Untitled again

Was feeling very very tired and sleepy today. And when I mean sleepy it's really sleepy and tired that I wanna fall asleep during the sermon. And bryan lim's shoulder was like so tempting lah (i know this sounds wrong...) but more of, i need a cushion u know. then can't really fall asleep also. I kept drinking coffee to keep myself awake....and im still drinking coffee now, so I probably can't fall asleep.

Anyway official weekday holidays has come to an end! (aww :( ) only a weekend left to go before school reopens again. I wouldn't say this week had been productive, just not too bad, just not too good. I need to stop wasting time and start studying some crap.

Uhh.

Lalalalalalala. I don't know how to describe my mood, not high, not low, not happy but not sad. Tonight felt so ordinary, so normal. I don't know why it had this "normal friday" to it. nothing ordinary, yet nothing extraordinary on the positive or negative scale. When thing seem too ordinary, it feels scary, intmidating. When things seem too peaceful, ironically there is fear that the tranquility may be broken anytime soon...

Just another friday. How many more fridays will just come and go just like that, without any meaninging.Friday. The beginning of the weekend, to me, is a symbol of peace. Friday night marks the beginning of the weekend, which to me, plays a significant role in my life.

There's this uniqueness of friday that strikes me every friday night. It's refreshing and brings about a queer sense of peace. Yet it reminds me that time flies.

Inversely, Monday morning seems the worst time of all. In contrast to friday night, the frightful moment of opening of eyes and realization of the fact that monday is here is the worst horrible reptitive moment of the week. I see my younger brother of five year old sleeping peacefully. I feel agonized. As I walk into the bathroom I wonder why did I not learn to appreciate times of bliss 12 years ago. On monday morning, the shower seems to represent my tears. Not really tears, it's not that sad a thing, but it's bad and really dreadful to go through the same thing every week.

But without such painful moments there won't be times of happiness and peace for the relive of pain is bliss. Perhaps the happiness experienced on friday night is just a trade-off for the agony on monday morning. And vice versa. it's weird, and ironic. To be happy, you must be sad and vice versa. That is why our lifes are more or less Sin/Cos curves with variations here and there. Without ups and downs, (of the week in this case), a straight line will bring about nothing but boredom and void of emotions. Changes bring about emotions and these emotions, let it be good or bad, plays a significant roles in our lifes.

Im really crapping. I don't know what to blog about, seriously.

A high amplitutde of the curves of our lives will be the most painful. but is a straight line worst?

I don't know.