyes and realization of the fact that monday is here is the worst horrible reptitive moment of the week. I see my younger brother of five year old sleeping peacefully. I feel agonized. As I walk into the bathroom I wonder why did I not learn to appreciate times of bliss 12 years ago. On monday morning, the shower seems to represent my tears. Not really tears, it's not that sad a thing, but it's bad and really dreadful to go through the same thing every week.
But without such painful moments there won't be times of happiness and peace for the relive of pain is bliss. Perhaps the happiness experienced on friday night is just a trade-off for the agony on monday morning. And vice versa. it's weird, and ironic. To be happy, you must be sad and vice versa. That is why our lifes are more or less Sin/Cos curves with variations here and there. Without ups and downs, (of the week in this case), a straight line will bring about nothing but boredom and void of emotions. Changes bring about emotions and these emotions, let it be good or bad, plays a significant roles in our lifes.
Im really crapping. I don't know what to blog about, seriously.
A high amplitutde of the curves of our lives will be the most painful. but is a straight line worst?
I don't know.
Anyway official weekday holidays has come to an end! (aww :( ) only a weekend left to go before school reopens again. I wouldn't say this week had been productive, just not too bad, just not too good. I need to stop wasting time and start studying some crap.
Uhh.
Lalalalalalala. I don't know how to describe my mood, not high, not low, not happy but not sad. Tonight felt so ordinary, so normal. I don't know why it had this "normal friday" to it. nothing ordinary, yet nothing extraordinary on the positive or negative scale. When thing seem too ordinary, it feels scary, intmidating. When things seem too peaceful, ironically there is fear that the tranquility may be broken anytime soon...
Just another friday. How many more fridays will just come and go just like that, without any meaninging.Friday. The beginning of the weekend, to me, is a symbol of peace. Friday night marks the beginning of the weekend, which to me, plays a significant role in my life.
There's this uniqueness of friday that strikes me every friday night. It's refreshing and brings about a queer sense of peace. Yet it reminds me that time flies.
Inversely, Monday morning seems the worst time of all. In contrast to friday night, the frightful moment of opening of eyes and realization of the fact that monday is here is the worst horrible reptitive moment of the week. I see my younger brother of five year old sleeping peacefully. I feel agonized. As I walk into the bathroom I wonder why did I not learn to appreciate times of bliss 12 years ago. On monday morning, the shower seems to represent my tears. Not really tears, it's not that sad a thing, but it's bad and really dreadful to go through the same thing every week.
But without such painful moments there won't be times of happiness and peace for the relive of pain is bliss. Perhaps the happiness experienced on friday night is just a trade-off for the agony on monday morning. And vice versa. it's weird, and ironic. To be happy, you must be sad and vice versa. That is why our lifes are more or less Sin/Cos curves with variations here and there. Without ups and downs, (of the week in this case), a straight line will bring about nothing but boredom and void of emotions. Changes bring about emotions and these emotions, let it be good or bad, plays a significant roles in our lifes.
Im really crapping. I don't know what to blog about, seriously.
A high amplitutde of the curves of our lives will be the most painful. but is a straight line worst?
I don't know.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Surveys for the bored
1. Were you smiling when you woke up
this morning?
= like i don't know?
my pillow ain't made up of mirrors okay.
and my saliva ain't tollen's reagent.
2. When was the last time you met
someone new?
= im not very sure.
3. When did you last eat pizza?
= long ago!
4. Do you drink beer?
= alchohol is bad...for brains...
5. Do you wash your own clothes?
= nope.
6. Are you any good at poker?
= Poking people?
7. What do you want more than anything?
= health, happiness n love
Nope.
8. Are you tired?
= I slept dunno how many years yesterday
9. Besides your bed, what is your
favorite thing in your room?
= i don't know?
10. Pepsi or Coke?
= None.
11. Would you ever take someone back
if they cheated on you?
= I'm not sure?
12. Do you enjoy piercings and tattoos?
= piercing at the EAR only, other parts?
Yucks.
13. Taco Bell or McDonald's?
= Nah.
14. Are you restless?
=\Rest so much ytd how to become restless.
15. Is your computer desktop or a
laptop?
