In the fourth dimension

I wake up and I stagger online. Then suddenly the number of people online is significantly lesser. Have I transcended into the fourth dimension. It certainly feels like that. Happy living in the 3D world people!

No I did not spend the transition to the new year on the overhead bridge dwelling in positive introspection! But well, I think I finally should come out with somewhat of a resolution. The year ahead looks tough, (really), I don't like thinking about the future now. But eventually I will be faced with it, whether I like it or not. The one dimensional nature of time leaps forward at every corner life shocks me. Revolutionary discovery after discovery.

So now about the year 2008. It was a year which was relatively easy. Yes it was. Really. Life was much simpler. Half the year was designated for A'levels, which I can easily conclude it to be my best part of my life so far. No stress, no problems, just a tad little anxiety here and there. Life had SO much structure. Wake up, do papers, read books, and then sleep. Rinse and repeat. It was a period of tranquility and I was trying so hard to be focused that nothing else mattered. Trust me, studying is so much easier than a lot other things out there. (namely, shopping in Bugis). Nothing much really happened, but I made a few technical breakthroughs of different sizes throughout the year on the piano. That's all. My interest for classical music skyrocketed and so on. The only thing I really finished was La Campanella, Chopin's 10-4 (but scrapped), Chopin 10-12, (but now I can't play it entirely), and then I messed around with A lot other things.

I've changed. And I know it very well. I am still emotionally unstable-very. I am still clinging on to that pride of mine. I am still expecting too much from myself. But now I'm learning to let go and lead a normal happy life. I'm seriously trying to be satisfied, to be happy. And not cloud my mind in negativity at every single corner. It's time to embrace what I have and stop whining about the other half which I don't have.

Somehow, the new year gives me the sense of a lack of direction. It makes me curious, it makes me worry, it makes me shudder in fear. It makes my confidence waver. I don't like 2009, I really don't. Somehow the challenges ahead seem too much, but yet sometimes I think otherwise. Wavering-like how everyone defines it. I'm a pretty bad person-I realize that. I do judge a lot into people's character. I can't possibly come to terms with my people, and generally am fussy about who comes within a 2 metre radius around me. On a whole, I really do find it hard to get along with people, but I'm trying. I sense everyone's social high is going to fall, but it will be a fall-revive fall revive cycle until it plummets entirely. School life is after all, does put everyone on handcuffs.

yucks.