Dreams and inspirations

It's always good to have dreams and inspirations.

Today my little brother innocently came up to me with a grade 5 theory question and asked me for the answer. And I looked at it, and I had to say " I think.." and not "it's this or that". I wasn't even sure of the answer. I have grade 5 theory but that was ages ago and I only took 3 days to study for the examination which I eventually scrapped through because music theory at grade 5 is nothing compared to say physics or chemistry at the A'levels.

I have 3 books lying by my bed side right now, 6,7,8 respectively. I am very tempted to plow through them but I believe it's not as easy as it sounds. I know it's probably going to sound very immature but the books ain't really a textbook, but rather some sort of complimentary guide which is kind of useless for someone who is clueless and especially for one who has already very shaky foundations of music theory.

Therefore, I plan to enroll myself in a class to formally take my grade 8 theory. And then eventually (I hope) move on to the trinity diploma for music composition.

ATCL recital examination (probably and likely) next May.

My recital looks like this (as of now)

Scarlatti K491 Sonata
Beethoven Grande Sonata 'Pathetique'
Liszt Liebestraume (no3)
Debussy "La Plus Que Lente" (slower than slow waltz)
Scriabin Prelude Op11-6* MAYBE
Moszkowski "Etincelles"

I haven't timed them, in fact, I haven't decided where and how to use repeats and therefore the timing are all vague but I'm pretty sure this will suffice (in fact, it might exceed)

I'm actually almost done with at least getting my feet wet in most of these pieces. Beethoven's still a tricky one. I dislike the 3rd movement somehow. Etincelles is an exciting piece and very pleasurable to play (and slightly virtuosic as well!) I've got to say I predict problems in Beethoven. Liebestraume has been my most stable because I've been playing it for some time.
I just finished memorizing the entire Etincelles (10 pages btw) in one week, and playing it at full speed already (except some bits). If only I can keep up this pace. Sigh, well, not every week I'll be stuck at home with HFMD.

To come up with this program. I actually completed two other pieces but I tossed it away due to lack of interest (suddenly). Copland's Scherzo "Cat and mouse" as well as Bach's partita no1 (prelude/gigue). I was also the midst of playing Chopin's 3rd ballade.

I don't know why but I hope this "stepping stone" ain't too far apart for me. This is what will make or break me. It's my determining point. I cannot afford to fail. I have too much at stake. and therefore I will practice to my hardest and max ability. I AM SO PSYCHED right now.

Ultimately. I wanna see how far I can go. Those Chopin, Liszt, Rachmaninoff etudes. Gotta play them all!

Also, I've been considering taking some grades for a subject by Abrsm,"practical musicanship" involving improvisation, transposing, aural tests etc etc..which is like my ENTIRE weakness. Or my musical handicap. Well, there's a lot to look forward to. I have a life time to play around with.

It is certainly depressing to start music at a late age. I really envy people who get their FRSM/FTCL when they're already my age and they're not aiming to go professional. they're just playing like Liszt just because they feel like it. Being professional and being a good amateur has a big difference. A pianist will seem more impressive if he is not a pianist by profession. Like for example, let's say an engineer who can play Rachmaninoff, or maybe a literature major who plays chopin for fun. You expect professionals to be good, and when you hear them play, they're SUPPOSED to play the revolutionary etude because it's their rice bowl. Same goes for piano teachers or anyone in that profession.

Right now. it's late. I have my lesson tomorrow. I wonder if it's impressive to have an entire 10 page fast paced piece memorized in one week. (I wonder?) My brothers ( who are taking ATCL and DipAbrsm respectively) would certainly take ages to get such a piece done.