= desktop. But a labtop on the top of your desk is also a desktop?
16. How many friendster views do you
have?
= 2 miserable 2.
17. Want to be a prince/princess?
= already is.
18. Do you believe dreams come true?
= came true already
19. Last song you heard?
= Four hand walz
20. Do you like Batman?
= errr.?
21. Who is in the room with you?
= My brother
22. what r u wearin on ur foot?
= Nothing?
23. What was the last thing you ate?
= Hotcakes!
24. What were you doing before this?
= Practicing piano.
25. What is the closest item near you
that is blue?
= My blanket.
26. In your opinion what is the
weirdest thing listed on
goofysicons.com?
= the name of the site itself
27. What instant messaging service do
you use?
= windows live messenger.
28. what is ur fav website?
= no favs
29. Whose house were you at???
= mine. eh no, my dad's house.
30. What do you wear more, jeans or
sweatpants?
= jeans.
31. What is the last movie you watched?
= the rat one (i stll don't know how to spell it)
32. What do you currently hear right
now?
= Four hand waltz
33. When did you last buy a new pair
of pants?
= Wow like never bought one before.
34. Where's your favorite place to be?
= Anywhere with _____
35. Where do you sleep?
= In school (30%) At home (70%)
36. Where do you shop the most?
= Pokemart.
37. Where did you get the shirt you're
wearing?
= From that DUSTBIN!
38. Coach Purse or NFL game tickets?
= What?
39. Where was your default pic taken?
= I dont have a default pic.
40. Why did you pick your background?
= Cause it's already THERE
41. Are you happy with where you are?
= Im fine.
42. Do you believe love at first sight?
= Not really anymore.
43. Do you believe in celebrating
anniversaries?
= Yeps.
44. Do you believe that you can change
someone?
= Yeps. maybe? i don't know?
45. What are you going to do after you
do this survey?
= Eh I don't know.
PART 2``
1. Would you marry for money?
. No. If not i would marry money itself.
2.Have you had braces?
. I have braces, not had.
3.Could you live without a computer?
. Eh no i don't think so. but that depends.
4.If you could live in any past time,
Nah Im happy with the timezone i am in right now
and I can't play Secret fast enough (with hasty keys) to
go back in time. Damn.
5.Do you drink enough water?
. Yeps. I keep myself hydrated.
6.Do you wear shoes in the house or
take 'em off?
. LOL. dumb question.
7.What are your favorite fruits?
. Honeydew, Watermelon, Grapes, Peach
(juicy ones..)
8.What is your favorite place to visit?
. Europe
9.Are you photogenic?
. Very bad.
10.Do you dream in color or black and
white?
. LOL. in colour.
11.Why do you take survey??
. Cause I feel like doing something on my com.
12.Do you drink alcohol?
. No,even reading them can kill. Why drink them
13.What is the most beautiful language?
.I think jap is nice.
14.Do you like being kissed when you
are asleep?
. No comments.
15.WHAT do you like MOST: Sunrise or
sunset?
. I prefer Sunset.
16.Do you want to live until you're 100
yrs old?
. That depends.
19.When you watch movies at home, do
you like the lights switched on or off?
. It doesn't matter.
20.Do you believe in magic?
. Not really
22.Do you like to watch cartoons?
. Anime. yes anime.
23.At what age did you find out that
Santa Claus wasn't real?
. The moment I heard about it.
24.Do you write poems?
. Sometimes. Emo me takes over.
25.Do you snore?
. Nope. Fortunately.
26.You sleep more on your back,
front,or sides?
. A nice variation of each. But mostly on sides.
27.Would you rather have a poodle or a
rottweiler?
. Whatt?
28.Are you basically a happy person?
. I don't think so eh.
29.Are you tired?
. Nope. I slept dunno how many hours ytd
30.Did you drink anything with
caffeine?
. Nope.
32.How many land line/cellphones do you
have in your house?
. Im lazy to count.
33.Do you get along with your parents?
. kinda.
34.Do u smoke?
. NO RETARD
35.Do you have a kitty?
. Nope. Saying hello to one wil disintegrate their mouth.
36.Have you ever had a birthday party?
. I always had until recently
37.What do you do when you're sad?
