Rapidly

Many days without a post. Some people thought I died. Most people know that my desktop died on me. It was so filled with content that it refused to boot up. What a stupid way to die. Anyway I am using my brother's labtop and I am by no means, guaranteed the undisturbed usage of it. A maelstrom of events happened in the previous days, just that I did not get a chance to write about it.

Sentosa was staccato amidst legato for me. Well, not really. Highly accentuated by many people, and highly loved as well. I use to say I abhor Sentosa, maybe some parts of it, but perhaps after actually deciding to walk out (literally and figuratively) out of my comfort zone, I've learn how the fun goes. The mechanism behind the fun is still a mystery to me, because perhaps unlike other people the machine within me does not fit with the typical mechanism of fun. Either way, I still had fun. Weird, but worth it.

Firstly, there is one problem with mass games with involve a ball and many people. Some people get left out. Wait, you might be guessing. It's me. It's really inevitable for a person with hardly any sense of what is happening in a three dimensional locus of say 10 meters. To be able to track movement in the X-direction, Y-direction and Z-direction which eventually makes up a complex vector system of many objects moving at once is really unthinkable. I cannot identify where the ball is going, I cannot block because I have no idea when the ball is coming (if they had proper mitigation and warning systems like when earthquakes do happen, then perhaps). I cannot really relate with everybody who is running around with their natural monkey sense. For me, I am short changed with the disability to play such games with involve so many people and I ball. It's not the lack of ball sense which many people contribute my disability to. I used to play competitive badminton which suggests that I have no lack at ball sense at all. (which in fact, requires ball sense which transcends beyond captain balls or it's variants). But still, I don't like put into a more civilized brawl, where people out for personal glory dominate. People who judge, people who are inconsiderate, people who don't trust, people who exhibit paradoxical behavior, and people who behave this way subconsciously really fail to make such brawl-natured games fun.

I was sulking most of the time until I could actually understand touch rugby because it's less "haphazard" and spontaneous. Really. The sun was moderate but had fluctuating intensity. I eventually end up with slightly reddish skin, which is actually not that bad. I was expecting to hurt but thankfully it did not.

However, overall Sentosa is really not my thing. Not my cup of tea. Drinkable, but bitter and also tasteless. But when I decide to actually pour in a little sugar from my part, it tastes better. I did enjoy myself to a certain extent though I was actually putting in a lot of effort to. Sometimes, this brings me back into introspection. I know some people think it's unthinkable for a guy to lack that monkey tingly sense, the sporty adrenaline, the urge and craving to go dance in the sun, to love being baked etc..but once again, I resist the generalization, for people who try to define me by my gender and age are people unworthy of conversation. Generalization has adverse effects but yet it is instinctive. Selective generalization may be helpful, but yet it comes to the point of where and when does it's real usage manifest?

The mingling around, and talking rubbish once in awhile has a very refreshing tinge to it. Even under horrible conditions-dirty sand, scorching sun. The day was seemingly perpetual. Having set out at 0900 hrs we endured till about 1800 hrs before we set out in our own separate ways.

The night before sentosa, crabbing was one new experience. The cooling breeze! But we only caught one pathetic miserable crab! Crap! Bear was making friends with all sorts of uncles and small boys (pedophile!). We met a boy and we called him Bishan Boy. He was really chatty, speaking very fluent broken English. Oh of course, what would you expect by someone who hangs around the sea catching fish!. But still, he was same age as Tay Yang. and he was probing my brother's PSLE score fervently. He seemed full of confidence!...And then when it finally came down to declaring their scores. My brother scored 100 points higher than him. (ouch, the disparity!). He scored low 160+. Well, even lower than my height for PSLE. And then there was this awkward amplified silence whereby Tay Yang was deciding whether to fake his score. Perhaps 220 would sound really not that bad after all. but since thou shall not lie, the inconvenient truth moulded into a dagger and shoossh it flew and stab it went. Ouch. And then after that, the frequency of conversation plummeted. But anyway, who goes around asking when his one of the lowest scores I've ever HEARD around.