I have been blogging pretty long post these days. The last introspective one was about a thousand three hundred words. For most people, amongst the blogs they visit, I'd probably be ranked number one in terms of volume and quantity. Quality, however, is a different story all together.
Out of curiosity and boredom, I peeked into the blogs of people whom I lost contact with. Quite a number of people whom I was close to, but nope, I don't even breathe one word to them nowadays . Because I believe that people come and go. Your greatest friend at one point of time will become a stranger eventually unless the conditions allow for perpetual friendship. Otherwise, all will be gone. I don't recognize my very good buddy in Primary Six when we crossed paths one day along Bukit Timah. I have him on MSN but we never got pass the barrier of ten phrases. I remember going to his house to play many many times, but no, I never could recognize his face even if we met along the streets. And even if I did, would I say hi? No, I'd bet not.
Secondary school days make me cringe whenever I think about it. There are no beautiful memories to savor. I hated growing up along with all the things I realized. I was a competent slacker. I loathed school, never wanted to study, almost retained in Sec 3. I was always getting into trouble everywhere, and at the end, I graduated without a cca. Sec 2, they pushed me to Rugby. I skipped trainings so often that I could barely chalk up 50 percent attendance after much grace and medical excuse. Then rugby closed down. I was pushed to video club, I found them too lame. There weren't exactly much " technology" involved. It was just as superficial as camwhore. But no, no matter how much I blamed these reasons, the only reason was because I wanted to be at home to watch the next episode of the current anime I was watching.
A geek I was, Anime. I plowed my way through dozens of series to the extent that I could actually survive in Japan if I was being thrown there. Till today I can watch Drama without subtitles. I can understand about more than half of a Japanese song. I am quite vague about this but I think I actually liked someone online whom I never met. And twice. Then I played cards. I played the trading card games where you find people loitering outside the mrt stations. Yea, you might have seen me. It was a fun, addictive games. I spend my weekends joining competitions and a huge fortune on buying and selling. What a loser-ish way to spend my life. Really.
And the next-in was the age of Dota, where it swept Singapore. Most males in school at that time were infected with this syndrome. I played a lot then, day and night. And my ego was as lofty high and I could never have endured someone putting me down without giving him a big tight slap or a whole paragraph signed of with passionate sarcasm. And I think it was during that period where I was so addicted to badminton. I played like on average six times a week or more. I had two official trainings which are external and I had two coaches at one point of time. I played high intermediate recreational badminton with "uncles" whom I met at the sports complex. They usually invite me back to play with them which is nice because everything is accessible and free. (though I'm not very sure, about the chronological order of all the things I've mentioned, they probably co-existed sometimes).
This is how I moved on. Junior College. And now my fascination with piano and classical music.It seems so random how I move along to things. If someone was once passionate about soccer he might find himself hooked to tennis down the road because they are fundamentally both sports. As for me, from a geek, to sports, to music. And that does not include my lower secondary days where I actually had interest in computers to read up on programming. (but yes, I don't remember anything). People seemed to think I was good at computers during that period because I used the computer for so many hours. It wasn't very fashionable some like 5-6 years back to stay online perpetually so I guess I tried to make myself seem more "serious" rather than just goofing around watching anime or playing games.
Since there is no pattern, we cannot extrapolate. I shall just cling to whatever I am doing right now tightly because I want it to remain this way. Many people have told me that I will not change anymore. When I ask them why. They say because my scary determination and loyalty to the piano is frightening. I'm really scared of that someday it is naturally being taken away from me. If they understood how drastically I could change, yea, maybe they would sympathize. If change is the only constant, what is constant then?
I pretty much wished I could have put better use to the power rangers and beyblade days. As a child I had fascinations with tamiya cars (sorry if you're from a different generation). but yes, I completed Pokemon like more than ten times on several versions. I sit there and play for four hours just like how I go on the piano nowadays. Maybe times have changed, but perhaps, perhaps, I am starting to feel that I am fundamentally the same as the person I was when I was nine or ten.
Simply, when I like something. it's either all out or nothing.
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