I have one week at my expense. Nothing really to do actually. to tell you the truth, life isn't very different now. I find myself getting not used to the abundance of time. So much, that I could sleep my entire afternoon away plus evening plus night and not feel a tiny drop of guilt within me. And when time is overwhelming, the mind gets too free, . I'd like to keep myself busy.
I'd like to narrate the past two weeks. Though it is very personal, but since a blog is supposed to be personal....Uhhh =X
A very tough two weeks indeed. Not going into much detail but as many can see from my blog post, from monday till wednesday evening i had problems with my ex, and we finally broke up one wednesday evening. Wednesday and thursday was supposed to be days I designated LONG ago (when seeing the exam timetable) to actually study for promos. Ended up, wednesday was spent thinking and thinking through many issues while thursday was used trying to get over everything, as well as not wanting everything to end just like that. it was really really really tough. I didn't really feel much better on friday. It's just the pain was so numb that I couldn't do anything anymore. Good thing I was forced to go for GP paper, and school actually did help. During the paper, I was spacing out here and there. Emo-ing during the paper. (not in the Alan way though..).
Time just dragged on. But things got better everyday. I felt significantly better everyday, which was a consolation. Getting over matters of the heart is not as easy as I thought. I took it very hard initially, but now Ive learnt to let go.
Friday. Friday. I went home, I tried to do some work. But failed miserably. I mean, I couldn't concentrate, at all. But i still did, some stuff. I forgot what they were, but I know my productivty was miserable.Saturday and Sunday. Things cleared up and felt alot better. (because of that support). I started working doubling hard in attempt to save all that lost time from the past one week.
Sunday. I got caught in the rain. Fell sick, gastric flu. Initially I thought it was just a normal cold when you get caught in the rain. But wrong I was wrong. It dragged from Sunday all the way to wednesday, all the way into my chem paper. Fever on and off, vommited like 20 times in total. And it disrupted me ALOT. After Chinese paper, I was bedridden the entire afternoon and night and even the morning before math paper. I went into the exam hall with a fever. Not very nice right? I could puke anytime. But tictacs and ribena saved me.
I coudln't eat anything. It's like a syndrome with lots of air in your stomach. Anything you eats gets throw out because there ain't space. And the air is churning which makes it uncomfortable and annoyining. That is precisely why I get nauseas and headaches.
It was tough, just so tough. Just when the wound in my heart is healing and I am on my way to recover and do something for my exams. I had to be down with sickness, real pure physical illness. That is just SO unlucky and untimely.
What has happened probably taught me a lesson. Don't do things last minute. Fortunately I think I have studied here and there along the way for this promos. If i don't make it, i don't know if I can blame circumstances. Things were really unfair to me, everything that happened, were like it was meant to make me fail.
Looking back now, I don't feel a single pulse of heartache. I have not totally gotten over everything, but still, I am still buffetted by what as happened over the past week. It's been one week plus, when everything has ended.
Everythng, and everything has taught me to be stronger. Not everyone has the chance to go through so much different sorts of pain in one short period of time. Everything crammed together, concentrated pain. And during an exam period.....priceless.
Okay. End of emo_
But how am I going to move on from here? How am I going to make use of this one week. Im not sure too. Will I mindlessly dota or idle around? do I find something useful and do? I don't know. Interhouse game is coming up and I think i should go unrust my badminton.
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