Wielding a double edged sword yields nothing. But since usually both factors aren't in one single continuum I suppose it's safe to assume the vector sum of pros and cons do not cancel out. I am a deep thinker and I like to get to the bottom of things-at least that was what I was told. A double edged sword works in a way it can either win you a fight, or you could stab yourself. It's an either or situation. But what I am wielding is not exactly a sword. Not exactly as an tangible artifact, but it is something that causes palpable recoils.
Sometimes, I like to get to the root of why I am feeling a particular way, but one paradox is how I try not to be honest with myself. And as usual, (like how I always like to put it), friction applies and there it wears and tears. I am left fatigued without anything fruitful resolved. I feel I'm changing. Blogs are an effective way to document change but I wonder how many people do feel remorse or shock when they read what they wrote years back. I did. For we are what we assume to be the best possible situation we are in now. Naturally, we tend towards our ideals, and that I feel, is something which induces recoil damage. Plentiful recoil. Friction comes in and wears us out.
I think I'm becoming more serious. But yet I've always believed that simplicity and complexity lies in the same plane. I am still left perplexed. Convinced yet confused. Do they lie on the same plane? Or are they inversely proportional, or are they the freaking same thing. Chopin said that the end result of complexity is simplicity, and does this prove that all about simplicity and complexity resolves in a circle and in a case where circular reasoning applies everything becomes null as we hurt our brains trying to figure out what everything means. And so is complexity and simplicity defined by perception, the same about good and evil. Is such terms absolute terms, are there degrees of compromise. I've been thinking about all these, and I need answers. And even by doing so, what have I accomplished-this is a simple but complex question. (or is this just merely a duality?). But what has it got to do with seriousness (again!)
It's past midnight and this is where I start writing nonsense. Camp and Post camp dynamics are highly predictable. It's like free fall. How is it fair that when we bond, it's uphill and we break it's down hill. Bonding took time, effort and energy, and of course, the correct temperature, pressure and catalyst (in other words, camp environment and events), to take place. It is a reaction which is totally not feasible in standard conditions. Just like how ice exists below certain temperature it surely brings us to the point that remaining bonded after camp is like forcing Ice to remain Ice in a blazing desert. Where conditions do not comply, situations cannot be forced. Are we all forcing water to freeze in desert. In everyday life where the days are lived in haste and everything is done so forcefully, the heat is blazing. Ice is a simple analogy. How about getting Neon or Argon to react. We group leaders are forced to be Sodium and Potassium while some naturally are Caesium.
Today's party was haphazard but it was a good but futile attempt at restoring these conditions. These conditions where by water freezes into ice or vice versa. You can see how gaseous we were. There are natural inevitable preferences and these held priority over all others. The so called displacement reaction occurs (though I believe, not exactly). We tend to settle into our comfort zones and chemistry teaches a lot. We need energy and work to be be done to force things into their unnatural states-this applies with people. Cliques were more than evident today. They became so evident like layers of multifarious immiscible layers of solutions. Yet there is one hope that "intra molecular bonds" and "inter molecular bonds" will keep all us connected. Cliques are molecules. While covalent bonds are strong, we have to keep in mind that Van der waals are weak. We have risen up to the excited state, now is the metastable and very soon we will all plummet more.
I know I have been speaking in analogies but this is how these situations are best explained.
By the way, I am not trying to intimidate, just trying to get a point across.
Now on a friendlier note, I start to doubt my own intelligence. I hate myself because I cannot solve riddles which I thought I am supposed to. Trust me, these riddles are intellectually challenging, but since I've failed, I've proven myself to be a useless person with a useless mind. Granted, these riddles aren't easy but solving easy riddles is just like eating candy. Sweet but bad for health. I find myself not mentally malleable. I am rather rigid, and I am logically deficient. But yet people say I'm deep. Deep, yes, perhaps in a superficial manner. Deep but shallow, profound yet callow. How ironic.
Oh yes. Yesterday night was amusing. VERY. I tried to dye my hair. DIy for your information. I tried but apparently it seemed as if my hair resisted the color (dark brown). Anyway I am lazy to type and I should be going to bed very soon. >_<
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