The discovery

I slept for some 20 minutes. Then I woke up because I felt as if I had enough sleep. Thats it! Rejuvenated equally as one would have in one night's of sleep. No, I am bound to get tired very soon. But just sometimes are not meant to be-sleeping early.

I realized that most things are either easy or impossible. Doing the right things with the right way may increase the odds but ultimately if something isn't easy it is still impossible. There really isn't any "so-so" situation. When you do something and there is an non-negligible failure rate you know that it is still impossible. Flying is also easy or impossible. Easy to a bird, but difficult to a dog. Somethings are predetermined. Our human arms will never take us into the sky. The fact that we do it once sometimes, does not really mean it has turned from impossible to easy. Easy is when you do it right all the time-somewhere I want to be.

It sucks when you wake up one day to find that the thing you have been building over the past few months have been nothing but fake. you set high standards for yourself. you try jumping across the barrier but then you fall miserably with a miserable thud on to the ground some thousand floors beneath. When you misjudge your own ability, or underrate your own talent. That is when the wavering confidence will come in and torment you. Because that sucks. Really. It's gone.

I realize a particular someone has been actually badmouthing me. But I am not at all baffled because I know the mechanisms of jealousy,pride, mild hatred, and maybe overwhelming immaturity at work. And because of that, I will not confront. Surprisingly, I do understand.

Sometimes I am thankful when people just don't like me and we both know it so it's so much simpler than putting up a facade.