. Emo myself to sleep
38. What do you need most now?
. Memory Space.
39.What song are you listening to now?
. Four Hand Waltz
this morning?
= like i don't know?
my pillow ain't made up of mirrors okay.
and my saliva ain't tollen's reagent.
2. When was the last time you met
someone new?
= im not very sure.
3. When did you last eat pizza?
= long ago!
4. Do you drink beer?
= alchohol is bad...for brains...
5. Do you wash your own clothes?
= nope.
6. Are you any good at poker?
= Poking people?
7. What do you want more than anything?
= health, happiness n love
Nope.
8. Are you tired?
= I slept dunno how many years yesterday
9. Besides your bed, what is your
favorite thing in your room?
= i don't know?
10. Pepsi or Coke?
= None.
11. Would you ever take someone back
if they cheated on you?
= I'm not sure?
12. Do you enjoy piercings and tattoos?
= piercing at the EAR only, other parts?
Yucks.
13. Taco Bell or McDonald's?
= Nah.
14. Are you restless?
=\Rest so much ytd how to become restless.
15. Is your computer desktop or a
laptop?
= desktop. But a labtop on the top of your desk is also a desktop?
16. How many friendster views do you
have?
= 2 miserable 2.
17. Want to be a prince/princess?
= already is.
18. Do you believe dreams come true?
= came true already
19. Last song you heard?
= Four hand walz
20. Do you like Batman?
= errr.?
21. Who is in the room with you?
= My brother
22. what r u wearin on ur foot?
= Nothing?
23. What was the last thing you ate?
= Hotcakes!
24. What were you doing before this?
= Practicing piano.
25. What is the closest item near you
that is blue?
= My blanket.
26. In your opinion what is the
weirdest thing listed on
goofysicons.com?
= the name of the site itself
27. What instant messaging service do
you use?
= windows live messenger.
28. what is ur fav website?
= no favs
29. Whose house were you at???
= mine. eh no, my dad's house.
30. What do you wear more, jeans or
sweatpants?
= jeans.
31. What is the last movie you watched?
= the rat one (i stll don't know how to spell it)
32. What do you currently hear right
now?
= Four hand waltz
33. When did you last buy a new pair
of pants?
= Wow like never bought one before.
34. Where's your favorite place to be?
= Anywhere with _____
35. Where do you sleep?
= In school (30%) At home (70%)
36. Where do you shop the most?
= Pokemart.
37. Where did you get the shirt you're
wearing?
= From that DUSTBIN!
38. Coach Purse or NFL game tickets?
= What?
39. Where was your default pic taken?
= I dont have a default pic.
40. Why did you pick your background?
= Cause it's already THERE
41. Are you happy with where you are?
= Im fine.
42. Do you believe love at first sight?
= Not really anymore.
43. Do you believe in celebrating
anniversaries?
= Yeps.
44. Do you believe that you can change
someone?
= Yeps. maybe? i don't know?
45. What are you going to do after you
do this survey?
= Eh I don't know.
PART 2``
1. Would you marry for money?
. No. If not i would marry money itself.
2.Have you had braces?
. I have braces, not had.
3.Could you live without a computer?
. Eh no i don't think so. but that depends.
4.If you could live in any past time,
Nah Im happy with the timezone i am in right now
and I can't play Secret fast enough (with hasty keys) to
go back in time. Damn.
5.Do you drink enough water?
. Yeps. I keep myself hydrated.
6.Do you wear shoes in the house or
take 'em off?
. LOL. dumb question.
7.What are your favorite fruits?
. Honeydew, Watermelon, Grapes, Peach
(juicy ones..)
8.What is your favorite place to visit?
. Europe
9.Are you photogenic?
. Very bad.
10.Do you dream in color or black and
white?
. LOL. in colour.
11.Why do you take survey??
. Cause I feel like doing something on my com.
12.Do you drink alcohol?
. No,even reading them can kill. Why drink them
13.What is the most beautiful language?
.I think jap is nice.
14.Do you like being kissed when you
are asleep?
. No comments.
15.WHAT do you like MOST: Sunrise or
sunset?
. I prefer Sunset.
16.Do you want to live until you're 100
yrs old?
