today I almost lost the card you gave me. my mum repacked my drawer without myself knowing. I had refrained from opening that drawer for like a few months. and only today when I had to find a pair of scissors I opened it rather innocently and gosh it wasn't there! I was petrified, more of a nasty shock. where was it?
You're facebook is gone. You don't pick up my calls. Sometimes, I feel as if those things you left me were my only reminder of you. You're like dead, you know. Sometimes, I wonder if you're still alive. it's that kind of feeling. if I lose those things you gave me, it's like losing the memory of you. I want to be able to dig my pile of stuff five years down the road and smile when i see those stuff. when the pain have gone and the sweet memories start flowing it. yea, thats why I'm still keeping those stuff. to remind me that you existed.
I don't feel happy now. I have to book in early tonight because there's range. the pending incident makes me feel very uncomfortable. and now emotionally i feel disturbed. i don't know. I need a leaning shoulder. i feel very vulnerable, very weak. I feel scared and uncomfortable.
this just goes to show, life is unpredictable. on thursday i just posted that it was very peaceful and mundane in camp and now look at what happened.
Now I can only wait and see what happens. I only know that I'm not happy.
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