merry go round

I spend ten minutes stoning infront of this cause I have no idea on what to title this post.

Okay, for starters. I failed physics. by 1 mark and a half (approx). I seem to be failing physics since secondary school all the way till now. perhaps I'm not really a guy but anyway, it's early but here are my results collected as for now.

A E S _ _

kills-deaths scoreboard
2-1

Bad sign, it abbreviates for Assumption english school -.-

GP-46% (E)
E for embarassing. I even believed I could get 60%. But my hopes was dashed when I screwed my AQ summary and vocab. On AQ-page, the teacher wrote "don't write what you like to write". or something along these lines.

Math-73% (A)
This is the bane of all my problems. My failing physics, my embarassing Gp grade. (concept of fair trade). but still, I'm just lucky I guess. And there was this "most improved students" page on the powerpoint slide in lecture, and I was on it. So funny!

Physics-43% (S)
I thought I could pass. I guess reading physics notes like a storybook is not good enough. Not to mention, you can't really read between the lines can you?

And btw. I'm not expecting anything more than an S for Geog and nothing more than an E for chem. Got 25/40 for chem mcq, so I can afford a little more mistakes (and BLANKS) on paper two.

I should start working a little harder somehow. I still find any reason nor discipline to push mysef beyond this slacky level. I wonder if I were hardworking, what kind of imbal grades I would achieve. Then I imagine that I savour the thought and then it's so ironic when I find myself sleeping in class the next lesson. It's not about a choice anymore. It's a habit that's stuck within me.

Finished watching Jdrama "long vacation" yesterday (finished 11 episodes in two school days), and now on to a new Jdrama, " Proposal Daisakusen", which has a really interesting plot. It's like, there's this guy who attends his childhood friend's wedding while still in love with her. The story depicts his sorry plight, and all his regrets as he thought he had an "eternity" to confess his feelings. When regret overwhelms, things don't turn out better but only worst as he is asked to make a speech about her on the marriage. And then, abruptly, an angel who inhabits the church used for the marriage appears before him, and offers him a chance to go back into time and change things which could have changed what that is happening before him.

And there was this phrase/s which I found quite meaningful.

Most people do not marry the person they truely love.
It might be the person that they love second most
but how do people even know who they love most? (or how is it even measured)
but one thing certain,
once you have made a decision to leave that person.
Then only will you find out if it's the person that you love the most
but by then it's too late.

Something along these lines, not exact (lazy to quote direct).

Sounds emo? maybe.

Anyway I'll just end here. I might wana watch another episode before I go to bed. And yucks, I don't wanna get back geog tommorow. the thought sickens me!