. That depends.
19.When you watch movies at home, do
you like the lights switched on or off?
. It doesn't matter.
20.Do you believe in magic?
. Not really
22.Do you like to watch cartoons?
. Anime. yes anime.
23.At what age did you find out that
Santa Claus wasn't real?
. The moment I heard about it.
24.Do you write poems?
. Sometimes. Emo me takes over.
25.Do you snore?
. Nope. Fortunately.
26.You sleep more on your back,
front,or sides?
. A nice variation of each. But mostly on sides.
27.Would you rather have a poodle or a
rottweiler?
. Whatt?
28.Are you basically a happy person?
. I don't think so eh.
29.Are you tired?
. Nope. I slept dunno how many hours ytd
30.Did you drink anything with
caffeine?
. Nope.
32.How many land line/cellphones do you
have in your house?
. Im lazy to count.
33.Do you get along with your parents?
. kinda.
34.Do u smoke?
. NO RETARD
35.Do you have a kitty?
. Nope. Saying hello to one wil disintegrate their mouth.
36.Have you ever had a birthday party?
. I always had until recently
37.What do you do when you're sad?
. Emo myself to sleep
38. What do you need most now?
. Memory Space.
39.What song are you listening to now?
. Four Hand Waltz
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Lalallaa
Sick. Im sick.
I knew it. Running in the rain is gonna get me sick.
My nose was running like a mad during PW consultation today and it was draggy and long, can't take it. Geog remedial was fine, but i was really feeling sickish. Staggered home, and then went to the NS place (dunno what it's called) to apply for deferment.
Crap. Even go in need to put handphone inside locker. So tight security wor..
but whatever. Sickish mood.
I dunno why but I have an urge to go study now. I don't know why.
Ive been rather lucky for recent tests (esp geog). and i hope my luck streak will continue.
Blehblehblehblehbleh Im bored.
Yesterday went to school again. Had a sorta debate with farid over crappy velocity time graph and then i finally found out im wrong, how embarassing. >_<
Geog, was okay.
Stupid. Now holidays is halfway gone and Ive not done much workkk...
I knew it. Running in the rain is gonna get me sick.
My nose was running like a mad during PW consultation today and it was draggy and long, can't take it. Geog remedial was fine, but i was really feeling sickish. Staggered home, and then went to the NS place (dunno what it's called) to apply for deferment.
Crap. Even go in need to put handphone inside locker. So tight security wor..
but whatever. Sickish mood.
I dunno why but I have an urge to go study now. I don't know why.
Ive been rather lucky for recent tests (esp geog). and i hope my luck streak will continue.
Blehblehblehblehbleh Im bored.
Yesterday went to school again. Had a sorta debate with farid over crappy velocity time graph and then i finally found out im wrong, how embarassing. >_<
Geog, was okay.
Stupid. Now holidays is halfway gone and Ive not done much workkk...
Monday, September 3, 2007
Groggy running
Emoness. Running emo-style is beneficial, but with sideeffects. Pick any rainy day, wear a jacket with a hood and go jogging/running. Keep that hood down only look at your feet. It helps because you will actually feel scared and helpless. Think of your most pathetic and miserable moments, feel emo, breathe emo, and act emo. (but don't cut yourself). the more you think, the faster you run, the more energy you feel.
The only drawback is, you will feel very sick after running. Not sick as in feverish. just groggy, and hot-cold sensation. Make sure you have STRONG immune system before you do this. I just tried it, seriously helps to destress.Mud puddles and puddles of rain water really give you the kicks when you splash them all over your thighs as you run over them.
And you will NOT feel tired or breathless while running.
That's all. Quite lame actually. Im really a mood-orientated person. If just know I want to go running, and even if it's raining I will still go out and run because I will let my mood down.
Groggyness. Just be prepared to look like an idiot running in the rain. Though it may look cool with a twisted perspective.
