Pttfff

Ptff. Don't say I din warn you, the style of this post is gonna be weird.

I don't know why. I feel "undefined".

Ive been acting very strangely recently. As in, I realized Ive grown more indecisive as days pass. Recently, there was a debate within myself " to post or not to post ". Yes, I ponder about such trivial things for like 10 minutes, (at the back of my mind while doing other stuff). I came up with a decision to post. And when I opened IE, and then found my way into blogger. I closed it because all of the sudden I just don't feel like posting.

Then i figured I go blog surfing.

Then I visited wr's blog. Then after reading his post, I feel like blogging once again. very weird. Im very very fickle nowadays and it's not good. This is just one small example.

This is so not good. Pttf, side effect of too much pokemon.

Yes, right now thanks to viral machines in class, I am officially in semi-sick state. Pttf, people who sell fish.

Weekend's coming up. Yeah! Slacking time!

Sometimes when I think about it, I figure out that some people in my class are quite smart.(yess collin im talking about you)...

I don't know why but I just gotta admit one very nasty fact that will change your perspective about Bpians (aka the BP pple). majority of BP people are actually arrogant. Our teachers PREACH to us that "neighbourhood schools are our STEPPING stones". And now ironically, a huge percentage of bP students are mixed with neighbourhood schools in JC. Very very ironic. But I believe these neighbourhood sch people here in JC are the better ones in their own schools

When different school culture's clash, this makes life abit complicated.

I find myself hard to settling into a mugger's den. Perhaps it is a well known fact that in neighbourhood schools teachers probably really tell the students that " You have to work hard if you wanna make it somewhere ".

I find it very disturbing that people work hard, put in the effort and finally reach this point here in JC. but me, I did almost nothing. very last minute revision. Is it just because I am in BP thats why I can get such grades? Is it the aura that embraces me whenever I go to attend school is BP? or is it the teachers?

Sometimes, I feel a sense of sadness. I see how people slog. Everyday in school, in class. I know there are hardworking ones out there. If they were like this during secondary school, and they're only at this point. What lies ahead of them?

Hardwork brings out your potential. If you have worked hard, then you will hit the bottleneck. That's your potential.

But for me, Im afraid. Im afraid of actually putting in the effort to see my limits. People have told me JC stuff is difficult. But im utterly disappointed. I thought by coming here I am able to challenge my limits and fight for once a decent enemy unlike the olevels which was no kick at all. but from what I see, not challenging at all. boring.

Seriously, secondary school life with all the nonsense and all the problems I face with the discipline commitee is 100 times more stressful than JC life. At least no one makes noise about my hair and demands it to be cut.

Life is fair. God gave me the brains, but he didn't give me discipline. He gave others a lesser brain, but alot more discipline Afterall, this is all balancing.

I feel alot power flowing within me nowadays. I actually grew smarter I believe since days spent rotting at home during PAE. Don't ask me why I know. It ain't sixth sense, it's what I can feel.

Today there was a talk by principal. About retaining. Retaining is a very familair term to me. I almost retainned twice in secondary school. Sec 2 when I was just plain lazy and screwed my English CA and then i got to get high marks for Final exam to just pass on the dot for Eng. Very sad case. Sec 3 i failed everything because I didn't even listen in class. i was practically sleeping the whole year.

Compared to last time, and by just listening in class and not dozing off to dreamland. I am making drastic improvements. But seriously, Im still puzzled by why the heck did I land myself in JC. when my personality is not cut out for such intense "mindwork" (or rather, HARDWORK). i will strive to do well, while remaining as slack as possible.

And yes, continuing to play my pokemon too!

Im at 7th badge and for some reason I feel my pokes are rather underleveled. Not going to state levels etc..and details because this will interest NOBODY.

Seriously, I hope this post doesn't offend anyone. this neighbourhood sec school vs not so neighbourhood sec schools may get quite sensitive.