Timer starts ticking again

And so the oh so magical pass out is here. It is rumored that the day itself would be our happiest day in our lives, but oh no oh no, it wasn't. After the parade I could barely walk from all that malicious abrasions that span from my thighs to my ass crack. Pain was unbearably burning but there was no choice but to accept cruel fate. 24 km was actually pretty much a walk in the park, a breeze but it was the Z monster (aka sleepiness) that was haunting us ever since the beginning of the journey. I have to say I wasn't actually physically tired but more of mentally strained. Most of us developed headaches of some sort (due to the lack of sleep the previous days considering we have been doing area cleaning for the pass few days very intensively)

So block leave begins. 11 days of so called "civilian tranquility" Oh oh, so fun. It was really thankful that I was able to attend church camp at Malaysia, which was in my humble opinion short. But it was an experience which I thought gave me some bittersweet chills at the end of it. Reason being that I somehow feel that all these fun and enjoyable company is all temporal. Very soon, I will be hauled back to where they call prison and it all begins again. But no, wait, army is supposed to be fun. And the insecurity that is developing in me now is intensifying every day because I don't know where I would be posted and my life depends on it.

Camp was fun, albeit exhausting. Did not get to play tennis this year. I wasn't keen on the over hyped up water polo which is in my humble opinion boring to a great extent. Bowling was considered the best by me though I consecutively showed off how much I could suck, but it's okay. Bowling ain't my bowl of tea anyway. But my idea of fellowship somehow involves people sitting around doing nothing and trying to amuse themselves. That, in my opinion, is the most fun, and fulfilling fellowship where interaction is maximized. A ring of 20 people playing taboo is somehow, overkill.

I can be extroverted if I want to. But my shell is always there for me to withdraw. I don't know. Somehow nowadays I cannot relate to what they call " the rest of the world " because my life is like from 5bx to lights out and people stare at me when I say 3pm as 1500 hrs. I find it enjoyable to talk to people about army and talk about army life because it is somehow, disturbingly thrilling to recall and talk about experiences in the army. I wonder if it's going overboard. I relate everything to army. Sickening! But fun.

Anyway, passing out is actually sad contrary to popular belief. The 2nd day after passing out I woke up chanting the songs we sang during 24km in my head. They're so carved into my subconscious. Unknowingly somehow, memories just penetrate the conscious and overwhelms me. It was fun. The last 3 months.