I'm sitting down here at home with nothing much to do. My life is pretty much in a mess. Nothing to look forward to. I'm scared of posting to be honest, and I'm so scared I get too accustomed to civilian tranquility. What's more, I bet next Monday gonna feel like enlistment day all over again. New people, new environment, new rules. Why not sum it up and call it a new world. It ain't no longer "the island" where ghost pops out of no where, people die of soil infection or whatever you have. There ain't no ferry go round ride anymore. It's just, somewhere random. Some place, full of insecurities now as I think of it.

I'm thinking of creating another how well you know me quiz on facebook since I'm so bored but that would make me stink of self obsession. (oh wait, maybe I am after all). Randomly watching dramas but realized my attention span recently have been quite short. Prison Break, Lost and all other series which have hooked me in the past now fail miserably to capture my attention. Is it the quality of the plot, or is it just me?

I pondered over such stuff. The "hiatus theory" (still pending title) as how I would call it. I remember as a kid, I loved a game on my beloved playstation. It was Digimon World 3 if I remember. Or was it world 2. As a kid, I loved monster breeding games because I found them creative! And till today, I still kinda like them (I love Pokemon by the way). And unfortunately, that was when I was facing the first monster any kid in Singapore would face-the evil PSLE.

To summarize, I was a bad kid, with my eyes glued to the playstation all day long. I was so obsessed that I woke up about 2 hours before my bus to school came so I could have more adventure time in the virtual world. And so two weeks before the major exam, my dad somehow managed to scare me into studying for PSLE. And then, he kept my playstation away from my sight. Depressed I was, and cold turkey I became. but ultimately, fear motivated me. Even as a little kid, I still studied for that two weeks.

Now. After the last day of my higher mother tongue paper, I was so hyped up about coming home to continue my Digimon world adventure. I tell you, I was grinning ear to ear till I was filled with dismay. When I entered the game (the world), I felt everything suddenly unfamiliar and there was this nauseating urge to put down the game and move on with life. Suddenly I felt foolish playing that game, more of I did not know whether I wanted to play on, because there was already this barrier between me and this game. What was this? the once so enthusiastic me, the game waiting for me to pounce on, and the two weeks of time acting as a barrier in between. I never touched that game again, till today-I wonder why.

I tell you, till today I am still amazed. On the contrary, there are times when things turn out the other way round. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and it is true. but now, when do things go that way and when do things move in the opposite direction?I guess, time is the only way to decide what things you can be true to, and things which are an illusion in the first place.