Am I so jaded to be sitting around doing nothing the entire day?
I've lost my resolution, my aim, and my focus. Let's just say, I am sitting duck, waiting for some sort of invigoration. (which will be either too late or not coming). The sad thing about me is that realization never arrives early, and even if it does, it's the wrong one.
I was in a state of vertigo this afternoon, not of high intensity, (thus, not worth the effort mitigating or whatsoever). I think it was due to the lack of sufficient good sleep. Sleep that does not rejuvenate, yes it was more of "unconscious doodling". I finally pushed myself (from the depths of the unconscious) to wake up at close to 10am this morning. Yes, I missed Daddy's express, but I got to church by bus.
I've learn how to tolerate today. Some pungent, putrid presence can be fairly annoying , however, remobilization was quixotic so much that I had to learn what is usually known as tolerance. . There are people whom you cannot get along with, fine, but for now, let me give up my pugnacity. I retreat, I give way.
There are so many things I want to do in 20 days time. The countdown target has shifted itself. Not to the beginning but the end. The wise saying goes, "begin with the end in mind", (where is this from? will some one enlighten me?). In a couple of days, all studying will cease as we gear up to walk into that hall of a medley of opponents. I would say with this modicum of time remaining, I will try to throughly enjoy studying. There is no other opportunity in the close future that provides such conducive environment for brain tuning. The days behind the wall in front will serve as an appropriate mirage for now.
I'm not screaming in agony. Neither am I overwhelmed with joy. Push us forward, oh time. Just move ahead!
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