Oh and yes, yesterday I watched Ratallouioid398yehjid with my parents. Seriously, I can't really figure out how to spell the movie title. But overall the movie is unrealistically weird. Rats being chef, and the controlling of a human body via his hair. Really retard. A clear attempt to be philosphical but fails miserably. And even in such a kiddo animation film, there were KISS scenes between animated characters. Though it was brainlessly enjoyable, and no brain cells was spent figuring out what the plot was about. Simple and feel good movie, with a decent ending that pleases everyone. (except sadists). It makes me think twice whenver I see a rat. and makes you go hungry if you haven't had your dinner. :)
just another "watch and forget" movie. without really any meaning.
The only drawback is, you will feel very sick after running. Not sick as in feverish. just groggy, and hot-cold sensation. Make sure you have STRONG immune system before you do this. I just tried it, seriously helps to destress.Mud puddles and puddles of rain water really give you the kicks when you splash them all over your thighs as you run over them.
And you will NOT feel tired or breathless while running.
That's all. Quite lame actually. Im really a mood-orientated person. If just know I want to go running, and even if it's raining I will still go out and run because I will let my mood down.
Groggyness. Just be prepared to look like an idiot running in the rain. Though it may look cool with a twisted perspective.
Oh and yes, yesterday I watched Ratallouioid398yehjid with my parents. Seriously, I can't really figure out how to spell the movie title. But overall the movie is unrealistically weird. Rats being chef, and the controlling of a human body via his hair. Really retard. A clear attempt to be philosphical but fails miserably. And even in such a kiddo animation film, there were KISS scenes between animated characters. Though it was brainlessly enjoyable, and no brain cells was spent figuring out what the plot was about. Simple and feel good movie, with a decent ending that pleases everyone. (except sadists). It makes me think twice whenver I see a rat. and makes you go hungry if you haven't had your dinner. :)
just another "watch and forget" movie. without really any meaning.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Random?
I was asked to post about random stuff, but I ain't got nothing to say. So how?
Quiz? Nope. There aren't any in sight. There aren't anywhere I know I can find them. Personality Test? I just did one like very recently.Recent updates? Nah, nil. Nothing mentionable...:X
Actually, I have so many things to make sense of now.
Memory
*Note:I decided to scrap the rhyming crap. too troublesome and im sorta in a rush. composed this in few minutes .leaving for movie. dang.
Beneath our skull and bone,
Lies our heart and mind,
Embedded, memories of our own.
Trapped and confined
Memories are vulnerable,
They seem to unwillingly evaporate
The ticking hands,beams of laser
Stealthy operates within us.
WIthout a choice, we have to comform
For this is our destiny.
As we forget, and we move along
Living in a world of nostalgic reality
For the intersection point
Of memories and the future,
lies an unbridgable gap of pain.
As the unfortunate looks forward,
And the fortunate protects fearfully.
Fear strikes me.
Someday the blade of time,
will cut us apart.
Someday all that we are left with
are bittersweet fragmented memories.
But when the reaper of time arrives
in a hood, armed with scythe
Even with barehands, even if blood may gush
Without a doubt, I will fight bravely,
and my hands will interupt that dreaded path
that the blade has intended to walk.
For true love has no happy ending,
As it will never end at all.
Quiz? Nope. There aren't any in sight. There aren't anywhere I know I can find them. Personality Test? I just did one like very recently.Recent updates? Nah, nil. Nothing mentionable...:X
Actually, I have so many things to make sense of now.
Memory
*Note:I decided to scrap the rhyming crap. too troublesome and im sorta in a rush. composed this in few minutes .leaving for movie. dang.
Beneath our skull and bone,
Lies our heart and mind,
Embedded, memories of our own.
Trapped and confined
Memories are vulnerable,
They seem to unwillingly evaporate
The ticking hands,beams of laser
Stealthy operates within us.
WIthout a choice, we have to comform
For this is our destiny.
As we forget, and we move along
Living in a world of nostalgic reality
For the intersection point
Of memories and the future,
lies an unbridgable gap of pain.
As the unfortunate looks forward,
And the fortunate protects fearfully.
Fear strikes me.
Someday the blade of time,
will cut us apart.
Someday all that we are left with
are bittersweet fragmented memories.
But when the reaper of time arrives
in a hood, armed with scythe
Even with barehands, even if blood may gush
Without a doubt, I will fight bravely,
and my hands will interupt that dreaded path
that the blade has intended to walk.
For true love has no happy ending,
As it will never end at all.
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