Actually, I would usually refrain from posting such posts. But I am Emo right now, and the worst part, I have no idea why! And perhaps, one main task of this post is to explore and find out why and how I am exactly feeling emo.
It feels as if everything I do, seems totally boring, and meaningless. I find no excitement in anything. I find myself very alone, very unaccompanied and even with respect to things I do. There is nothing to excite me, there is nothing to make me feel entertained. And once again, I find myself lacking the resolution and strength to induldge in self-entertainment. Perhaps words can never express feelings because words are merely the definition of feelings and ironically, definitions only pinpoint but never elaborate a feeling. They distinguish. But in my case now, sadly, I think searching for it's definition will be a good enough victory.
All of a sudden, I feel I am on a different frequency as everyone around me, and even the things I do.
I can't help it but feel very detached from everything. From people, from the things I do, the things I enjoy, my family. Why is it that I feel such a draconian sense of detachment. Why do I feel so unhappy doing the things I usually do. I really have no understanding at all.
It seems like I am in a state where I dread everything, even the things which I used to enjoy. And even things that make me sad, are on equal standing with things that make me feel happy.
And seriously, am I again, on a mood swing. I am not particularly upset over anything, nothing's bothering me.
Maybe it's just my happy program in me not functioning well, and it takes time to be back up again.....
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