Entropy

Before I meet the chemistry guillotine, I shall say some last words.

I've been trying to study Math last night, to almost no avail. It was trying to condense a year's work into a night, which was virtually impossible. I advanced, I tried, but I believe it's still not enough. This morning, I was surprised I got up rather early, I'd say around 0730 hrs?

I felt an uncontrollable urge to go berserk in ecstasy, but the fact that chemistry is like in a few hours made the whole mood go sour and sunken. I dread chemistry thinking how I might die later. I'm suffering from wavering confidence. It's like confident, yet insecure. Why am I feeling such alternating confidence? Again, I've only read chemistry. Especially Energetics and Kinetics where I just read through. I've never drawn an energy level diagram correctly in my life but I think I know how. And that is perhaps the cause of wavering confidence. You think you do, but yet sometimes you doubt yourself. Do I really know my stuff? I guess my "Root Mean Square Confidence" is rather large, though.

And then yes, Organic chemistry. Been a long time since I touched anything to do with Organic chemistry. It used to be my favourite part of chemistry, well, at least relatively. There is going to be a Organic Deductive question and sometimes I fear what they can make of it. I don't care if they make it hard, but just don't include Nitrogen Chemistry into the deductive question. If they do, (and introduce it early), let's say I'm so dead. I've read through Nitrogen chemistry several times in my whole life, but I never seem to grasp it properly. Freak, I hate Nitrogen chemistry.

Paper 3 is just roughly several bunches of topics and approximately 5 topics plus the entire organic chemistry, and yet I'm already going berserk. For the fact that the school is already quite kind in telling us what will come out for Paper 3...

And then after being sliced and diced later in chemistry I will face the problem of restoring my broken ego and confidence to prepare for the mathematics guillotine. I believe math is more of torture death rather than an instant-fire one. Because they torture you for 3 hour before you are dismissed (if you're still alive). At least paper 3 later is only half of what math offers and probably exponentially less suffering in total. Oh well, we'll see.

I'm whining, I'm complaining, yet I'm blogging and not studying. I feel saturated.

Examinations are exciting in a way though.