The 28th of February 2009, 1700 hrs to 1855 hrs on CCK theater number 1 Seat H-16 was the biggest waste of my precious time recently. Why? Because the show is about dogs and indeed, it is of doggy standard. This is not my personal biasness against dogs or my revolutionary official "hate dogs" club, but rather, more I feel a moral obligation to express how I feel lest many of you fall into the trap of getting yourselves seat belted to such a film. This is maybe only one tenth of what it seems to be. One tenth the excitement, one hundredth of comedic expectation, and one thousandth of how sad you might expect to be. And also, never trust reviews. (except mine).
Now. I wished I could show you the sunny side of this film, but no. It was all cloudy and the boredom engulfed the cinema like rain and land. Relentlessly. There was nothing that could have saved the plain plot, and there was certainly no rainbow after the shower of boredom. That might have sounded harsh but indeed my feelings at the point of time. No, that uncountable million of point-seconds, which I actually felt that way.
Let me introduce you to Marley and Me. Don't be fooled by the seemingly attractive nature of shows which center themselves with animals. Dogs in particular. This show was probably created by an animal lover and a parent as well. It involves a married couple's struggle with work, love, marriage and most importantly, an untrained undisciplined dog which pees wherever he want, chew the furniture and so on. That is merely the tip of the ice berg. The only redemption this film gets is that we know how notorious dogs can be, and how people can still be tolerant of them
Now, the plot is haphazard if there is one to begin with. The organization of scenes are not chronological and absolutely confusing. Pardon me because the boredom, monotonous uninteresting pace and scenes made my brain shut off. It was organizationally flawed. What's more, I highly doubt that there is a plot at all. The most I can salvage is. Couple purchases Dog, Dog causes trouble, (lots of), and couple starts having children. Wife suffers depression because Dog and Children are causing a lot of stress and fatigue. So in the end, when they almost want to get rid of Marley (the dog), they decided it would not change anything. So they decide they want to keep him but he DIES of old age. Now aw. That's sad isn't it. Cut the bullshit. It was laughable. So they bury the dead dog. And the family with their little kids give a nice last words to the deceased. The wife gives him her jewelry her husband gave her as a present. (how worthy of a dog). And everyone weeps. So what, we're expected to cry here???. From a dramatic point of view, it was impossible for me to cry. The music was insufficient, the mood was lacking, and the thought of crying of a dying dog (what's more, a fictional dog) is totally unthinkable. I am no iron man here and I do not consider myself heartless nor emotional. So, why in the world will people say that this film is sad.
A brilliantly boring plot. If you love dogs enough, go ahead. Watch this. If you're a parent struggling with work load love, marriage and children (or dogs), watch this. You will solace in familiarity. But for teenagers like you and I, please avoid this at all cost. The only only only redemption is how realistic it is. (note how much I crave for realistic plots usually) but this one is totally out of the league. As of all that I remember, this is the worst ever film I ever watched in a cinema. (except those which freak me out, but that is thrilling in a different way). Plot my feelings while watching and you get a straight horizontal line. No thrill, no excitement.
Now, note how this film is rated comedy. Because there is no other way to genre sort it. Action? No way. Romance, not exactly. I was expecting to laugh, but no. All they had were half baked comic relief which aren't even funny. There is something wrong with the humor and it is drier and the Sahara desert (which is really really dry). There is nothing to laugh at really, except how miserable and pathetic this film is.
Like I said, granted doggy fans should check out this film. But at your own risk. To me, it is so horrible to the extent that writing a review does make me cringe. (yes, because it is actually painfully boring to watch and even to recall).
1/10. From me. At most.
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