The sequence of perplexing thoughts sequaciously breeds ramifications-of ambivalent nature. The root and final outcome lies of the same kind. (oh crap) This suggests circular motion again. (oh wow). When will I break out of the affliction of a mind that works towards convergence. Listening to Mozart makes me happy now (really!). Amidst the confusing environment where everyone is obliged to think in an oblique course, sometimes we should embrace the ephemeral. For once.
Sometimes, the evident evidence of duality in many things is really scary. More often than not, we are ambivalent towards other people, other things. (this really is that frigging word I have been searching for since day one, thanks wei song!) Otherwise, we are bias. ( that is more of a two pronged attack actually ) Sometimes, we all do experience some kind of split personality. That is simply more consistent inconsistency of behavior. We all contradict ourselves once in awhile. We all behave not like ourselves sometimes and behave like ourselves sometimes that it blurs the meaning of "ourself". We are constantly changing and so Heisenberg uncertainty principle serves as a good analogy. How accurate is body language when a person's thoughts is moving like a train (like the saying-a train of thoughts? HAH!).
I made my point. Precisely or not is another problem. Either way. Time is ticking (again). I hate this hackneyed point of mine. Yesterday's party was rather enjoyable. "Relatively" because not everyone glued themselves to "rock band" or it's variants. Though I used to think it's simple, but it ain't as simple as it looks. I still gotta give credit to people who can not perceive that sort of sound to be music. (really, I have to resist being acerbic here). It is actually hard and hats off to people who find comfort in actually wasting their time. Well, I didn't do much better. I laughed so hard that I literally ROFL (roll on the floor laughing) at some silly commercials on the TV. "whose line was it anyway" was really mind blowing. Literally, it owned me.
Today did not feel like Sunday. The festive season somehow has it's paws on every single moment. I keep getting the vibes and I actually do get more hyper. It's this "feeling obliged thing". I think I'm opening up more. I think I'm becoming less antisocial. I think I'm actually trying to be sociable right now. I think I am making a big fuss of nothing (and making mountains out of molehills is a deep thinker's field of work). Okay, sad digress but anyway playing the piano at the Piano Man Shop today was another daunting experience. An annoying feeling I've experienced is receiving praise you do not deserve. I played La Campanella (I am VERY out of practice, I know). Strangers said it was good. Well, when I played Revolutionary I suddenly had like five people coming into the shop standing there. When I stopped I noticed. People praised me despite that sloppiness. What discomfort. When I jolly well know the wrong notes I have, the tempo fluctuations, the things which I just BLURRED through (literally). And it made people so amused (or mirthful I would say) [new word I learn].
Today is already in the past tense. I have no more time to practice. I am getting sloppy. From bad to worst. I already have no hope. Someone save me. I am getting depressed.
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